Chasing after Life
by lalababy19
Summary: Carl/Enid Romance - Mature subject matter. Rated M for future chapters (SMUT) COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

As the Alexandria gates came into view in the grimy window of the RV Carl felt a kind of painful relief. Relief that they were back home, even if they hadn't all survived the journey. His dad was safe, Maggie would get the help she needed, Judith was safe and Enid…he wondered if she had escaped the closet he had locked her in. Locked her in to keep her safe. Thank God he had…she could've been killed. He only hoped that if she had escaped she hadn't run away like she did before. He didn't know if he could handle that on top of everything else.

The RV pulled through the gates and came to a stop before the first row of houses. As the gates clanged shut he could see the relieved smiling faces of the others waiting for them to come home. His dad turned off the engine but did not move from his place in the driver's seat. No one seemed to want to move, they were still shell shocked and completely overcome with grief.

Carl felt numb. He knew he was upset but somehow couldn't get that feeling to manifest physically. He wanted to feel it, needed to feel it. He couldn't cry, not because he thought it was weak, but because he just couldn't. The tears wouldn't come no matter what he did. Glenn had been like a big brother to him, and Abraham the awesome uncle he never had. And Maggie, now to have her baby without the love of her life to be there with her.

He pushed open the RV door with so much force it nearly ripped off its hinges. The others were there, father Gabriel was holding Judith in his arms.

"How did it…" he started but stopped at the look on Carl's face.

Olivia ran forward from one of the houses, "No…what…what happened?" he could already see the tears welling up in her eyes.

Carl walked past her and took Judith out of Gabriel's arms. Somehow she looked bigger, but it had only been a day and a half. He crushed her to his chest and sank to the ground on his knees. She cooed and gurgled and reached for his face. He smelled her hair and felt the softness of her skin. Still the tears wouldn't come. He could hear the others stepping out of the RV and the quiet sobs and whispers behind him. They were telling them that they had lost, almost lost everything.

He heard the gravel scrap in front of him and looked up to see Michonne, her face still wet with tears. He stood up and handed Judith to her. He needed to be alone.

"Carl, it's going to be OK," she said as she reached out to touch him on the shoulder.

"I need to take a shower," was all he said and walked off towards their home down the street.

He ran up the stairs two at a time and closed the bathroom door behind him. He turned on the water until the room was filled with steam. He removed his hat, peeled off his clothes and finally the bandages over his eye. He wiped the steam off the bathroom mirror and looked at himself. At first he was horrified. His face older than he remembered, his body dirty and scarred and his face completely mutilated but the gaping hole where his other blue eye should be. His knuckles tightened on the edge of the sink until they shook. He balled up his right fist and sent it slamming into the mirror. He didn't ever want to see his reflection again.

The blood from where the mirror had cut his hand dripped onto the bathroom floor but the pain was negligible, at least he could still feel pain. It seemed like that's all he could feel now; physical pain.

He turned and stepped into the scalding hot shower. It burned his skin but it felt good, he just stood there letting the water cascade over him, washing all the grime away. He scrubbed his skin until it was raw and pink. He tried his hardest to scrub off the marker where Negan had drawn the line but it wouldn't disappear. The blood from his hand had finally stopped. He didn't know when it had happened but suddenly he realized that the hot water had changed to freezing cold and he was shaking. How long had he been sitting here? When had he sat down?

He turned off the shower tap and opened the curtain to find a towel. A grey bath towel was hanging on the door. He grabbed it and ruffled his wet hair in the fluffy terry cloth before stepping out of the shower and onto the warm tile floors. He was wrapping the towel around his waist when he heard a soft knock on the door.

"Carl?" a soft female voice called.

Carl almost slipped on the wet tile floor, "Enid?"

"Yeah it's me, are you OK?"

Carl didn't answer, he didn't know how to answer. He didn't know what he was feeling.

" _I guess she managed to get out of the armory…"_ he thought to himself.

"Carl, you can talk to me, I want to see you."

Carl rested his head on the bathroom door, "No, you don't."

It was quiet for a few minutes, he thought she had gone away until, "Michonne told me what happened. Carl I'm so sorry."

"Not as sorry as I am. Enid please just leave me alone…I can't see you right now."

"Why not? Let me help you."

Carl touched the side of his face, "no, my face, I don't want to scare you away forever, I already scare you."

"I'm not scared of your face. Please just come out."

Carl touched the door knob but realized he was still in just a towel.

"Enid, I…I don't have any clothes on."

There was a moment of silence, "Oh, ok I'll grab you something."

He could hear her footsteps retreating. A few moments later she returned and knocked, "here, I can pass them to you if you open the door a bit."

Carl turned the door knob and opened the door a few inches so Enid could pass him some clothes. He could see the bracelet on her wrist and wanted to touch her hand, but she closed the door again for him to change.

He pulled on a pair of boxers, jeans and a white t-shirt. He faced the door again.

He clenched his fist and then grabbed for the door handle and slowly pulled it open.

Enid was there, her long brown hair and hazel eyes looking at his face. She didn't flinch.

"Carl…"

"I'm not sorry I locked you in the armory." He blurted out.

She looked down at her feet, "I'm not angry anymore, I'm just glad you're back."

"You're just so stubborn and I couldn't risk you getting hurt." He said his voice rising. Something was bubbling in his stomach, hot and angry.

"But you put yourself in danger? What would I have done if something had happened to you?"

"You would have survived, you'd still be alive."

She was yelling now, "I don't want to survive if you're not there with me."

Carl was yelling back at her, "I couldn't live with myself if something had happened to you." There was a dragon in his chest, screaming to get out.

He was kissing her before he even knew what was happening. His mouth crushed against hers, his right hand grabbing the back of her neck tilting her face up to meet his, his left hand on her waist pulling her to him. She let out a small gasp of surprise and for a moment he thought she would pull away, but then he felt her fingers in his wet hair on the back of his neck. Her other hand was pressed against his chest.

This was what had been missing, he could feel this. This wasn't physical pain, it was better than anything he had ever felt. Carl was almost euphoric as his mouth moved over hers.

She opened her mouth to him and he felt her tongue brush his lips. She tasted like spearmint gum. He had never kissed a girl, at least not like this. He wondered how she'd learned to do it, maybe Ron had taught her.

Carl pulled away from her at the thought. He could hear her gasp, as they parted. He looked at her face, her lips were swollen and her eyes slightly hazy.

"What's wrong?" She whispered.

Carl didn't know what to say, "I just…I've never…I don't know if I…"

He could feel her hand touch his forearm, "It's OK, you're doing fine."

"Where did you learn to kiss like that?" he asked, his voice sounding rough.

She blushed but didn't answer.

"Did he use to kiss you like that?" he asked not really wanting to know the answer.

She turned her hazel eyes back up to meet him, "No one's ever kissed me like that."

Carl let out the smallest of laughs, it felt strange to laugh. "I'm sorry…for a moment I almost forgot about everything."

Enid placed a hand on either side of his face, "kiss me again."

Carl didn't have to be told twice, his mouth met hers again, more gently this time. Her tongue massaging his, his hands finding her small waist. He couldn't believe how wonderful it felt, he needed more of her, like he was starving for her.

He pushed her into the wall of the hallway, her hands travelling over his shoulders, his back, his arms. Her touch was electric. His knees almost buckled as he felt her finger tips graze his stomach. He wanted more, his hands sliding underneath her shirt to touch the soft skin on the small of her back. He could feel the goosebumps prickle up at his touch. Her breath hitched and she pulled away for a moment.

"I'm sorry, are you OK?" he asked breathlessly.

"I…ah…I…" she stammered, her eyes still closed.

"Carl?" his dad's voice called from the main floor.

Enid jumped away from him and all of a sudden the pain was back, he felt cold and suddenly conscious of his face, he could feel the dampness of his shirt where his hair had dripped.

"Carl? You up here?" his dad came around the corner into the hallway but stopped dead when he saw Enid.

"I've got to go," whispered Enid, and then she was gone. Darting past Rick at the top of the stairs. Carl could hear the front door open and shut loudly. His dad looked older than he'd ever seen him but there was something in his look that made Carl feel flustered.

"She just came to see if I was OK…"

Rick just nodded, "We need to have a meeting with everyone. Be at the church in ten minutes."

He turned and walked away slowly, making his way back down the stairs.

Carl turned and fell against the door to his bedroom, his breathing still trying to regulate itself. He felt hot and alive. A different kind of alive than when they were fighting walkers, this feeling he never wanted to stop. Something had changed in him.


	2. Chapter 2

*Author's Note: Thank you for all the positive comments and reviews. I wanted to watch last night's episode (Service) before I submitted this as I am going to try and stay as realistic as I can to the canon of the show and just kind of "fill in the blanks". Please know that this chapter happens BEFORE "Service" as Negan and his men have not yet come to Alexandria.

Carl couldn't sleep. He kept replaying the meeting at the church over and over in his mind. He had tried to fall asleep in his bed hours ago, but it was no good. He just couldn't turn his mind off, no matter how exhausted he felt. Every time he shut his eye he could hear the thick squelching noise of Lucille hitting flesh. He felt sick to his stomach and rolled over trying to stave off the nausea. He needed something to drink and some fresh air.

He quietly made his way down the stairs so as not to wake Judith and poured himself a glass of water from the tap. The front porch light was on so he downed the rest of his water and opened the door. He felt the air cool his skin and immediately felt the nausea subside. He sank down onto the front porch and rested his head in his hands.

His dad had given in, given up. He was going to be Negan's loyal dog. After everything he had done, he wasn't going to fight him. In all honesty, as much as he wanted to blame his dad, he couldn't really. He was doing what he needed to do to keep everyone alive. It didn't help how angry he was though, and Carl felt _so_ angry. Abraham and Glenn had to be avenged. But how? And how could he ensure everyone's safety and avenge them at the same time? What about Enid's safety…

Suddenly he felt his stomach twist and his lips burned when he thought of Enid. She had avoided him at the meeting, barely making eye contact and standing on the opposite side of the church from him. He couldn't help but wonder if he had done something wrong. She said no one had ever kissed her like he had before, maybe that was a bad thing? Maybe it was his face? He had put his bandages back over his missing eye. He was in unchartered territory. He was a teenager but they couldn't be regular teenagers like before the world had ended. He knew nothing about girls other than what he had read in a book at the prison or from watching the people around him. He knew how things were supposed to work, the mechanics of it all but had never really considered himself actually having a chance. Not with how the world was.

His dad and Michonne had made it work, even Glenn and Maggie…for a time.

It must have been close to 2 or 3 in the morning. Carl was about to get up and head back upstairs to try and sleep again…

"Hey…"

Enid stepped out from the darkness into the light of the porch. Carl slightly shocked jumped to his feet, his hand on the handle of his knife.

"Oh, you scared me." He let go of his knife and subconsciously pulled his hair down over his bandage.

Enid took a few steps closer, "Can't sleep?"

Carl sat back down and leaned his head against the side of the house. He rested his eye for a moment and heard Lucille again, "No, I'm beyond tired at this point but when I close my eyes I can see it happening all over again…hear it happening…"

"I can't sleep either." She was blushing, why was she blushing he thought. "Can I sit with you?"

He nodded and gestured towards the empty spot beside him. She gently sat down on the porch steps, her long dark hair falling over her shoulder hiding her face.

"What are we going to do Carl?" she asked. She sounded like she was going to cry but Enid didn't cry. Just like him.

Carl sat up straight, "We're going to fight back, get justice but we need to be careful. We can't risk anyone else dying."

Carl felt a small warm hand cover his own, just like she had done long ago. He looked up and wanted to see her face. He brushed her hair back and over her shoulder and she turned to look at him. A few moments passed where neither moved or spoke. He was reminded of when they had hidden in the tree together. He had wanted to kiss her so badly but she had been Ron's girlfriend, and he didn't want to be that guy. But Enid had been right then too, he had been a little scared to kiss her.

Carl realized his hand was still in her hair, touching her face. "Sorry…" he said as he pulled his hand away quickly.

"For what?" she asked.

"For…I don't know…earlier today…now…" he stammered. He took a deep breath. Why was he apologising? Because he felt guilty. He shouldn't want to kiss Enid. He should be crying himself to sleep over what had happened. Over what was to come. Crying like he heard his dad do before he could fall asleep.

"Don't be sorry," she said. She bushed her hair over her shoulder and out of the way.

"I can't help it," he said looking at his feet.

The crickets were singing in the night and a cool breeze was blowing around them. He felt Enid's hand move from his hand to his thigh, and a lump quickly formed in his throat. His heart started racing. He looked up and her big eyes were searching his face. She leaned in and put her mouth against his ear.

"You don't have to be afraid of me anymore," she whispered.

Carl felt electrified, his arms sprouting goosebumps, his head becoming fuzzy.

Her face was inches from him, he could feel her warmth, hear her breathing becoming more and more laboured. She smelled like spearmint gum.

He leaned in and touched his lips to hers. The effect was immediate, his heart was hammering and his stomach twisted sharply. He reached out his hands and held both sides of her face. He didn't want to let her go this felt too good. The pain was gone again. Now when he closed his eye all he could hear was his heart beating, the crickets and the wind.

Her hand was squeezing his thigh, her other hand in his hair. Carl could barely breathe. He needed to be closer to her. He slowly slid his hands down over her shoulders to her back and pulled her into him. She sighed against his mouth as her chest sank into him. He could feel the softness of her breasts against his chest and immediately felt a pinching in his jeans. He was exceptionally grateful he hadn't come out here in his boxers.

His hands found their way just under her shirt again to touch the bare skin of her back. Her breath hitched and she started to shiver.

It took everything he had to pull away but he needed to breathe. "Are you cold?" he asked, his voice hoarse and quiet.

She swallowed, her face and chest flushed, "No…"

She was trembling all over. Carl couldn't help but feel slightly pleased with himself and now he was anything but tired. The wind blew again and he could see her shiver.

"OK, maybe a little bit." She said.

Carl stood up and held out his hands for hers. She placed her palms in his hands and he pulled her to her feet. Her nose grazed his own, he could feel her breath on his face and see it rising into the night.

"Do you…" he started, feeling nervous again, "do you want to come inside?"

She nodded and Carl's heart soared. He led her through the front door and turned to close it behind him. When he turned back around Enid was standing at the bottom of the stairs with her hand on the railing. He wanted so desperately to take her upstairs to his room but knew she wouldn't be ready to do that.

He took her by the hand and led her over to the sofa in front of the fireplace. A few embers were still dimly crackling and glowed red in the darkness. Carl felt slightly awkward, not really sure of what he should be doing. He gestured to the sofa and Enid sat down.

Carl's hand brushed his hair over his bandage again as he stared at Enid looking up at him.

"Uh…" he started awkwardly, "do you want something to drink?"

She shook her head. Her face was glowing in the light of the fireplace, her lips were shining and swollen. Her hazel eyes sparkling in the darkness. She reached out her hand to him. His fingertips touched hers and before he knew it she was pulling him down to meet her. She was kissing him with a new kind of ferocity, her hands roaming over him wildly.

Carl couldn't think, couldn't breathe, couldn't even hear for the blood pounding in his ears. His heart was hammering so fast he was sure the whole house could hear it but he didn't care. All the pain was gone and there was just her and her lips, her body, and her smell.

Carl wrapped one arm around her and lowered her onto the sofa, steadying himself with his other hand. She was pulling him down with her and he felt his hips sink into hers. His body was tingling from his head to his toes but mostly in his groin. He had never been so turned on before. I mean sure he was no stranger to the solo game but this was completely different. He worried what she would think when she felt him bulging down there.

He wanted more of her. He left her lips and kissed her along her jaw line down her neck. He heard a small moan escape her lips. It was the hottest thing he'd ever heard. Her hands had found their way under his shirt and were touching his stomach just above the waist band of his jeans. His breathing caught and he exhaled loudly trying to refocus and calm down.

"Carl…" he heard her whisper. His lips found hers again and felt her hips swing up. His erection ground into her pelvis and he let a groan escape his throat. His hand found the bottom of her shirt and he slipped his fingers underneath. Her skin was so soft and warm, he could feel the goosebumps raise as he lightly traced his fingers along her ribcage.

She was kissing his neck now, her teeth just slightly grazing the skin as her fingers fluttered over his back. He didn't know if he was brave enough but his hand gently grasped her breast as he kissed her collarbone. He could feel her nipple through the thin fabric of her bra. She sighed and arched her back as he touched her, slowly moving his thumb in small circles over her nipple. His erection was painful against the constraints of his pants.

Enid's hands found the button of his jeans and Carl sighed with relief as some of the pressure was released.

" _Holy shit is this really happening?"_ he thought. He didn't want to push her too far, he didn't want her to leave or the memories would torment him again. He wanted more of her.

He let go of her breast and traced her skin down to the space between her legs. His fingers touched her over her jeans and he could feel the heat radiating from her. She gave a sharp gasp and Carl felt her hand close around his wrist.

"Carl, I don't…" she whispered.

Carl removed his hand from her and looked at her face. Her lips were parted, her skin glowing in the dim light. Her chest was heaving up and down as she tried to calm her breathing.

"Sorry…I didn't mean to, I mean I did but…" Carl stammered.

Enid gave a short laugh, "Carl, it's OK. I just don't know if I'm ready for that…just yet you know?"

He nodded, trying to bring his breathing back to normal. He pushed back and off of her while she pulled her shirt back down and sat upright on the sofa. Her face was flushed and she ran her hand through her hair. Carl felt cold without her against him.

"I should probably go…" Enid said and she stood.

"Wait," he said, "will you stay?"

Enid raised an eyebrow.

"Just to sleep, I promise. Just stay here. When you're here I don't think about it as much."

Enid smiled sadly and nodded. She laid down next to him on the couch, her back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on her shoulder.

"Thanks for staying." He said quietly.

"I didn't want to leave anyway. There's nothing for me out there."

Carl rested his eye and the horrors stopped.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's note: Thank you everyone for encouraging me with your awesome reviews. I won't be posting again until after Sunday's episode. With the promos that have gone out about episode 5 "Go Getters" I'm expecting a lot of CarlxEnid development. Yay! Hopefully it doesn't make this story too far fetched.

Chapter 3:

Carl woke up to find Enid gone. She couldn't have left long ago because the cushions next to him were still warm and although his heart sank to not have her there it was probably for the best. He didn't know how he would have explained it to his dad or Michonne.

He wasn't even sure if it was necessary to explain to them. He wasn't a little kid anymore, but if he could avoid an awkward conversation all the better. Although he had finally gotten some sleep he still felt tired. He sat up quickly and immediately got a headache. He winced and pressed the heel of his hand to his temple. He could feel the scar developing underneath the bandages from the bullet wound but it didn't hurt anymore. Slowly he picked himself up and headed up the stairs to shower and change.

The community of Alexandria moved slowly in their sadness but with a kind of panic as they tried to organize and scavenge as much as possible for when Negan arrived. No one knew what he would want or try to take. Carl helped out mostly in the armory with Olivia and Rosita but also took inventory of his own things. As stupid as it seemed he didn't want the Saviors to get the pleasure of pillaging his room. He hid all but two of his comic books and all of the chocolate bars he had found under a loose floorboard in his closet. He also hid a few of Judith's toys and some baby food, as it would be just like those people to steal the food right out of a baby's mouth.

He didn't see much of Enid over the next two days. Carl felt her absence like an itch that just couldn't be scratched. Sometimes he would see her walking through the streets but she seemed to be avoiding him. Maybe she was or maybe it was all in his head, he wasn't sure. A few times he caught her eye and tried his best to smile but he felt like it came out as a sort of grimace which probably scared her away even more. He busied himself with work or watching Judith or cooking something edible out of the rations they had. At night he could still hear Lucille.

Carl was playing with Judith in the living room when he heard the commotion. A loud rumbling was coming from the front gates just down the street from their home. He jumped up and peered out the window. They were opening the gates…

" _They're here already? I thought they said a week…"_ thought Carl.

His heart started to race and a heat flushed his face in anger. His picked up Judith and ran to a nearby home where one of the older ladies lived.

"Carl what's wrong?" she asked opening the door.

"They're here early, watch Judith for me please?" he asked.

She nodded her head and Carl could see the fear in her eyes, "Of course."

Carl handed his baby sister to her, kissed her on the cheek and ran off in the direction of the armory.

Negan's men were spreading out and entering the homes. He saw two men head into what used to be Denise's house: the infirmary.

Carl jogged over and stopped just outside the door. Quietly he peered in and could see the men ransacking their medical supplies. They were taking everything! Even the baby Tylenol…

"Hey!" he yelled coming into view.

The two men whirled around and while at first seemed slightly startled, there was a spark of recognition in their faces when they saw him.

"Hey it's the pirate captain," the black guy said to the other with a snide smile. "Have you been crying yourself to sleep little man?"

Carl could feel his face reddening, his hand instinctively pulled his hair down over his bandaged eye.

"You can't take everything, you said you would only take half! We need that medicine!" his voice climbing ever higher as the anger swelled in him.

The fat one stepped forward, the smell off of him made the hairs in Carl's nose burn, "We'll take whatever the fuck we want. What the hell are you going to do about it you little shit?"

Carl reached behind his back and whipped out his gun and shot the floor at his feet. He then aimed the gun right at his face, "Put some back, or the next one goes in you."

The black man seemed slightly nervous but the fat one just laughed revealing his discoloured teeth, "Kid, what do you think happens next?"

"You die."

All of a sudden his dad was there, his arm outstretched to him, "Carl…Carl…put it down!" Carl felt his heart ache at the terrified look on his father's face.

"No, he's taking all of our medicine…they said only half our stuff."

A dark shadow crossed over his face as Negan stepped out in front of his father. Carl had never hated anyone more, all he had to do was adjust his arm and pull the trigger…

"Of course," Negan laughed, "Really kid?"

Carl turned to face Negan, "You should go, before you find out how dangerous we all are…"

Negan looked taken aback by his boldness, but didn't slouch away, "We pardon me young man and excuse the shit out of my God damn French but did you just threaten me?"

He took a step closer, "Look, I get threatening David here, but I can't have it. Not him, not me, not…"

"Just put it down," his dad pleaded.

"Don't be rude Rick, we are having a conversation here…" Negan tilted his head and took another step closer to Carl.

"Now boy…where were we? Oh yeah…your giant man sized balls. No threatening us. Listen I like you, so I don't want to go hard proving a point here, you don't want that. I said half your shit and half is what I say it is. I'm serious…Do you want me to prove how serious?...Again?"

Carl couldn't do it, not when it meant the safety of his family and friends. He'd figure out a way to kill them all…but it wouldn't be today. He dropped his arm and handed his gun to his father.

"You know Rick, this whole thing reminds me that you have a lot of guns. All the guns you took from my outpost when you wasted all my people with a shit ton of your own guns. And I'm betting there's even more! Which adds up to an absolutely ASS load of guns. And as this little emotional outburst has made crystal clear…I can't allow that."

Rick looked at Carl and he realized in that moment that Negan and his men were going to take every last gun that they had.

"They're all mine now," Negan said smugly, "So tell me Rick, where are my guns?"

His father looked at his feet, "Follow me to the armory."

Negan gestured for Rick to lead the way. Carl turned back to look at David's face. He was sneering at him with his awful teeth and pallid face. He took the few steps towards Carl to close the gap between them.

"Just you wait…" he said, "I'll get you back for that." He laughed and the smell was putrid.

Carl thought he might be sick. Sick from the smell but more from anger. He turned and stomped off outside. He grasped the railing on the porch so hard he could feel his fingernails digging into the wood. He was shaking and took a few moments to calm his breathing. He sat down on the porch and watched as the Saviors went from house to house carrying armfuls of everything. They were even taking their mattresses.

Eventually Carl heard David and the other man leaving the house. He stood up and watched as they passed him with boxes full of medicine.

"Hope nobody gets sick…" David said smugly. Carl followed them down onto the street. He watched them load the boxes into the open back of a truck.

"I'll see you soon pretty boy, don't forget about what I said…"

Carl couldn't take it, he was going to kill this guy now! He started towards the truck when he heard his name.

"Carl!"

It was Enid, she was walking towards him from a little ways down the street. Carl saw David stop and look at who had called out to him. He turned his face back towards Carl and the most sickening smile appeared on his face.

Carl immediately realized what was going to happen. He shook his head and tried to gesture to her somehow to turn around and run away. But it was too late, she was too close and David was soon blocking her path.

"Hey pretty little girl," he said and Enid was forced to stop. "How are you doing today?"

Enid said nothing but she did not look afraid. Carl started towards her but her eyes flicked up to meet him and her look said to stop. That she could handle this.

David continued to prod her, "It's rude not to answer me little girl…aren't you happy to see us?"

"Isn't it ruder to come here and take all of our stuff?"

David chortled, "You've got a little fire in you…" he turned to look at Carl, "I like that…"

Carl's hands were shaking, he was frozen, paralyzed.

"What do you have in your pocket there little girl?"

Carl's gaze traveled to Enid's jean pocket where something green that was poking out.

"Nothing." Said Enid, her voice was shaking slightly.

David took a step closer to her and pressed his face inches from hers, "Give me what's in your pocket…now."

Enid held her ground for a moment but finally let out a sigh and pulled the green item from her pocket and held it out to her antagoniser.

"Balloons?" asked David confused. "You going to a party little girl?"

"Can I keep them please?" Enid asked, her face flushing. Her eyes were working hard to hold back any emotion, "It's just…let me keep them."

David took another step towards her, "Say please again little girl."

"Please."

David reached out and dragged his finger along her cheek. Enid recoiled at the touch. "One more time," he said softly.

"Please!" Enid begged, her voice cracking.

David dropped the balloons at her feet and waved his finger in her face, "Be careful little girl."

David turned and smiled once again at Carl.

Carl look at his father, his eyes begging him to do something, but he just stood there, defeated.

"They'll be gone soon," he said before walking away.

Carl turned back to Enid but she was gone. He looked up and down the street but she was nowhere to be seen. _"Please don't run away Enid."_ He thought desperately.

Carl lay on the hard floor of his bedroom that night. His mattress had been taken along with almost everyone else's. He had tried to make it as comfortable as possible by layering blanket upon blanket but it wasn't the same.

He hadn't seen Enid for the rest of the day. She hadn't been at her house with Olivia and he had spent hours just walking around both in and outside of the walls looking for her. He feared that she really had run away again and his heart sank.

" _It's all my fault,"_ he thought, _"He was only doing it to get back at me…"_

 _Knock knock knock_

Carl heard the tapping on his window and bolted upright.

"Enid?"

Carl jumped up and opened the window for her to climb in, "What are you…I thought you had left…"

He was stopped by Enid pressing her lips against his. It was gentle and sweet and over too soon.

"I almost left." She whispered, "I got about two miles away when I realized…"

She stopped, her face studying the floor, "realized what?" Carl asked quietly his hands on her shoulders to steady her shaking breaths.

She looked up at him, "I realized I couldn't leave you."

Carl wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him, burying his face in her hair. She threw her arms around his waist and nuzzled into his chest. It was at this moment that Carl realized he was only in his boxers and a t-shirt.

"Enid…I, sorry…I can put on clothes…"

Enid gave a small laugh, "Carl it's OK…" her face betrayed her though and she turned the most beautiful shade of crimson.

"What are you doing here?" asked Carl. His eyes strayed to his makeshift bed and he immediately felt a tingling in his groin. He had to focus to keep from embarrassing himself.

Enid tucked her hair behind her ear, "I was hoping I could sleep here with you? I uh…I can't, I don't feel safe by myself…after that man today…"

Carl pulled her into him again, "It's all my fault. If I hadn't threatened him he never would have bothered you."

Enid shook her head, "No, he would have…he's a sick man. It's not your fault."

Carl sighed, "Of course you can stay, come here…"

Carl took her hand and led her over to the blankets on the floor. He sank down into the bundle of blankets that were piled and Enid kneeled down next to him. Enid grabbed the bottom hem of her sweater and lifted it up and over her head. Carl watched as her shirt hitched up revealing her pale skin. She had freckles on her stomach, he'd never noticed that before.

Enid turned back to face him and Carl looked away quickly. He didn't want her to think he was leering. Her cheeks flushed and her mouth curled up slightly at the side.

"What?" she asked quietly.

Carl shook his head, "Oh nothing…"

Enid wrapped her arms around herself. "You cold?" Carl asked.

"A little…" she whispered.

"Come here." Carl pulled her against him. His chin resting on her forehead. "Enid," he started.

"Hmmm?"

"I won't ever let anyone hurt you."

Enid nuzzled her face into his neck a little more and sighed. Carl rubbed the skin of her arms up and down until her goosebumps went away. They sank back against the pillows. He kissed her forehead and fell asleep listening to the steady beating of her heart.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

A bird was singing sweetly in a tree outside of Carl's window, the early morning light filtering through the curtains. Carl awoke, his shoulder sore and stiff but warm. He looked down to see Enid's sleeping face. Wisps of her dark hair were covering her face, her breathing slow and peaceful. Her cheek was resting on his chest the palm of her left hand over his heart. He didn't want to wake her but also didn't want either of them to be caught by a judgemental adult.

"Enid…?" he whispered.

Enid's eyes flew open immediately. She was a light sleeper it seemed. I guess they all were nowadays.

She blinked a few times and lifted her head off of Carl's chest. He felt cold immediately.

"Hey…" he whispered.

Enid turned to face him and propped herself up with one arm, "Hey," she whispered back.

"Sorry, I didn't want to wake you up but I didn't want someone to catch us…you know…in bed together…" Carl's face couldn't possibly have gotten any redder.

Enid blushed too, "Good thinking," she whispered. She got up slowly and reached for her sweater. Carl grabbed a pair of jeans from the floor beside his makeshift bed and pulled them on over his boxers. He turned his head to watch as Enid pulled on her sweater, pulling her long hair from underneath to cascade over her shoulder.

Carl was thinking about the skin under her sweater. The freckles like constellations on her stomach, the way her chest flushed when they kissed, the softness of her breast…

"Carl…" Enid whispered angrily.

Startled, Carl whipped around, _"Oh shit, was I thinking out loud?"_ he thought. He raised an eyebrow at Enid but all she did was point at a picture on his dresser beside her.

He crossed the room to stand next to her. He only had three pictures: A picture of him with Judith, an old picture of him with his mom and dad and a picture with all the residents of Alexandria that had been taken only a few weeks ago. Carl hadn't noticed it before but someone had drawn on the group picture.

An arrow had been crudely drawn through Denise's face with red pen. A heart broken in two pieces was left over Maggie's chest and Glenn and Abraham's faces had been scratched out so much so that you couldn't even tell it was them anymore.

Carl's hands were shaking. He could barely think. He reached out, grabbed the frame and threw it as hard as he could across the room. It veered hard to the left and almost hit the window. The wooden frame splintered apart and fell with a bang to the floor.

Carl turned and looked at Enid. Her face had gone dark, her eyes staring at the ruined photo on the floor. Carl took a few breaths.

"They're monsters…" he said through his teeth. "It's one thing to kill someone…but to ruin the only memories we have left of them too? They won't get away with it…I won't let them…Enid?"

"I have to go." She said quietly. She turned quickly and headed for the window. Carl watched her go, he tried following her but his legs were frozen in place. He watched as she swung her legs over the sill and vanished from view, not once looking up to match his gaze.

Carl was throwing darts when there was a knock on his door.

"What?" he yelled. He spotted the picture on the floor again, his insides burning with hatred.

The door opened and his dad and Michonne stepped in, Aaron was behind them but stayed in the door frame.

"Carl, what are you doing up here?" Rick asked noticing the holes in the wall from Carl's missed attempts at the dartboard. His eyes then travelled to the broken frame on the floor.

"Practising…" he said quietly.

He could practically feel Michonne looking at Rick behind him. He couldn't turn to look at his dad, he'd say something stupid and end up regretting it later.

Carl could hear Rick step towards him, "Aaron and I are leaving for a few days, you should come with us."

"Someone's got to be here for Judith…"

"There's people who want to help and we'll be gone a few days at the most." Said Rick. He took another loud step towards him but Carl refused to turn around.

His dad sighed, "We need supplies…they're going to be coming back soon…"

Carl couldn't contain his frustration any longer, "Is this how it's going to be now?"

"Yes, it is." Rick said sternly. Carl could hear the frustration in his voice but he didn't care. "You know that."

Carl threw another dart and it missed. How could he go on a supply run when he couldn't even throw darts straight? How was he supposed to do anything like he used to? His body had betrayed him…his remaining eye almost useless.

"See you in a few days."

There was a moment of silence and then he heard his dad turn and start to leave, "We should get going…."

Michonne reached out and squeezed Carl's shoulder as she left the room. He appreciated the small gesture.

After they had left him Carl sank against the wall, he rested his head in his hands. The familiar headache was starting behind where his other eye should be. He was going to kill Negan. He didn't know how he was going to do it but he didn't care. He'd figure it out somehow. He didn't care what happened to him, he was going to take out as many Saviors as he could.

He didn't know how long he sat there trying to formulate some kind of plan. He heard some commotion coming from downstairs and decided to see what was happening.

Michonne was packing a large duffle bag with bottles of water, her sword, a few extra knives and some snacks. He sat down at the dining table.

"Hey Carl," she said giving him a sad smile.

"Where's Judith?" he asked looking around for the little stinker.

"I thought you could use a break so I asked Jeanine to watch her for a bit."

"Thanks. Why didn't you go with my dad?"

Michonne looked up at him, and opened her mouth to speak but seemed to think better of it and closed her mouth again. After a few moments she said, "I have to figure some things out…"

Carl felt hope for the first time in days, Michonne hadn't given in. Carl sprung out of his chair and after her.

"What is there to figure out?"

"How we can do this? If we can…"

"We can't!" Carl said louder than he had intended. "No…not like this."

Michonne shrugged her shoulders, "Your dad thinks differently."

"And he's wrong!" He needed her on his side, "You know it!"

Michonne wouldn't meet his gaze, she kept packing her bag and looked straight ahead of her. When she was finished she walked around the counter and put the bag over her shoulder, "Even if I think he is…" she stopped and turned to face Carl. "I don't know."

Carl shrank a bit under her gaze, it was almost like she knew what he wanted to do. She turned and headed for the door, "Change your bandage later and be nice to Olivia." She closed the door behind her and he watched as she walked away from the house.

Carl saw something move out of the corner of his eye and turned towards the window. He saw Enid walking through the grass towards the wall. Carl threw on his boots and ran out of the door and after her.

"Enid?" he called out to her as she pushed metal footings through the wall posts.

She stopped but didn't turn to look at him. "I need to see Maggie." She pushed another footing through the post.

Carl was thrown. "You're walking to the Hilltop?" he asked incredulous. She was leaving after all. His heart sank, "…it's far." He doubted the distance factor would make her stay.

She took a step up onto the post, "I'll be fine."

Still she refused to look at him, "Maybe."

"I'll be fine!" she said angrily. She looked at him over her shoulder, "I have better aim than you."

Carl felt like he had been punched in the stomach. Why would she hurt him like that? He thought she cared for him. The moment the words came out of her mouth though her expression changed. Her eyes turned sad.

"I didn't mean it that way…"

Whether she meant it that way or not, it hurt him.

"I'm not saving you anymore."

She turned back to the post and reached up to grab another footing, "Is that what happened in the armory? You saved me?"

Why was she so angry with him? "Yeah" he said.

"You made it back in one piece, you're still here."

This was about them…Glenn and Abraham, Denise and Maggie…it wasn't about him. Carl could hear Lucille and she smashed through skull and flesh and gravel.

"I'm not talking about that." He didn't even want to think about it.

Enid stopped, her eyes were glassy, "I'm sorry you had to see it."

All he could do was shake his head, "I'm not."

She let out a deep breath, her shoulders slumping and then she was climbing again. He watched as she climbed the rest of the way to the top. Her eyes caught his for just a moment and then she was gone.


	5. Chapter 5

*Author's Note* This chapter I had to split in two as it was just getting far too long. I'll upload the second part as soon as I finish up the end of it.

Chapter 5:

Carl headed back to the house. What the hell was he supposed to do now? Just sit around and wait for something to happen? His head was aching and he thought about running over to the infirmary for some Tylenol but then stopped when he realized the Saviors had taken all the medicine.

"AHHHHHHHH!" he yelled helplessly. He couldn't contain the anger, the frustration, the pain any longer. He finally decided what he was going to do. He was going to kill Negan himself. Now. He'd find out where the Saviors lived, he'd find or steal a gun from somewhere and take him out. If he got killed in the process he was willing to make that sacrifice.

He ran up to his bedroom and threw a blue flannel over his t-shirt. He grabbed his knife and wrapped the strap around his leg. He quickly changed the bandage over his eye making a point of avoiding his reflection in the broken bathroom mirror. He pressed his hat down over his head and started for the stairs. Carl took a last look at his room and looked at the broken frame on the floor. He kneeled down to pick it up, his anger building as he looked at the graffiti over the people he cared about. He folded the picture and put it in his pocket just in case he started to lose his nerve.

Carl made his way to the wall where Enid had climbed over. He slowly climbed up, his lack of depth perception from his missing eye made it difficult but not impossible. As he swung his leg over the top of the wall he could just make out Judith playing on the porch with Jeanine, her blonde hair blowing in the breeze. He wanted to remember her like that, happy and innocent. What he was going to do would help protect her, even if it meant he might never see her again.

He walked through the woods quite a ways so that the people keeping watch wouldn't mistake him for an enemy or a walker. When the walls of Alexandria were far out of sight behind him he cut through to the road. He could hear a walker snarling through the trees so he drew his knife. The road came into sight but the walker was still around somewhere, he wasn't sure where. A burgundy car was sitting in the ditch by the road. As he approached he realized that the walker was inside the car trying to get out.

Carl looked through the grimy windows and saw that the keys were in the ignition.

"Well…it would be faster to drive…" Carl said aloud to no one in particular.

Carl positioned himself next to the car door. He slowly grabbed the handle and let the walker push the door open a few inches. It swiped at him but Carl was quick and buried his knife up to the hilt in its skull. He had to use his foot for leverage to pull the knife back out and as he did, the walker fell out of the door to the ground. He quickly checked the back seat and trunk for anything he might be able to use as he had only just realized he hadn't really brought anything with him other than his knife.

" _Idiot…"_ he thought to himself.

There was nothing in the car except some old rags that smelled worse than the walker and an outdated GPS system that didn't work.

Carl sat in the driver's seat and pulled the door closed. He'd never driven a car before but, how difficult could it really be? He could practically hear his mother's voice telling him to buckle his seat belt though. He smiled sadly and pulled the belt across himself to snap it in place. He adjusted the rear view mirror and placed his hand on the keys.

"Here goes nothing."

The engine sprang to life and Carl smiled widely. He pressed his foot on the gas pedal and the engine revved but didn't move. He tried a couple more times but nothing. He then remember he was supposed to put the car in gear and mentally kicked himself for being so stupid.

With the car in gear, it pulled out onto the road and he headed in the direction of the Hilltop. He wasn't sure where the Saviors were but the gas tank was fairly full so he could try a few different routes if nothing panned out.

There wasn't much to see on the road as he drove but it was bumpy and slow going as he adjusted to the car. He was still trying to get the hang of the gas and the brakes and steering was harder than he thought with his eye sight. There was an old gas station up ahead which he'd seen before on other runs. As he approached he could see something moving.

It was Enid, she had found a bike and had stopped at the gas station. Carl was conflicted. If he picked her up she'd find out what he was planning to do and she'd try and convince him to stop, but if he didn't he risked something happening to her. He had lied when he said he wasn't going to try to save her anymore. He would always try to save her but she had hurt him and he had wanted to hurt her back.

Just then a walker appeared from behind the store attached to the gas station. It was walking right towards Enid. Carl acted before he knew what he was doing. He slammed his foot down on the gas pedal propelling the car forward. Enid jumped out of the way just as Carl hit the walker but the car had gotten out of control and Carl forgot about the brakes. He crashed into some polls and felt the sharp sting of the seat belt bruising his chest and shoulder. In the mirror he saw the walker get back up so he quickly changed gears and threw the car in reverse. He pushed on the accelerator again and slammed the walker and the car into the building: totalling the car.

His heart was pounding and there was a stupid smile on his face. _"That was awesome"_ he thought. He looked up and saw Enid's bewildered face. Carl lowered the window as Enid stepped towards the car.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

He couldn't tell her the truth. "Felt like a drive." He answered.

She raised her eyebrow questioningly, "You felt like a drive…?"

Just then the car ignition shorted out, the car sputtering to a stop.

"Shit…"muttered Carl as he tried to restart the engine.

Enid crossed her arms across her chest, "I think that's what happens when you crash the front _and_ back end of a car…the engine stops working."

Carl slammed his fist into the steering wheel.

"Oh God dammit Carl!" yelled Enid. She was running around the front of the car to the bicycle she had been riding. It was in shambles, bent and broken and completely unusable.

Carl got out of the car slowly, he hadn't meant to run over the bike as well. He hadn't even seen it. He walked up to behind where Enid was crouched over the ruined bike.

"Enid, I'm sorry…I didn't mean to ruin it."

She sighed and stood up, "I know…I just…" she turned around and raised her eyes to look at him, "Carl, I'm sorry about what I said earlier…at Alexandria. I didn't mean it, and it was cruel to say."

Carl reached out and pulled her to him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her face into his chest. Her hair smelled like pine. He held onto her for a few moments until he heard something crack off in the forest.

"Come on," he whispered, "we should go."

Enid pulled away and started walking. Carl followed along, even though the Hilltop wasn't his final destination, he wanted to make sure that Enid got there safely and it seemed as good as any place to figure out where the Savior compound was.

They walked in silence for a long time. Carl looked over at Enid every few minutes but she only looked ahead. She had a kind of determined defiance on her face and it wasn't something that Carl was wanting to provoke. After what must have been an hour Enid finally spoke.

"You're not sorry you saw it?"

Carl was startled by the question, it took him a moment to realize what she was really asking.

"Yeah," he said quietly. Abraham and Glenn's faces flashed by in his mind. The blood, the bone, the sheer gore of it all. "I watched it, both times. I didn't look away."

He kept his eyes on the ground placing one foot in front of the other. He could feel Enid's gaze now but couldn't look up.

"Why?"

"Because when it was happening, I knew that I needed to remember it, so when I had the chance to kill him…I wouldn't have a choice." He looked over at her. Her eyes were glassy and her jaw was clenched.

"I think I'd kill him too…" she said.

Carl looked at Enid with a small bit of amazement. He didn't think that Enid had ever killed anyone before. Walkers sure, but people? Maybe she was as angry as he was, maybe they could do it together.

"It's messed up but that's how it is. We do things for the ones we love….loved." Enid said sadly.

Carl knew that killing Negan would never bring them back. It was purely for vengeance and future safety for his family.

"It's not for them."

Carl hadn't realized how close Enid, Glenn and Maggie had become. She loved them like family. That's why she was going to Hilltop. It had nothing to do with him or anyone else, she wanted to be with Maggie because she was family to her. He suddenly felt bad for taking away her chance to accompany them when they tried to get Maggie to the Hilltop.

"I'm sorry I locked you in the armory…"

"I didn't need to see it." Her eyes dropped to the road, "We don't even know if she's OK."

"We'll get there." Carl said reassuringly.

"…Yeah."

Enid turned quiet again. Her hand brushed at something on her face and Carl could see she was trying not to cry. He turned his face away to try and give her some privacy.

They walked again for a time. Carl was trying to think of something to say to take Enid's mind off of everything. They would be walking for hours and he didn't want her to be sad the entire time. He was trying to think of a dumb joke to tell when he heard it.

Something snapped in the woods and Carl grabbed the hilt of his knife. A walker lurched out of the woods straight at Enid. She couldn't grab her knife quickly enough and the walker was snatching at her. She was using her arms to try and push it away. Carl pulled his knife and grabbed the walker by the shoulder. Enid fell to the ground as she pushed the walker away from her. He plunged his knife up through its face, and it fell to the ground next to her. Enid hurriedly backed away from the fallen body and scrambled to her feet.

She was breathing hard, her chest rising and falling rapidly.

"You OK?" Carl asked. He reached out his hand to her as he wiped his knife on the walker's shirt.

She nodded quickly but her expression soon turned to panic and she reached in her pocket.

"Where are they?" she exclaimed.

Carl had no idea what she was talking about. He looked around but couldn't see anything, there was nothing around them but road, trees and the walker on the ground.

"What are you…?"

"The balloons! Where are my balloons?" the tears started to flood her eyes.

Carl didn't understand why they were so important but he couldn't stand to see her upset. He scanned the ground around them but saw nothing.

Enid sunk to her knees and desperately searched the ground. Carl could see the tears spilling down her cheeks now. His heart broke for her. Carl went to move the walker, perhaps they had fallen underneath it. He kneeled down and rolled the body onto its side. There underneath it were 5 green balloons.

Enid grabbed for them and clutched them to her chest. She was sobbing, her face red and wet. Carl sat down next to her on the pavement. His breathing was returning to normal now and all he could do was sit and keep watch as Enid grieved. He wondered why the balloons meant so much to her. He wanted to ask but didn't want to upset her more.

Enid cried and cried, her whole body heaving. A few times, Carl was sure she was running out of breath and was worried she might pass out. Eventually the sobbing subsided and the only noise was the birds flying overhead.

"Enid…" said Carl quietly.

Enid wiped her eyes and face with the end of her sleeve, her eyes were red and puffy. Her face swollen from the sheer exhaustion of her grief. She pushed herself to her feet slowly and tucked the green balloons into her front pocket. Carl stood up and took a step towards her but she held her hands up in front of her.

"Carl…don't…"

She raised her head and started walking forward. Carl let her walk a little ways ahead of him. He knew she wanted space but he'd be there when she needed him.


	6. Chapter 6

*Author's Note* Please note that this chapter contains mature themes. Enjoy the smut lol

They walked for another hour or so at least. The sun was overhead and making the day warmer by the minute. Carl stayed about 10 paces behind Enid as they walked. She hadn't looked back once but she wasn't crying anymore and Carl took that as a good sign. As they walked, Carl noticed two bags on the side of the road in the bushes. He was pretty thirsty at this point and starting to get hungry. He was hoping there might be something to eat in the bag and as he approached he veered off to check it out.

He kneeled down and unzipped the first bag and while he didn't find any food or water what he did find made him smile.

"Enid!" he called, "Stop."

He saw her pause ahead of him and slowly turn around. Her face wasn't as puffy anymore but her eyes were still a little red. She started walking back towards him, her face questioning his smile.

"What is it?" she asked as she closed the distance between them.

Carl looked up at her, "You ever been roller blading?"

He hadn't been roller blading in years, not since before the world had ended. He remembered being a kid and his mom and dad taking him to the skate park near their home. He had been terrible at it but had loved it none the less.

Enid knelt down next to him and touched her fingers to the wheels. She spun them and Carl saw the smile start to grow on her face.

"I haven't been roller blading in years…" she said as she pulled the skates out of the bag.

"Try them on," he said.

"What about you?" she asked.

Carl looked around and saw another bag a little further down into the ditch. He reached for it and pulled it towards him. He opened the pack and inside was miraculously another set of skates.

"I've got my own it seems."

Enid smiled at Carl and sat down on the gravel to take off her boots. Carl couldn't describe how good it felt to see her smile again. She wasn't broken like his dad, she just needed to let go and grieve. Now she could begin to heal herself.

Carl pulled off his boots and slipped his foot into the skate. It was a little bit tight on his toes but not too bad. He laced them up and waited for Enid.

"They're a little big…hold on…" Enid pulled open her back pack and dug around until she pulled out a pair of socks. She pushed a sock each into the toes of the skates and then pulled them onto her feet.

She gave a short laugh as she laced them up. She pushed her boots into her bag and threw it back over her shoulders. She slowly pushed herself up and wobbled slightly on the uneven ground.

"Ha!" she said triumphantly as she pushed herself around on the pavement. She skated around in a large circle and then came to a slow stop next to Carl.

He smiled up at her, "You're beautiful when you smile."

She blushed hard, and turned her eyes away. She brushed her long hair off her face and tucked it behind her ear.

"Sorry…I….well, you do." Carl didn't know why he'd said it. It had just burst out of his mouth before he could stop it.

Enid looked at him and reached out her hand. Carl took it and with her help pushed himself to his feet. His legs shook as he steadied himself.

"Thank you," she said. "Listen, about earlier…"

"You don't have to explain…"Carl started.

She shook her head, "No it's OK, I want to." She took a deep breath before she began. "When I left before, after the wolves attacked Alexandria, it was Glenn who convinced me to come back. He told me that we honor the people who have died by living for them. Not to run away from caring about people. After my parents died…I didn't want to get close to anyone. I didn't want to love anyone ever again because if I lost them…it was too hard. Then you showed up and I felt myself starting to care about you so I knew I had to leave. If something happened to you it would kill me."

Carl felt a strange lightness in his chest.

"Glenn had a way of encouraging people to do the right thing." He said.

She smiled sadly, "When we were coming back, when the herd was attacking, we found some green balloons and a helium tank on the side of the road. We used the balloons to let Maggie know that we were out there, that Glenn was alive. Now…they're all I have left of him."

A tear escaped Enid's eye and rolled down her cheek. Carl reached out and gently brushed it away. He pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her and squeezed. She squeezed him back. She pulled away and gestured back to the road.

"Come on, I bet you can't catch me."

She took two long strides and looked over her shoulder back at Carl and smiled. A stupid goofy grin spread across Carl's face as he tried to adjust to the skates to catch up to her.

For a while they skated down the road, Carl trying to catch up to Enid who was clearly more coordinated than himself. At one point he almost tripped but steadied himself as Enid caught his arm.

"You OK?" she asked. Her face was bright and happy, her eyes no longer puffy but shining.

"Yeah." He looked down at his hand holding hers and entwined their fingers. They continued down the road holding hands, Carl trying his best to keep up with her.

An hour past until Carl's stomach started grumbling.

"Hey, you don't happen to have anything to eat do you?" he asked Enid.

"Yeah, sure…"Enid stopped and pulled her bag around in front of her. She reached in and pulled out two water bottles and two granola bars.

"It's not much but I figured it would last me until I got to the Hilltop."

Carl took a long swig of water and stuffed the whole granola bar in his mouth.

"Hey, what's that?" Enid said. She took a few strides across the road to where a small opening in the trees revealed a dark wooden shed.

Carl chewed, swallowed and followed her over to the edge of the road.

"It looks like a bunker or something." He said.

Carl pulled out his knife and looked over as Enid pulled hers out as well. They both made their way slowly down the slope of the road on their skates to look through the dust covered window.

"Maybe there's guns in there." Carl said, his hope lifting.

Enid put her hand on his as he went to open the door. "Knock first, there might be something in there."

Carl nodded and knocked three times on the window. They waited but nothing. Enid nodded and Carl turned the handle of the door. It was stuck. He gave a few sharp pulls on the door and it finally came free.

A layer of fine white dust fell from the roof down into the small space from the force of the door opening. There was a small closet in the corner, a small gas stove, a cooler and a mattress and that was basically it, except for a few random clothes strewn throughout the space. It looked as though someone had been hiding out here but had eventually ran out of food. Carl figured they had probably been attacked while out looking for food. The amount of dust assured him that they hadn't been back in possibly a year.

Enid and Carl took off their skates as they searched the space for anything that might be useful.

"Find anything?" he asked as Enid searched the closet.

"Nothing but clothes…you?"

"No," he said. He had really been hoping there'd be at least one gun here. He really needed a gun for what he was planning to do.

"Shit…" he said.

Carl sank against the wall and rested his head. His head was starting to ache again.

"You OK?" asked Enid stepping towards him.

"My heads just hurts, that's all."

Enid closed the gap between them and took his hat gently off his head and softly placed her hands on his temples. She rubbed her fingers in small circles on either side of his head. His eye slowly shut as the pain started to dull. Her thumbs pressed the skin of his face and after a few minutes the pain was gone.

Carl opened his eye, "How did you do that?"

"My mom used to get migraines. I used to do that to help her."

Her hazel eyes were staring at him, but they shifted for a moment to quickly glance at the mattress on the floor beside them.

Carl knew he may never have another chance. He knew that his plan to go after Negan might lead to him never seeing anyone or anything again. He was going to take that risk, and here in the dark cabin with the light glittering with dust, she looked so beautiful. He had to try.

He pushed her long hair over her shoulder and slid his hand behind her neck pulling her face to his. Her lips met his softly at first but grew hungrier by the minute. He brushed his tongue against hers, making the hairs on his arms stand on end. The taste of spearmint tickled his tongue.

Her hands were in his hair now; his hands on her hips. He pulled her hips against his and she sighed against his mouth. He took a step towards the mattress on the floor and slowly pushed Enid down onto it. The dust rose up like glitter in the air as they sank down and it tickled his nose.

Carl trailed kisses down her jaw as he slid his hand under her shirt. Her breath was hot in his ear and his jeans were pressing hard on his erection. He reached his hand down to adjust himself a little so he was more comfortable. He gasped a bit once he was set and Enid found his mouth again and was kissing him frantically.

He suddenly felt himself rolling over, Enid pushing herself on top of him, her hair falling in his face. Her hips were sitting on his and he groaned as she pressed against his member. Her fingers found the space between his and she clasped her hand down on his into the mattress. Her lips left his mouth and moved to his earlobe and down his neck.

Carl's head was spinning, he could barely breathe. His free hand found its way under her sweater and grasped her breast. Enid pulled away for just a moment to look at him. Her lips were red and her face flushed. Carl was worried he had gone too far but she sat up and grabbed the bottom of her shirt. She pulled her sweater and shirt up and over her head, her hair spilling out over her bare shoulders. She was wearing a plain light blue bra with purple flowers.

Carl propped himself up slightly to look at her. The freckles on her stomach extended up to her chest. Her breasts weren't large but fit her body perfectly. Enid fidgeted slightly. She twisted one hand in her hair, her other arm coming up to try and cover herself.

"No…don't…" he whispered.

Carl sat up, breathing hard and pressed his forehead against her collarbone, his hands resting on her small waist.

"You're so beautiful." He said. She blushed but took hold of either side of his face, her eyes looking over every square inch of his face. Carl's hand reached up to pull his hair down over his bandage but Enid stopped him. She brushed the hair away from his face.

"So are you." She said softly.

A small laugh escaped Carl's throat, "No, my face is…it's hideous…"

"Not to me."

Enid kissed him softly as her hands pushed down his flannel shirt. He helped her remove it and it landed softly next to them on the floor. Her lips softly kissed him as his hands lightly felt their way up and down her spine. His hand brushed past the clasp of her bra.

" _Just do it…what's the worst that could happen? She'll tell you no?"_ he thought convincing himself to move further.

His hands fumbled with the clasp awkwardly. He'd never done this before, never even thought of doing this before. Enid didn't pull away or laugh. She just reached back and placed her hand on his and squeeze his fingers together. Magically the clasp came apart and he let out a sharp breath.

He looked up at her sitting on his lap his breathing ragged and fast. She didn't move for a few moments and Carl was sure he'd gone too far. Then Enid grabbed a hold of her right bra strap and pulled it down and over her arm and then the other one. She held the fabric to her, her chest rising and falling rapidly. She never looked away from his face.

Carl felt like he needed to even the playing field and quickly pulled his t-shirt over his head. He touched his finger tips to the space at the bottom of her neck and slowly trailed his fingers down until they grasped the only fabric still covering her. She let her hands fall and Carl gently pulled her bra away from her.

His erection throbbed and a lump formed in his throat as he gazed at her breasts. The first ones he had really ever seen and they were perfect. Carl cupped both breasts in his hands. They were so soft, like velvet, and Enid's breathing deepened as her touched her. He brushed his thumbs over her nipples slowly over and over. Enid's eyes closed and her head fell back a little.

Carl was so incredibly turned on, he had to take a few deep breaths to focus and calm himself or he'd go over the edge too soon.

"Carl…" she breathed.

He pried his eyes off of her chest and captured her lips again with his. He pulled her to him and her bare chest touched his own. It was starting to become uncomfortable with her sitting on top of his erection now so he placed his hand on her back and turned her so she could lay on the mattress. Her hair spilled out like a dark puddle around her face. He lowered himself down on top of her.

As he kissed her, her fingers found the button of his jeans and with barely a fumble undid it. She slowly lowered the zipper and Carl couldn't help but let a small moan escape his throat. The painful pressure on his member had been lifted for the most part. Her fingers tugged on the waist band of his boxers.

Carl let out a loud, long breath to calm himself.

"Are you OK?" she whispered.

He nodded, "Yeah…I just, this is amazing." He couldn't help but grin stupidly.

Enid laughed and covered her face with her hands.

"No, I want to see your face," he whispered pulling her hands away. He leaned down and began kissing her again, his hands kneading her breasts softly. Carl felt her fingers on the waistband of his boxers again and steadied his breathing. He thought about touching her down there. He wondered if she would let him this time.

" _God I hope she lets me…"_

He let his right hand travel down her stomach to that secret spot between her legs. He could feel the heat and his throat felt thick as he tried to swallow. He undid the button of her jeans and pulled down the zipper. Enid's eyes were closed, her head back against the mattress. She'd made no move to stop him.

He grabbed a hold of either side of her jeans and slowly pulled them down over her hips. She arched her back and lifted her hips as he continued to pull the jeans down her legs. She had black underwear on underneath.

"Oh God" Carl exhaled.

"What's wrong?" she said lifting her head.

"Nothing, nothing's wrong. I just…I've never done anything like this before."

Enid sat up, she hid her nakedness behind her arms and rested her forehead on Carls shoulder.

"Neither have I…I hope…" She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, "I hope you don't think less of me."

"Why would I ever think less of you?" Carl asked bewildered.

She shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know…I guess I was always told that you had to be married to…be naked in front of someone."

"I think those days are over. I care about you, and you care about me and we might die tomorrow. We might die today."

She nodded and leaned forward to kiss him. Enid pulled Carl down over her again her hands pushing on his jeans. He wiggled his hips so his jeans slipped down and he kicked them until they flew across the room. He let out a sigh of relief as his erection was finally freed.

Enid gasped as he pressed himself against her. His boxers and her underwear were the only things between them. Carl had to touch her. His hand brushed the top of her underwear then slowly moved his fingers down. He could feel her wetness through her underwear and he shuddered with excitement.

He pressed his fingers to her harder and she shivered, her teeth biting down on her lower lip. He felt her hand pull at the waistband of his boxers and felt her fingers wrap around his cock.

He didn't recognize the noise that escaped his mouth, it was purely animalistic. He thought he might go over the edge right that second but took a few deep breaths and focused on Enid. She was making it harder and harder for him to focus though as she slowly moved her hand up and down over him.

"Carl…" she whispered.

"Enid?"

"Do you…do you have a…?"

" _Fuck…"_ Carl pushed himself up, "No. Do you?" _"Please have a condom"_ he thought desperately.

She shook her head, "No…" her chest rising and falling as her breathing steadied.

Carl had never been so disappointed in his life. Enid must have seen it on his face.

"It doesn't mean we can't do other things…" she grabbed his shoulders and pushed him down on to the mattress. She kneeled over his legs and pulled his boxers down just enough to expose his erection.

"What are you…?" but then her mouth was on him and he almost came right then.

"Holy fuck!" he whispered as his head fell back and his eye clamped shut. His dug his hands into the mattress as her mouth moved up and down over him. Her hand wrapped around his length moved with her mouth completely encompassing him. Her tongue flicked over his head again and again.

He was close, he couldn't take much more. He was sweating and panting, he couldn't focus. A whole herd of walkers could have attacked them right then and he wouldn't have noticed.

"Enid…holy shit…Enid…I'm coming!"

He felt her mouth leave him as he exploded. Her hand continued to move up and down as he spilled out over his stomach. Her hand finally stopped moving. She let go and laid down next to him.

It felt like an hour before he could form a coherent thought again but it was likely only a few moments. Carl turned to look at Enid's face. He had the biggest goofy grin on his face. She was looking at him nervously.

"Was that OK?" she asked.

"You're kidding right? That was the best thing that's ever happened to me!" he leaned over, grabbed her face and kissed her. "Where did you learn to do that?"

She blushed, "Olivia had a couple of Cosmopolitan magazines in her house. I read a few when I was bored one day. It said that guys really like that."

"Well…you read right."

Carl sat up and grabbed a rag from beside the mattress to clean himself off and then pulled his boxers back up.

"Can I do something for you now?" He asked excitedly.

Enid laughed a little, "Like what?"

Carl lifted himself over her and kissed her along her jaw. His hand came up to grasp her breast and he lightly pinched her nipple between his fingers. He lowered his mouth to her other breast and captured it with his mouth. He flicked his tongue over her nipple like she had done to him only moments ago. She was beginning to breathe harder now.

As his mouth held her breast he let his other hand travel down over her stomach and stop between her legs. He touched her wetness again pressing his fingers against her. He felt her legs tremble and soon his erection was back but he did his best to keep his focus on her.

He pulled his hand up and slid his fingertips under the waist band of her underwear and slowly pushed his hand back down. Her flesh was soft and hot and so incredibly wet…

He moved his fingers slowly over her folds exploring her. He looked down at her face. Her eyes were closed, her teeth pressing down on her lip. Her breasts moving up and down with each ragged breath. His finger touched a certain spot and she gave a sharp gasp and her eyes flew open. Her hand clamped down on his wrist and she was looking at him a little wildly.

"Sorry, did I hurt you?" Carl asked concerned.

She didn't seem able to reply with words but she shook her head and relaxed her grip on his wrist.

"Just tell me to stop and I will." He whispered.

"No…don't…don't stop…" she stuttered.

" _Fuck yes"_ Carl thought triumphantly.

He found the spot again that had made her gasp and pressed his finger in small circles over it. Enid's head pressed back against the mattress and her eyes clamped shut. He could see her hands digging into the mattress on either side of her. Her thighs fell a little more open and he felt her legs tremble.

She looked so incredibly sexy laying there with nothing but her black underwear on, her body twisting as his hand touched her secret place.

Her wetness grew and he had to touch that place. He brushed his middle finger down and felt a small opening. He slowly pushed his finger inside her tight space.

"Oh God…" she whispered as her back arched and her hips pressed against his hand.

Her walls clamped down around his finger and he fought every urge to moan out loud as he felt her. He moved his finger slowly, sliding in and out of her anchoring his thumb against her. Her hips were starting to move with his hand, her body shuddering as his thumb circled over her sensitive spot.

"Carl!" she moaned and her hands pulled his mouth down against her so she could kiss him.

She moaned against his mouth as her tongue massaged his. He continued sliding in and out of her, her walls loosening slightly as he did. He slid another finger inside her.

She bit down softly on his lip. His erection was throbbing. All he wanted to do was replace his fingers with his cock.

His fingers moved faster, his thumb pressing harder in hot circles. She stopped kissing him, it seemed like she couldn't focus anymore. Her hair fell across her face as she turned her head from side to side.

"Yes…" she whispered.

Carl focused all he could. His hands working while his mouth roamed her breasts. Faster and faster and faster…

"Oh God!" she yelled. Her walls clamped tightly around his fingers, her head falling back as her hips and back arched up. Carl had to fight not to come again.

Her body shook and then relaxed. Carl slowly removed his fingers from her sex. He could smell her on his hand. Something hot and completely female. He lay down next to her watching her chest rise and fall as her breathing returned to normal.

"Wow…" she whispered, her voice rough and throaty.

"Yeah." Carl said. He felt ridiculously pleased with himself, like he'd just won the lottery.

Enid giggled, her hands coming up to hide her face.

"What?" Carl asked.

"I can't believe that just happened…I can't believe we did that."

Carl let out a long breath, "Me either. It's definitely not how I thought today would go."

His hand found hers and he entwined their fingers. He raised her hand to his mouth and kissed it.

"We should probably get going. It'll still be a few hours before we get to Hilltop and the sun will be starting to go down soon."

Carl nodded as his kissed her hand. He never wanted to leave this place. He then remembered why he had left Alexandria that morning and his heart sank as he realized this might be his last day on earth. As he watched Enid it was making it almost impossible to want to continue with his plan.

She had put her bra back on and was pulling the straps up and onto her shoulders. Carl grabbed his jeans and pulled them toward him. The photo was peeking out of his pocket and Carl looked at it. He felt the anger build back up in his chest as he looked at the scratched out faces of Abraham and Glenn.

He pushed the photo back into his pocket and pulled his jeans up. Enid was lacing up her skates as Carl pulled the last of his clothes back on. He pulled his skates on and they both headed for the door. Enid and Carl both looked back at the room that had been theirs. Carl took her hand and opened the door back to the real world.


	7. Chapter 7

*Author's Note* Sorry, no smut in this chapter as I couldn't find anywhere to logically fit it in. Are you as excited as I am for tomorrow's episode "Sing Me A Song?" Comic fans will be for sure! :D

Chapter 7:

The heat of the day was finally starting to break as Carl and Enid pushed their way slowly up a steep hill. They had been skating for hours with only the occasional water break. Carl had kept a hold of Enid's hand almost the entire time. He wanted to feel as normal as possible for as long as he could.

They were sweating as they reached the top of the hill and stopped to look around.

"I think that's Hilltop over there." Said Carl pointing to a tall white house on a hill in the distance. "It looks like how my dad described it."

Enid nodded. "Don't worry Maggie, I'll be there soon," she said aloud to herself.

Carl raised her hand in his and kissed her tanned knuckles. Enid's mouth curled up at one side into a small smile.

"Come on," Carl said as he started down the hill.

It was tricky getting down on the roller skates and they both had to use their brakes almost the whole time. Carl almost fell a few times but recovered before he was completely embarrassed.

As the road to a largely fenced area came into view Carl stopped on the side of the road.

"What are you doing?" asked Enid.

Carl sat down to remove his skates. "We shouldn't approach the gate directly." He said looking up at her. "They don't know who we are, they may try to shoot at us. We should go through the woods."

She nodded, "Good idea."

They both pulled their boots back on and Carl held out his hand to help Enid back to her feet. She stood and her nose was inches from his. Her face was glowing from the heat, she looked so alive. Carl leaned down to kiss her gently.

A gurgling sound from behind him tore him away. A walker was stumbling towards them, its chest cavity torn open.

Carl went for his knife but Enid stopped him.

"It's OK, I got it."

She pulled her knife from the holder on her belt and took a few steps towards it. She plunged the knife up through its cheek and then out just as quickly. The walker dropped instantly. Carl couldn't help but be impressed.

"Come on." He said as she wiped off her knife and returned it to her belt.

They quietly made their way through the woods eventually stopping as the tall fence came into view. There were several trucks out front and Carl could see Simon leading the charge. He grabbed the hilt of his knife as they stepped closer for a better look. Carl looked through the crowd of people but couldn't see Negan anywhere.

In all honesty he hadn't expected the Saviours to even be there. He had thought he would just make sure Enid had gotten safely to the Hilltop and then gone on his way searching them out. It seemed like luck was finally on his side. Maybe he'd be able to follow one of the trucks back to their hideout.

"I don't think Negan's here. I don't see that black truck." He said more to himself than Enid.

Carl watched as men hurried here and there loading different boxes and baskets into various trucks. His grip on his knife tightened.

"You weren't taking a drive." He heard Enid say quietly. "You weren't coming to get me."

Carl could hear the sadness in her voice. He turned his head so he could see her face. There was a mixture of anger and sadness in her eyes. Carl felt a pain in his chest. He didn't want to leave her. He never wanted to be without her but he couldn't just idly stand by as Negan controlled everyone's lives. He was doing this for her, so she could be safe. So Judith and his family could all be safe.

"I can't let him get away with this." Why was it so hard to look at her as he said it? "You know I can't".

"I know."

"Come with me," he said. _"No that's stupid, you could get her killed."_ He thought kicking himself. _"But I don't want to leave her…"_ "You want to kill him too, we can do it."

For a moment she looked as though she was considering it. Carl could see her eyes change. She couldn't do it.

"You said it…It'd be for us. Not for Abraham, not for Glenn, not for Maggie…" she took a step closer to him and he suddenly felt childish. He couldn't meet her eyes. " _If only she understood I'm doing it to keep her safe."_

"You're doing it for you." She whispered.

He couldn't tell her, she'd never let him leave if she knew he was going for her. "Yeah." He replied.

She took a deep breath.

"So it all goes right…and you do it. How do you get away?"

Carl knew he probably wouldn't get away. He was willing to make that sacrifice. Just like Enid had said on the road, we do things for the ones we love.

"It wouldn't matter…"

He felt her hands take a hold of his. She squeezed his fingers, "It would to me."

A pain shot through his heart. He was saying goodbye to her, and she knew it. She didn't want him to leave. It mattered to her that he would make it out. He couldn't look in her eyes anymore. He knew if he did she'd convince him to stay.

He touched his forehead to hers, inhaling the smell of her skin and her hair. He touched his lips to her forehead. Her eyes flew open to meet his gaze. He leaned in and kissed her one last time.

He felt her breath on his face as he pulled away.

"Please don't go," she pleaded, "Just come with me, we can make it…"

"I'm just going to go home," he lied.

He turned so she couldn't see his face.

"You're lying." It wasn't a question.

He knew if he looked at her it would give him away, "No I'm not."

She gave a small short laugh, "You shouldn't go…but I can't stop you."

She dropped his hands from hers and stepped out of the tree line towards the far end of the fence.

"They'll see you," he said as he watched her quickly disappear in the tall grass.

"No, they won't."

Carl looked over at the Saviours loading the trucks, none of them seemed to notice Enid moving towards the fence. He looked back and she was gone. His mouth curled into a smile at the thought of her ability to appear and disappear almost like magic.

"The scotch is to go in the Negan truck."

Carl's head whipped around. Simon was pointing at a small white truck to his right.

" _That truck is going wherever Negan is. I have to get on it somehow."_ He thought. He crouched down low and slowly made his way through the tall grass towards the side of the open truck.

He had to time this perfectly to get in unnoticed. It was another fifteen minutes that he waited under the wheel hub before the men started loading themselves back into the front of the trucks. Carl could see a pair of boot clad feet pass him and open the door to the Negan truck. The engine started and Carl pulled himself from under the truck bed.

As the truck started accelerating her grabbed a small metal handle and swung himself into the open back. He quickly turned to check if anyone had seen anything. He couldn't see any other trucks that faced where he was so he felt fairly confident that no one had seen him.

The truck was full of boxes of all sorts of items. A box of liquor, several boxes of fresh produce and…a box of machine guns…


	8. Chapter 8

*Author's Note* OK so this chapter may be creepy AF but I feel like it needed to happen to set up the next chapter (which is already written but I'm waiting for Sunday's Mid Season Finale episode to make sure my predictions line up). Anyways this chapter takes place towards the end of "Sing Me A Song" while Negan is taking Carl back to Alexandria in the truck. Chapter 9 will likely be posted by Monday evening. Hope you're as excited as I am for the MSF, it's going to be amazing!

Chapter 8:

Carl sat awkwardly on the hump of the seat between Negan and a Saviour with shaggy blonde hair. Carl wasn't quite sure what was going on but he was surprised to hear that Negan planned on taking him back to Alexandria, or at least that's what he had told Daryl.

Carl could think of this two ways: Either Negan was really taking him back home or he was taking him somewhere to kill him or leave him for dead. What would he do to him if he did take him back to Alexandria? Would he punish him there? Would he kill someone for what he'd done to his men?

" _Just crash the truck"_ he thought. _"Just grab the steering wheel when we're going fast enough and kill everyone!"_

His hands started to shake as he sat there. He was having difficulty holding onto his hat and it slipped to the floor.

"Let me get that for you." Negan said as he bent over to snatch the hat up off the floor.

The truck was picking up speed as they pulled onto a long stretch of open road. Carl glanced at the steering wheel, his heart pounding.

Faster and faster the truck sped down the empty road. They must have been going 45 miles per hour now.

" _This is it, just grab it and you'll crash into the ditch and if you're lucky, those trees."_

Carl heard the familiar click of a gun and turned to see Negan pointing his handgun right at Carl's forehead.

"I know what you're thinking kid…don't even try it. I'll blow your fucking brains out before you could even grab the wheel…" snarled Negan.

Carl sighed and sat back against the leather of the seat. _"Fuck…"_

Negan smiled menacingly, "And here I thought we were making such good progress…I thought we were becoming friends. Or at least I was becoming the cool uncle of sorts."

He laughed when Carl glared at him.

"What? You don't want to be friends?" he asked him.

Carl said nothing. He just sat fuming at the situation.

Negan leaned forward and spoke to the driver, "Brent, don't you think I'd be an awesomely fucking cool uncle?"

Brent seemed slightly confused but answered, "What? Yeah…sure."

Negan turned Carl's hat over in his hands.

"Was this your dads?" he asked.

"Yes."

Negan smiled, "I have to tell you, it suits you kid. I mean with the fucked up eye and all, the hair helps but the hat almost makes you look normal. Here…"

He handed Carl back his hat and Carl left it on his lap, his hands curling around the edges.

"Brent have you checked out the kids eye yet? I mean really looked at it?"

Brent glanced at Carl briefly, "Yeah it's pretty brutal."

Carl tried to ignore them, he was feeling exposed enough as it was, he had no weapons and his face was uncovered. If it weren't for the clothes on him he'd feel completely naked.

"How old are you now? 12?" Negan asked with a smile.

Carl knew he must be joking, "I'm 15 asshole."

Negan laughed and clapped his hands together, "15 huh? You got a little girlfriend back home?"

Carl thought of Enid, her face and blazing eyes looking at him as she'd begged him to stay with her at the Hilltop. Carl didn't say anything, he kept his focus on the road ahead of them.

"Yeah I thought so…" Negan chuckled, "you may have a fucked up eye but the other half of your face is still pretty good looking. And I guess there aren't many options out there these days huh?"

Carl's hands clenched into fists. His face was getting red. He was furious.

"What's her name?"

Carl couldn't speak; he was so angry.

"Come on now Carl, I'm just curious and we've got a bit of a drive still ahead of us. Oh I bet it's that pretty brunette girl right? What was her name again? Did you catch her name Brent?"

Brent shrugged, "It was Edith or something like that right?"

"Yeah!" Negan pointed at him, "Yeah Edith right?"

"Her name is Enid." Carl growled.

Negan smiled widely, "Enid…that's right." He leaned in close to Carl, "She show you her titties yet?"

Carl's head whipped around to face him, his face a mixture of shock and anger.

"She has!" Negan yelled excitedly, "You lucky dog!"

Carl could feel his face betray him as the heat crept up from the back of his neck all the way up to his forehead.

Negan lifted his arm and draped it over Carl's shoulders.

"Listen Carl, has your dad had "the talk" with you yet?"

"What?"

Negan leaned his head away and smiled, "You know…the talk. About fucking. You do know what fucking is right?"

Carl felt extremely uncomfortable, if it wasn't for the gun still pointed at him he'd kill them all now.

"Yeah," he finally spat out, "Sex stuff."

Negan and Brent both laughed. Carl felt like he wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

"Well when a man thinks a chick is hot as fuck he…" Negan started.

"Yeah I know how it all fucking works." Carl practically yelled.

Negan raised an eyebrow, "You fuck your little girlfriend yet?"

Carl glared at him, "If you weren't pointing that gun at my face I'd punch you in the mouth."

Negan gave a short bark of a laugh, "I guess we know the answer to that eh Brent?"

Brent gave a short chuckle.

"In all seriousness though kid, you never know when your last day on Earth will be these days and trust me, fucking a girl is NOT something you want to miss."

Carl said nothing. His thoughts drifted back to the first time he'd kissed Enid in the hallway outside his bathroom. To how it felt to have her sleep next to him all night to keep the nightmares away. To how she had let him touch her in her most secret place and what she had done with her mouth…

" _Walker guts, walker guts, walker guts…"_ he thought desperately keeping his erection away.

"Anyways, word of advice kid, make sure you warm up the oven before you stick the roast in."

Carl was jolted back to real life, "You mean like when cooking?"

"Oh my fucking God!" Negan said slapping Carl hard on the shoulder and doubling over as he laughed, "Can you believe how adorable this kid is?"

Brent was laughing too. Carl was genuinely confused and completely embarrassed.

"No! Before you fuck a girl you have to get that pussy warmed up. Jesus fuck, your dad should be teaching you these things….see, I am the cool uncle."

"Yeah well, I've been doing just fine on my own." Carl said quietly.

Negan smiled, "Atta boy. Here I've got something for ya…"

Negan removed his arm from around Carl's shoulder and reached forward for the glove compartment. It opened and inside there was a small blue box. Negan pulled the box towards him and pulled out a small foil package.

Negan handed it to Carl, "Here."

Carl read the package, "A condom?"

"First one's free."


	9. Chapter 9

*Author's Note* Obvious SPOILER WARNING if you haven't watched the Mid-Season Finale. Some of this chapter takes place before the reunion at Hilltop and then the rest after the episode ends. I hope you all like it, I do love hearing your opinions. Now to figure out what to do with my time and this story for the next two months…I'd appreciate any suggestions ;)

Chapter 9:

Carl sat on the couch in the living room. He held out his hands in front of him, they were still splattered with Olivia's blood but he couldn't bring himself to wash it off just yet. He couldn't help but blame himself for everything that had happened today. If he'd never gone after Negan he wouldn't have been here to bring him home in the first place. Olivia would still be alive, Eugene would still be with them, Judith would still be a secret and even though he had never liked him, Spencer would be fine.

He heard the front door open and he looked up to see his dad coming through the door. Rick stopped and stared at him for a moment. Carl felt so ashamed, he dropped his gaze and put his head in his hands.

The door shut and Carl could hear his father walk across the room to stop in front of him.

"Carl," he started.

Carl jumped slightly, he could feel tears welling up in his eye.

"Carl…what were you thinking?" his dad said quietly. The disappointment in his voice pierced Carl through the chest.

He gave a heavy sigh and looked up at his father. "I was thinking I couldn't stand by and do nothing. I can't be you." It came out angrier than he had intended. His dad's resolve crumbled a bit.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way." He said quickly.

Rick sank to his knees in front of him so they were face to face. He reached out his hand and placed it on his son's shoulder.

"I don't expect you to understand why I'm doing what I'm doing. Maybe if you're a father one day you'll finally understand. Everything I do is for you and Judith. I'm just trying to keep you safe. Can you understand that?"

Carl felt like a child again. He knew his dad was just doing what he thought was best for them. "I'm not a kid anymore dad. You don't have to protect me."

Rick let the smallest of smiles touch his lips, "That's where you're wrong…you'll always be my son and I would give my dying breath so that you could take one more."

He couldn't fight it anymore and Carl felt a tear run down his cheek. His dad pulled him in and wrapped his arms around him.

"I'm sorry…" Carl whispered into his shoulder.

He felt his dad's hand on the back of his head.

"You're right," Rick started as he pulled away, "You're not a kid anymore. You've become a man and I didn't even notice."

Carl wiped away the wetness on his face with his sleeve.

"We need to work together though. Can you do that?"

Carl nodded.

Rick pushed back onto his heels, "Carl, why aren't you wearing your bandage?"

Carl let out a long breath, "He made me take it off for him."

Rick's face reddened in anger, "Did he do anything to you?"

Carl's hand touched the side of his face where his eye should be. He felt the rough scarred skin and shook his head, "He didn't hurt me."

Rick nodded and stood up slowly. He turned and made his way towards the door again. He paused, his hand on the door handle.

"Carl?"

"Yeah?"

"Appearance doesn't make someone a monster, only their actions can do that." Rick said quietly.

Carl smiled, "Thanks dad."

As the tall wooden gates came into view Carl smiled. Maggie was looking out at one of the guard posts. She was alright after all. He saw her face light up when she realized who was driving towards them.

They quickly excited the RV and waited for the gates to open. Carl walked through to find Maggie waiting for them. As his dad embraced her, Carl's gaze searched the large open yard.

Sasha came running down the hill towards them followed closely by Enid. She was jogging towards the group but came to an abrupt stop as she spotted him. It was like she couldn't even believe he was there.

For a moment she didn't move, Carl felt his chest tighten and his breathing almost came to a complete stop. All of a sudden she was running to him. Her dark hair flying behind her, she threw herself into his arms. She hit him like a wall, his arms wrapping around her but she hit him with so much force that he almost fell backwards onto the ground, his hat flying off of him.

"You're here. You're alive!" she cried. Tears were streaming down her face. Carl didn't have a chance to get anything out before she was kissing him.

Carl could taste spearmint mixed with earth as his tongue pushed against hers. Her hands touched the sides of his face. Her left hand gently grazing over his bandaged eye. He wrapped his hand around her wrist to pull her hand away.

"I don't care about that," she said breathlessly pulling away from him to look at his face.

"Heh hem…"

Enid and Carl looked over to see Michonne standing with her hands on her hips.

"Enid, you're here?" asked Michonne.

Enid blushed and looked at her feet. "Yeah, I came to stay here with Maggie."

Michonne raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms across her chest.

"Carl, your dad and I need to talk with Maggie and Sasha. You are to go to their trailer and are not to leave it until we come and get you. Do you understand?"

Carl nodded.

"Enid, I trust that you can make sure he gets where he needs to go?"

Enid nodded, her eyes glanced at Carl for a moment. He wasn't sure but he thought he saw her smile as Michonne turned to walk towards the big house.

"Come on," Enid said as Carl felt her hand close around his own.

Carl quickly scooped up his hat off the ground and followed Enid towards a white trailer at the end of the yard. The sun was bright and hot as the group headed towards the house and he and Enid headed toward the trailers.

Enid turned towards a door in the side of the trailer and climbed the stairs. She dropped Carl's hand as she opened the door.

"Enid wait…" Carl stopped at the bottom of the stairs.

She turned around, her hair blowing slightly in the breeze.

"I…" he stammered, "I'm sorry."

"What for?"

He gave a heavy sigh, "For being stupid enough to think I could make a difference. For throwing away my life so easily. For putting everyone in danger."

Enid took two steps toward him and held out her hand, "It's done, it's over. You're here and that's all that matters."

His fingers reached for hers and he followed her inside the dimly lit trailer. It was plain but tidy. A bed and a couch on one wall, a small table in the middle and an even smaller kitchen.

"How long do you think they'll be?" Enid asked.

Carl shrugged, "I don't know…could be awhile, Michonne promised they'd let me know what the plan is once they've decided. I think…my Dad and I understand each other a bit better now but he's still really pissed at me…"

"Well, I guess I've been left with keeping you occupied while we're waiting then huh?"

She turned to walk towards him, "Carl…I'm glad you're alright."

She stepped even closer to him, he could feel her breath on his face. He reached out and gently placed his hands on her small waist. His eye shut for a long moment as he inhaled her earthy smell.

"I think I love you…" he whispered. He didn't realize he'd said it out loud until it was too late. His eye flew open to see her hazel eyes searching his face, a few strands of dark hair falling across her forehead.

Carl watched Enid's chest rise and fall, his heart was hammering. She didn't look away. He couldn't breathe, _"Please say something…"_ he thought desperately.

"I think I love you too," she whispered back.

She raised herself onto her toes to press her lips to his. It was so gentle. He felt the hair on his arms stand on end. He felt her hands on either side of his face as her tongue explored his mouth. His hands found their way under her shirt to feel the soft skin of her stomach.

She pulled away just an inch, her eyes stayed shut as she breathed. "Come with me."

"Anywhere," he whispered.

She pushed him backwards against a thin wooden door. Her hand reached to turn the handle and the door swung open slowly. The room was small and bare. There was a neatly made twin sized bed against the wall with a small nightstand that had a lamp on it. Other than that, the only things in the room were a few articles of clothing piled in the corner, her bag and a pair of roller skates.

Carl smiled when he saw the skates. The only window had a dark shade blocking out the sun so that the room was lit only by the small lamp next to the bed.

"This is my room." She said quietly.

Carl nodded, "It's nice…at least you have a mattress here." He blushed as he said it. He heard Enid shut the door behind him.

"So…" Carl continued, "What should we do?" he asked. He pulled back the blind a few inches to look at the house. He could see a few figures moving around through the windows.

Carl felt her hand on his shoulder and turned around to face her. She was so close to him her chest touched his. She slid her hand from his shoulder and stopped over his heart. She looked up at him through long dark eyelashes. Her eyes glanced at the bed for a moment and then moved over his face.

"I…" Enid started, she was blushing furiously. Her face reddening up into her hair.

Carl felt like the condom was burning a hole in his pocket. He wouldn't use it, he couldn't. He didn't want to give Negan the satisfaction. He squeezed her hand gently, "We don't have to do anything…"

He couldn't help but think of Negan and his wives. How they seemed so terrified of him. How they were with him out of fear. He never wanted Enid to feel that way.

Enid brushed the hair away from the bandage that covered his missing eye, her fingers lightly tracing the scarred skin down the side of his face. Her touch sent a shock of electricity through him, his skin tingling. He closed his one eye, and inhaled deeply trying to calm down the growing erection that was starting to press on his jeans. Her finger tips touched his lips. His mouth parted, his breathing ragged.

"I want to if you do." She whispered.

Carl's eye flew open to look at her face. Her eyes were shining and determined. Blood pounding in his ears he crushed her mouth to his, kissing her with a kind of desperate hunger. Her hands pushed his checkered shirt off his shoulders and it fell softly to the floor. Carl grabbed the hem of her tank top and lifted it up, her arms rising and their lips parting long enough for him to pull it off of her.

Carl took a step towards her and her knees hit the edge of the bed. She fell backwards and pulled him down on top of her. His hands grasped her breasts, his mouth trailing kisses down her neck and between her breasts. She had on a navy blue bra, the lace on the edges was slightly frayed.

His erection was becoming painful as it pressed against the confines of his jeans. Her thighs pressed against either side of his hips as she wrapped her legs around him. He pressed his hips against hers and she gasped a little.

Her fingers tugged at the bottom of his t-shirt and he felt it rising up over his back until it wouldn't go any further. He pushed himself up and used one hand to pull it over his head and off. He threw it down next to the bed.

Her skin was hot against his. She pulled his face down and kissed up his neck to his ear. Her teeth gently pulled at his ear lobe and he heard himself groan deeply.

He gasped as he felt her fingers at the waistband of his jeans. She undid them in a moment and he pushed himself up to work on undressing her. He undid the button of her jeans and she shimmied herself out of then, pushing her shoes and socks off.

Carl stared for a moment, Enid in nothing but her navy bra and light purple underwear. Carl sat up to look at her, his mouth curling into a small smile.

Enid pulled a pillow down to cover herself, "What?"

"No," Carl whispered, "don't hide from me."

Her hand went up to cover her face, "Sorry, I just…you make me nervous."

Carl's hand went to his face, "Oh."

Enid let out a sigh, "Not because of that. I just don't know how to be…undressed in front of you."

Carl smiled, "You don't have to be nervous. You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

Her eyes softened. Carl pulled the pillow away from her slowly but realized she was probably still self-conscious, just like he was.

"Here," he said moving off of her, "why don't you get under the blankets."

She nodded and rolled over to move herself under the covers. Carl pulled off his jeans and removed his socks and shoes as he did so. He turned back and slid in next to Enid, the heavy quilt covering them.

They lay next to each other on their sides, Carl was focusing on his breathing. His erection was throbbing, now free of his jeans, only his boxers remained.

He traced his fingers along her collarbone and over her shoulder blade and down to the clasp that held together her bra. Enid was patient, it took Carl two or three tries to get it free. She turned slowly onto her back as he pulled down each strap. He grabbed the lacy fabric and pulled it slowly from her body.

Her small breasts were flushed, her nipples hard. His hands were calloused so he tried to be as gentle as possible. He brushed his finger-tips ever so lightly over her nipples. Her eyes closed and her head pushed back into the pillows. Goosebumps appeared over her chest and stomach. Her breathing was deepening as her back arched against his touch. He lowered his mouth and captured one of her breasts in his mouth. He gently fondled and pinched her breast as he sucked on the other. She gasped quietly as his teeth ever so gently nipped at her.

Carl let his other hand trace down her stomach past the slight roundness of her stomach until he felt the elastic of her underwear. He pushed his fingers underneath and found her secret place. She was hot and slick. Her mouth sighing as he moved his fingers over her.

"Oh…" he heard her whisper hot in his ear as he gently moved his fingers in small circles over her. He was finding it hard to multi task and had to focus all his attention on touching her down there. His middle finger found her wet opening and slowly slid his finger inside. She was just as tight as before, her walls clamping down around his finger.

She gasped as his finger slid in and out of her slowly. He continued to rub circles on her with his thumb, her hips starting to rock with his hand.

"Can I take them off?" Carl whispered in her ear.

She nodded, her eyes still closed. Carl moved over top of her and knelt between her knees; the quilt over his back. His hands grabbed either side of her underwear and she lifted her hips slightly so he could pull them off. He pulled them down her thighs, over her knees, over her ankles.

He heard himself groan loudly as he looked at her. She was completely uncovered now, her chest rising and falling rapidly. Her eyes looked at him, shining and nervous. He could smell her and it made his head feel fuzzy, she was like a drug to him.

He leaned down and softly kissed her stomach.

"Carl…" she whimpered.

He moved his hand back to her, sliding his finger in and out, now there was nothing in his way and he could watch what he was doing. He could barely focus and tried to breathe deeply so he wouldn't explode.

He added another finger and she quietly gasped, her teeth pressing down on her lip. Her walls clenched down on them and he could feel her legs starting to tremble. He remembered what she had done to him in the cabin on the side of the road. How she had used her mouth and he was suddenly overcome with the desire to do the same to her.

He kissed her lower, moving down her stomach, over her hips, his fingers still stretching her.

"Carl I don't…" she said suddenly.

Carl looked back up at her. He could tell she was struggling, her brain getting in the way. He didn't wait for her answer, he kissed her folds and she gasped loudly. Carl smiled a little. He kissed her again, her legs shaking more.

"Just tell me to stop if you want me to…"

She couldn't look at him, "I…don't stop."

" _Fucking awesome,"_ he thought proudly.

He used his thumb to part her folds and kissed her again and again. He introduced his tongue and she let out a loud gasp.

"Oh!"

She tasted amazing, unlike anything he'd ever experienced. He swirled his tongue around and around, he could see her hands grasping the bed sheets. One of her hands moved into his hair as he moved his fingers faster and faster. She was panting now, her hips bucking slightly up and down with his movements.

"Oh…Carl…oh my God…yes!"

He felt her walls clench and contract, and her legs gave a shudder. He kissed the inside of her thighs but kept his fingers inside of her. He wished it could be him inside of her, stretching her for the first time.

Enid was quiet, her breath slowing. "You OK?" he asked as he slowly pulled his fingers out of her.

She sat up and kissed him hard, her arm wrapping itself around his neck, her breasts pressing on his chest. Carl gasped as he felt her hand wrap around his cock under his boxers. Her hand firmly sliding up and down.

He clenched his eye shut, he had to think of walkers to keep himself from exploding right then and there.

"Fuck…I, Enid…" he felt his erection grow even more as she moved her hand over him.

"Carl?" she asked hesitantly.

He wasn't sure if he imagined it or not his brain wasn't functioning clearly. His eye was still clenched shut.

"Yeah?"

"I want you."

His eye flew open to look at her face.

"You what?"

Her face was red, "I want us to have sex."

It took Carl a few moments to comprehend what she was saying, "I…really?"

Carl was torn, he hated Negan so much in this moment. Here was his chance and he was going to turn her down just so Negan wouldn't get the upper hand on him. Carl looked over his shoulder at his jeans lying on the floor. He could see the foil condom wrapper sticking slightly out of his pocket.

"What's wrong?" Enid asked, her eyebrows pinched together. "Don't you…don't you want to?" her eyes turned slightly glassy as she searched his face.

Carl let out a long sigh, "Of course I do. I've never wanted anything more in my life but…"

"But what?" her voice cracked slightly.

He didn't want to tell her, didn't want her to know the kind of hold that Negan had on him. "But we don't have…we don't have any…you know, condoms."

She turned even redder, "Actually, I do."

Carl felt like someone had jump started his heart, "You do?"

"I found some yesterday when I went with Maggie to see Dr. Carson."

Carl's heart started pounding, he could barely hear it was so loud in his chest.

She rolled onto her side and pulled a blue box out of the little table. "Here. I thought I'd take some…you know…just in case."

Carl kissed her hard, his hands holding her face to his. She laughed slightly against his mouth.

" _Negan can go fuck himself,"_ thought Carl triumphantly. He looked into her eyes for a long moment.

"Are you sure?"

She nodded.

Carl kissed her lips and then laid down on the bed beside her. He had a vague idea of how to put on a condom but had never practised. He tore the box open at one end and pulled one of the small packages out. Enid waited patiently next to him, one hand on his arm. He pushed his boxers down and off, losing them somewhere under the covers.

It took him a minute or two to get it on, his hands were shaking out of excitement and nervousness. He hoped he'd done it properly. Once he was done he turned and pulled her into his chest, he kissed her face, her forehead, her eye lids and finally her lips.

"Are you ready?" he whispered.

"Yes."

Carl pushed himself on top of her and settled between her legs. He positioned himself at her entrance and as slowly as he could pushed himself inside her.

Enid's head flew back, her eyes clamping shut. Carl trembled at the feeling of just having the tip of his cock inside her. He didn't want to hurt her but this felt too good and he wanted to feel more. She was so tight and wet around him.

He pushed himself further and felt her muscles give way as he went deeper.

"Oh…" Enid gasped. A tear escaped from the corner of her eye and ran down her cheek. He kissed it away.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. He hadn't wanted to hurt her.

"No, it's OK. It's fine. Just…don't move for a minute…"

Enid was letting out long slow breaths, her hands moving up and down his back slowly. Carl was ready to lose himself already but knew he had to hold it together. It couldn't be over that quickly. He needed to let her have a minute to adjust to the feeling of him inside of her. He distracted himself by kissing her forehead, her face, her neck.

"OK," she whispered softly.

Carl pulled out a bit and back in. Nothing could have prepared him for this. It was amazing, he couldn't describe or comprehend how good this felt. Why would anyone ever not want to be doing this?

Enid's hands moved to his chest, her eyes looking up at him, her breathing becoming faster.

"You alright?" he asked her.

She nodded, "It doesn't hurt anymore. Just keep going slow…"

He thrusted as slowly as he could setting a gentle pace for them both, and that was enough for him. Everything about her was pleasurable. The way her skin stuck to his, the way her fingers clenched on his arms and back as he moved in and out of her. The way her eyes connected with his as she gasped out loud.

He couldn't help it, he started to move a little faster. She let a small moan escape her swollen lips.

"Am I hurting you?" he asked concerned.

"No" she whispered.

"This is…you're…" he stammered, "Amazing…it's amazing."

He pushed inside her deeper than before and the world fell away. Carl was completely lost to feeling and sensation. There was only her and him and the world was gone. The sounds coming from his throat he couldn't even recognize. He could feel the pressure building inside and knew he couldn't hold it back for much longer. He knew it would be over soon.

Carl knew it was selfish but he was giving into his own need now. He thrust faster and deeper into her. He worried he was hurting her again but she put her hands on his hips and pulled him into her and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

Carl lowered himself onto his forearms on either side of her face as he thrust in and out of her. She raised her mouth to kiss him, their tongues massaging each other as they moved. He could hear her small moans between their kisses and then it was too much. He was coming hard and fast, his rhythm faltering as he emptied himself inside her.

He buried his face in the crook of her neck, her hair tickling his face. For several minutes they just lay there together, him still inside her. He felt her hand gently work its way through his hair.

"Carl are you alright?" she asked quietly.

He nodded, "I've never felt better." He slowly pulled out and gently rolled onto his side next to her. He disposed of the condom and pulled her against him, her head resting on his chest.

A few minutes passed in silence. The breeze outside rustled some wind chimes in the distance. Carl stroked her dark hair as their breathing synchronized.

"Carl?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad it was you."

Carl kissed her forehead gently, "I'm glad it was you too."

Enid pushed herself up onto her elbow, "We should probably get dressed. They might come looking for us. This might be an awkward thing to explain."

He nodded. He kissed her again and then they both stood up to retrieve their haphazardly thrown clothes from around the room. Enid was still trying to locate her shirt and Carl was pulling his socks on when they heard the trailer door open.

"Carl? Enid?"

It was Sasha's voice.

"Shit…" Carl muttered, he grabbed his boots and his hat and opened the door as Enid was pulling her tank top over her freckled stomach.

Sasha was standing next to the door and her expression changed from surprise to chuckling to serious in about a two second time span.

"Uh…what are you two doing?"

"Nothing…" they both said together. Carl looked at his bootless feet and felt his face go red. Enid was looking at the wall.

Sasha raised her eyebrows, "Well, let's go."

Carl quickly pulled his boots on and grabbed his hat pushing it down over his hair.

Enid moved past Sasha and out the door into the sunlight. Carl went to follow her but was stopped by Sasha's hand on his shoulder.

"Carl…"

"…yeah?"

She looked him up and down and finally smirked, "Your fly's open."


	10. Chapter 10

*Author's Note*: Thank you everyone for your amazing support of this story. While I do write for myself and my love of these characters, I am 98% fueled by your appreciation and support so please keep leaving me your reviews. I am already experiencing MASSIVE withdrawal from the show and it hasn't even been a week!

Chapter 10:

Carl made his way around the long, dark wood dining table in one of the many grand rooms of Barrington House. He was setting out plates and cutlery for everyone. He was horribly reminded of the worst dinner party ever as Negan had sat at the head of the table with Lucille. He thought about Judith and hoped she was OK back home.

Enid pushed through the door with napkins and a butter dish. She leaned over the table placing the dish in the middle. She smirked coyly at Carl in the dim light of the dining room. He hadn't seen her since Sasha had come to get them from the trailer. Sasha had whisked her away to help Maggie and Rosita in the kitchen while Carl had been pulled away to help take stock of the Hilltops weapons stash.

He had felt different. He wasn't sure why or how but almost like he expected his dad to be able to tell what he and Enid had done. That he wasn't a virgin anymore, like it would be written across his forehead.

Rick, Daryl and himself had followed Jesus out into the woods to a small metal shed. While the Hilltops inventory wasn't overly impressive, it was more than they had at Alexandria at the moment. Carl hadn't been able to focus much on what they had been talking about, his mind still trying to process what had happened only half an hour earlier. His dad though had seemed completely oblivious, talking to him like nothing had happened.

Carl dropped a knife onto a plate with a loud clatter. Enid laughed, covering her mouth with her hand.

"What's so funny?" he asked playfully raising his eyebrow.

She shrugged her shoulders, "Nothing…"

Enid made her way around the table distributing napkins until she sidled up behind him, her chest pressing against his back.

Carl took a deep breath, "How…how are you?"

She rested her chin on his shoulder, "I'm fine. Why?"

"I just wanted to make sure you're OK."

Her hand came down to rest on his waist, "Why wouldn't I be?"

He felt her chin go up and down with his shoulders as he shrugged. He turned to face her, "I'm worried you might be regretting it."

She shook her head, "Not at all," her brow furrowed, "Are you?"

"No!" he said a little too loudly. Enid smiled. "No, I don't at all." He said a little quieter. "But do you…do you feel…different?"

She blushed, "Kind of, I feel like people should be able to smell it on me. That I must look different, but I don't."

"Same. It's…weird."

She nodded and chewed on her lip for a moment, "Sasha was giving me funny looks when I saw her. I think she knows something happened but at least she's keeping it to herself. She owes me a secret after all."

She looked down as her fingers found the spaces between his, entwining their hands. Carl wasn't sure what she meant by Sasha owing her a secret but if it meant her not ratting them out then all the better.

"So," she said quietly, "Maggie told me you're all staying the night." She flicked her eyes up at him.

Carl swallowed hard, "Yeah…"

"Are you staying in the house?"

He nodded, his forehead leaning forward to rest on hers. "They put me in the room at the end of the second floor."

"Are you sharing with anyone?" she whispered.

"…No"

"Maggie that smells amazing! They should be done setting the table now. I'll call everyone in."

Tara's voice rang out down the hall and Enid jumped away from Carl just in time before she pushed open the door to the dining room.

"You guys do it?" she said from the doorway.

Enid and Carl looked at each other guiltily and then both shouted, "What?"

Tara raised her eyebrow, "Set the table. You done?"

"Oh!" Carl said, his heart hammering, "Yeah we're just finishing up now."

"Great, I'm starving!" Tara said pressing her hand to her stomach. She disappeared out of the door.

Enid laughed again, her voice like music. Carl couldn't help but join in.

"Who the hell are you two?"

Carl and Enid both looked up at the same time. An older gray haired man was standing in the open doorway. He was well dressed but was scowling at them, his hands on his hips.

"Who the hell are you?" Carl fired back.

The man stepped into the room, his face eyeing the two of them and the set table. Carl immediately disliked him.

"How dare you speak to me in that impertinent tone!" he shouted.

"Is there a problem Gregory?"

Maggie appeared behind the man and Carl could see him immediately shrivel under her gaze.

"I'm not running a charity for lost orphans Maggie. What are they doing here?" he said pointing his finger at them.

Maggie pulled her knife from her pocket. She lowered her eyes as she twisted it around in her hands.

"I think you should leave before you say anything else that you might regret."

Her eyes shot back up at him. Carl could've sworn he saw fire blaze behind her eyes. If looks could kill, this Gregory guy would've exploded into a thousand fiery pieces.

He gave a great huff and giving Carl and Enid a long look, exiting the room quickly.

Maggie put her knife back into her pocket, "Sorry about him."

"Who is that guy anyways?" Carl asked.

Enid turned to him, "Gregory. He's the supposed leader of the Hilltop. However I'm personally leading the Maggie for President Campaign tour." Her face shining as she smiled.

Maggie smiled at them both. As everyone else started to trickle in. Carl took a seat at the table, Enid sitting down beside Maggie across from him.

Carl hadn't eaten so well in weeks. As everyone around him finished he was helping himself to third helpings of chili and homemade garlic bread.

"Carl, you'll give yourself a stomach ache," Michonne said with a smile.

He paused, his spoon halfway to his mouth, "Sorry, it's too good."

"It really was delicious Maggie," Rick said giving her a smile from the end of the table.

"It's been nice to cook with fresh vegetables. I've missed that." She said.

Carl was finishing his last couple of spoonfuls when he felt it. Something was rubbing against his inner thigh. He looked down to see a sock covered foot ever so gently pushing itself along the inside of his leg.

He tried to swallow but was too distracted and choked a little. He looked across the table as he coughed and spluttered to see Enid's devilishly radiant face, the smallest smirk curling her lips.

Michonne slapped Carl on the back, "You OK?"

He reached forward and grabbed his glass of water completely draining it. He nodded at Michonne, "Yeah" he squeaked, "went down the wrong tube."

Enid hadn't looked away. Her foot sliding further up his leg. Carl's eye widened at her sheer nerve. He looked at her as if to say, _"Are you crazy? Our whole family is here!"_

She didn't stop though, her composure completely unchanged, her foot slid further up and rubbed against his cock.

He couldn't help but let out a sharp breath as his blood started racing, his erection growing is just a few seconds.

"You sure you're OK?" Rick asked leaning forward.

"Oh…uh…yeah…I think Michonne was right…I ate too much…"

Her foot slid up and down over him, his jeans pinching him hard. He was completely overwhelmed, half of him trying to keep a straight face so as not to give them away and the other half wanting to strip her down right there in the dining room and fuck her into oblivion.

He could only vaguely make out the conversations going on around him. His brain definitely did not have enough blood supply to multitask at this moment. Carl couldn't focus, he kept thinking of Enid's face, her naked body, the sound of her voice as she moaned his name…

Carl felt her other foot join in and he accidentally let out a loud moan.

He suddenly realized everyone at the table was staring at him. He quickly covered his face, pushing the heels of his hands against his temples.

"Is it the headaches again?" Michonne asked him with motherly concern.

Carl couldn't speak, Enid's feet had sped up so he just nodded his head sharply.

"Dr. Carson I'm sure would be happy to give you some painkillers. I'll ask him for you." Jesus said as he moved to stand up.

Carl took a few deep breaths. He thought hard about bloated walkers and emerged from behind his hands.

"No, it's gone. I'm fine."

Carl looked across the table at Enid. She had to raise her hand to cover the smug smile that covered her face. He could tell she was trying her hardest not to laugh.

"Enid," Maggie said suddenly.

Enid's smile was gone in an instant, and so were her feet. Carl immediately felt a combination of relief and frustration.

"Help me take the dishes back into the kitchen?" Maggie asked.

Enid nodded and then gave Carl a sly smile as she stood up from the table.

"Sure Maggie."

Carl narrowed his eye at her. She went around the table making a pile of plates as Maggie collected the dirty cutlery when Carl thought of his plan.

" _I'm so going to get her back for that…"_

After a few deep breaths and sure he wouldn't expose his erection Carl stood up.

"Maggie, you sit. I'll help Enid with the dishes. After all, you cooked."

Enid looked slightly nervous as he leaned over the table to grab half the pile of dishes. Her smile faltered slightly as he grinned wickedly.

"Thanks Carl, my feet are killing me…" Maggie said leaning back in her chair.

Carl jutted his chin towards the kitchen and Enid slowly started to lead the way. As they pushed through the dining room door Carl leaned over to whisper in her ear.

"You are in so much trouble…"


	11. Chapter 11

*Author's Note* Two chapters in two days? That's crazy talk! Enjoy

Chapter 11:

Carl followed Enid down the long dark hallway towards the kitchen. She peeked back over her shoulder at him, her eyes nervous and shining. She stopped as they came upon the doorway.

"What's the matter?" Carl jested.

She turned to him, her arms still full of dirty plates, "Carl, I'm sorry…"

" _Yeah you're going to be sorry…"_ he thought. "You don't have to apologize. Come on."

He pushed open the door and headed towards the sink. He plunked down the piles of dishes on the counter and felt Enid slowly sidle up next to him to put her pile down.

"You wash and I'll dry?" Carl asked.

Enid narrowed her eyes at him, "What are you doing?"

"Just trying to clean up the dishes. You going to help me or not?"

She slowly turned away from him towards the sink. She turned the faucet on allowing the sink to fill up with hot soapy water. Carl grabbed a nearby dishtowel and stood behind her as she dumped some of the plates into the water. Enid pulled on a pair of large yellow rubber gloves and plunged her hands into the water.

They worked side by side for a few minutes; Carl making a point of avoiding Enid's many sidelong glances. They could hear the conversation and laughter coming from the dining room down the hall.

As Enid scrubbed a particularly stubborn chili stain, Carl moved behind her. He softly brushed her hair over her shoulder to expose her long neck.

"Carl what are you…"

But then he was kissing her gently behind the ear and her words died in her mouth. He moved his mouth lower down her neck and although he couldn't see her face he felt her head move to the side a little. He heard her sigh as he pulled down the strap of her tank top to expose her shoulder. And then suddenly stopped.

Carl stepped closer to the sink and started drying one of the wet plates. He could see her flushed, flustered face in the dark reflection of the kitchen window.

She cleared her throat and used her gloved hand to pull her strap back up.

"OK point made."

" _Yeah, you think that"_ he thought smiling.

They continued working in silence. Enid shifted her weight from side to side as she periodically glanced up at him. He kept his eyes focused though so as not to give anything away.

After a particularly loud cheer of laughter echoed down the long hall Enid turned to look at the door. Carl took her moment of distraction to firmly grasp her waist from behind. His hands, cold from drying wet dishes, snaked themselves under the hem of her shirt. He pulled himself right up against her, trapping her between him and the counter.

"Carl!" she started but he was kissing her neck again and she couldn't get the words out.

He quickly undid her pants and while he kissed the side of her throat he slid his right hand beneath her underwear.

" _Fuck she's already so wet,"_ he thought as he smiled proudly to himself.

She gasped loudly as his fingers stroked her over and over. He felt her head lean back to rest against his shoulder. He looked forward to see her reflection in the window. Her eyes were closed, her teeth biting her bottom lip.

He could feel his own erection straining against his pants. He was sure she could feel it as he pressed himself against her but this wasn't about him. It was about her and leaving her as frustrated as he had been.

She moaned against his ear, her breath hot. He looked down and could see just under her shirt as her breasts moved up and down with her breathing. His flicked and circled his fingers faster and faster as she let little hitching gasps escape her lips.

He looked at her reflection again and his resolve faltered. She looked so unbelievably sexy in this moment. Completely at his mercy. He wasn't sure he could stop what he was doing to her even if he wanted to. This was going to be hard.

He felt her glove covered hand reach back to grasp his neck as she moaned even louder. As turned on as he was, he didn't want anyone to catch them, and she was starting to lose control of herself.

"Maybe I should stop," Carl whispered, "You're going to get us caught."

Carl watched her reflection as her eyes flew open. He pulled his hand back up to her waist.

"No don't stop!" she breathed.

She spun around to face him, her face and chest flushed, her eyes glassy.

"Serves you right for earlier," Carl said smugly. He brushed away a few long strands of dark hair resting his palm against her hot cheek. She looked up at him and Carl immediately felt bad, her eyes stared at him with a kind of wild desperation.

He brushed his thumb gently over her lips. Her lips parted and goosebumps appeared on her chest. She quickly pulled off her rubber gloves and placed her palm over his hand. She looked up through long dark lashes at his face as her lips closed around his thumb, her tongue swirling around as she moved it in and out of her hot mouth. Carl let out a loud shuddering breath his eye clamping shut.

Enid moved her mouth onto his index finger and then his middle finger, her lips and tongue tortuously sucking on them.

"Fuck…" Carl whispered. He slowly opened his eye to find her watching his face. He was so hard already, it was all he could do to keep from ripping her clothes off right there in the kitchen.

He placed his hand behind her neck, "You drive me so crazy."

He kissed her hard pushing her against the kitchen counter top. Her back bent back as he leaned into her, her hips pressing against him and his aching erection. Her hands grabbed the pockets of his jeans, keeping him against her.

Carl grabbed both sides of her waist and lifted her up to sit on the counter. She opened her legs for him to push in closer to her. He ground his erection against her as her teeth pulled on his lower lip. His left hand found its way under her shirt and up to her breast, her nipple covered in lace was hard. Her hand covered his as he massaged her breast.

Carl decided what he wanted more than his revenge was to get her off again, right here. He reached down between her legs again, his fingertips gently moving over her soft wet folds. He found her opening and plunged two fingers deep inside.

"Oh!" Enid cried out her fingers digging into Carl's arm.

"Shhhhhh…" he whispered looking quickly over his shoulder at the door.

Her arms wound their way around his neck her forehead leaning forehead to rest against his. He could tell she was trying to be quiet, the tip of her nose rubbing gently against his. He worked his fingers faster as his lips captured hers. Her tongue roaming hungrily against his.

His thumb rubbed against her most sensitive spot as he thrust his fingers deeper and deeper. Her muscles contracting. She pulled away from his kiss just an inch.

"Oh God…don't stop…please! You're going to make me…" she whispered desperately.

Carl felt her walls clamp and contract down on his fingers hard as her head flew back. She dug her nails into his shoulder as she came. A loud crash of breaking china forced Carl's eye away from Enid's euphoric face. She had half a plate in her hand, the shards splintered over the counter. She must have broken it as she climaxed.

"Shit! They'll have heard that for sure." He said as he removed his hands from her body. Enid was already doing up her jeans and hopped off the counter. She stumbled slightly her head still dizzy from a moment ago.

Sure enough Carl heard footsteps coming quickly down the hallway. Carl quickly grabbed the dish towel and picked up on of the plates in the sink. Michonne opened the door, her hand over her head grasping her katana.

"You two OK in here?" she asked.

"Yeah sorry," he said calmly, "Enid dropped one of the plates."

Michonne looked to see the broken pieces scattered over the counter. Her hand dropped down and her face relaxed.

"Oh OK," she started towards them, "you want some help?"

Enid shook her head, "No it's OK, and I think we're almost done anyways."

Michonne looked back and forth between Carl and Enid a few times. She nodded, smiled and then quietly left the kitchen, the door swinging behind her.

When they were sure Michonne had made it back to the dining room they both started laughing. Enid playfully punched Carl in the chest.

"You are going to get us into some serious trouble," she said her face beaming.

"Me?" he scoffed, "Who's the one feeling me up at the dinner table in front of everyone?"

She blushed, "I don't know what came over me. You make me want to do crazy things."

Carl felt like his chest was being inflated like a balloon. They quickly finished the dishes and Carl helped Enid sweep the broken porcelain into a plastic container by the garbage.

"I feel like we should try to be more careful, anyone could have just walked in on us." Enid said as she pushed open the kitchen door to walk down the dark hallways back towards the dining room.

"So what if they had? What could they possibly say?" Carl asked her. "I mean," Carl lowered his voice, "It's not like we're doing anything wrong. Right?"

"No, but they all still think we're just kids. I think it's more like, they would disapprove…"

"You mean my parents would disapprove." Carl said stopping just outside the dining room door.

Enid frowned, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, who would disapprove of you? Can't you just do whatever you want? Your parents are gone."

The moment the words left his mouth he regretted them. Enid's face suddenly darkened, her eyes filling with tears. She pushed her hands into Carl's chest catching him off guard. He fell back into the wall of the narrow hallway.

"I would give ANYTHING to have my parents back, even if it WAS to disapprove of me doing something SO STUPID!"

"Enid, I didn't mean…" Carl started reaching for her face.

"NO!" she slapped his hand away sharply. She pushed open the dining room door with a crash. Everyone was looking at them but Enid didn't care. She ran past everyone and out the front door of the house into the night.

Maggie quickly stood up, "Carl what did you say to her?"

He didn't even know how to defend himself. He realized he couldn't, "I…I…uh…"

Maggie narrowed her eyes at Carl for a moment and ran out of the room after Enid.

Carl felt the heat rise up his chest onto his face as everyone turned to look at him. He felt completely awful, like he was the worst person. _"How could you even think of saying that to her?"_ he thought angrily. _"You weren't thinking, that's the problem."_

Carl met his dad's gaze and knew he needed to get out of there. He awkwardly skirted around the table, everyone's eyes on him to make his escape out the front door.

The crickets were chirping and the stars were shining out overhead. The cool night breeze helped relax his face. He couldn't see Enid or Maggie anywhere. He expected she had gone back to her trailer. Carl sat down on the front steps of Barrington House. He sat there for a long time hating himself. He wondered if Enid would ever forgive him.

He was staring at his hands, the light from the front porch casting long shadows over the lawn making him look like a giant. He heard the front door open and shut and Carl felt his dad sit down next to him on the front steps.

"So you and Enid huh?" Rick asked.

Carl smiled sadly, "Yeah…at least we were. I think I screwed everything up."

"I don't know about that, I'm sure whatever happened, if you apologize and give her some time…she'll come around." Rick said reassuringly.

Carl didn't respond. He wasn't sure an apology would solve this.

"So…" he started hesitantly, "How serious is it? I mean, between you two?"

Carl looked out over the dark lawn of the Hilltop feeling the breeze whisper through his hair.

"I love her."

He turned to look at his dad. His face had changed so much since before everything had happened. He looked so much older but at this moment it was like the world was right again. He was actually smiling.

"And does she…?" Rick started to ask.

Carl felt his heart pinching at the thought of her, "Does she love me back? Yeah…or at least she did. Until I was a complete idiot."

Carl felt his dad's hand rest lightly on his shoulder.

"You'll make it right. I'm happy for you. Really."

"Thanks Dad."

"I, uh…" Rick cleared his throat and his hand fidgeted slightly with the hilt of his knife. "It's probably time to have the uh…the talk then…"

Carl's head turned sharply to look at his dad. First Negan and now his dad? Rick looked slightly uncomfortable but not even close to how uncomfortale Carl felt in this moment.

"God no…no…it's OK…I mean…" he stammered, "I know how to do it. I mean…" _"Fuck…"_

Rick let out a long breath, "Listen, you're a man now and if you and Enid are going to be serious about each other, you need to be responsible."

Carl wanted to curl up in a ball and die at the thought of this conversation continuing. His dad didn't stop though.

"Do you know how," he let out a long breath, "how sex actually works?"

Carl felt like his face was on fire, he was sure he was the colour purple at this point. He couldn't even look at his dad, "Yes dad, I know how everything happens." He said quietly.

Rick nodded, "So you know how things are supposed to work but do you know how to be safe about it?"

Carl felt his neck start to burn as the blood rushed to his head, "Yeah I know about…oh God…protection and all that Dad." _"Kill me now…"_

"Oh…well good." Rick said taking in a deep breath, "Who…umm…who told you about all that?"

"I read a book about it at the prison and Glenn kind of told me about…using protection. I'm a good listener, all you had to do was hang out with Abraham for a day and you'd know pretty much everything you'd need to know."

His chest pinched at the thought of Glenn and Abraham and he fought back the tears that threatened to spill from his eye. He felt his dad squeeze his shoulder hard.

"We'll make it right…for them. For us."

Carl nodded and sniffed loudly through his nose.

"So listen," his dad started again, his voice serious. "I think the both of you are still too young to be…you know…but, I understand with the way the world is…things aren't the same. If you do decide to have sex, just be smart about it."

" _Way ahead of you dad."_ He thought.

Carl stood up, brushed off his jeans and started down the steps towards the lawn.

"Where are you going?" his dad asked him.

"I'm just going to take a walk around. Don't worry, I'll stay inside the walls."

He took a few steps before his dad called out to him, "Uh…Carl? Is this yours?"

Carl turned around to see his dad holding a small foil package. He stuffed his hand in his pocket but the condom was gone. It must have fallen out of his jeans when he stood up. He looked at his dad. He couldn't do anything but stand there, his face completely guilty, and his mouth hanging open.

Rick frowned slightly at the package and then shrugged his shoulders, "Well…at least you're being safe right? Catch…"

Rick tossed the small package at him. Carl grasped at the air while the condom fell to the ground. He quickly stooped down and stuffed it back into his pocket.

" _Depth perception, you're a bitch…"_ Carl thought angrily as he walked away from his dad into the darkness.


	12. Chapter 12

*Author's Note* FYI There is a change in P.O.V. for at least this and the next chapter.

Chapter 12:

The tears were finally coming to a stop as Enid lay on her bed, the sheets were still muddled and tossed from when Carl had been there. The sheets smelled like him, like pine wood and some kind of spice, cinnamon or nutmeg, she wasn't sure. She pushed herself up off the mattress trying to get away from his smell. She tossed her pillow across the room and it hit her door with a soft thump.

"Enid?"

It was Maggie's voice, she must have followed her here from the house. Enid didn't answer her, she wasn't sure she wanted to talk to Maggie about this.

"Enid…are you OK?" she asked again.

Enid felt like her whole face was swollen. She wiped the tears that stained her cheeks and pulled her knees into her chest, wrapping her arms around them.

"Maggie just leave me alone please…" she said quietly.

There was silence for a few moments and Enid was almost sure that Maggie had left until she spoke again.

"I could make you some hot chocolate?"

" _Damn…she knows my weakness…"_ Enid thought. She stood up and took the few steps to her door. She turned the plastic door knob and opened it slowly. Maggie was standing there, a concerned smile on her face, her eyes soft and kind.

"Could you make it with two packets?" she asked quietly resting the side of her swollen face on the door frame.

Maggie smiled, "Only if you come out of there and tell me what happened."

Enid didn't really want to talk, but she also really wanted the hot chocolate. She knew Maggie's intentions were only good. She nodded and opened the door the rest of the way. Maggie backed up and headed towards their tiny kitchen. She filled the kettle and turned on the gas hot plate. When it was full of water she placed it on the burner and grabbed two packets of hot chocolate from a cupboard over the sink.

"Which mug do you want?" she asked. "World's Best Teacher or #1 Grandpa?"

Enid couldn't help but smile a little, "Green is my favourite colour so I'll have to say #1 Grandpa".

Maggie tore open the packages and dumped the brown powder in. She took a seat at the small kitchen table and gestured for Enid to join her while the water boiled.

Enid sat down, her hands clasped together on the small table.

"So…" started Maggie, "you going to tell me what happened with Carl?"

Enid didn't even know where to begin. What could she even really say? Honestly what Carl had said had been true…her parents were gone. She COULD do whatever she wanted. It's how she used to climb the walls to be outside in the forest, it's how she ended up with Glenn during the walker attack, and it's how she had ended up at Hilltop.

"He said something…it's stupid…" she said looking at her hands.

Maggie frowned, "If it hurt your feelings then it's certainly NOT stupid."

Enid looked up, "He said…basically…that I can do whatever I want, because my parents are gone."

Maggie sat back in her chair. She let out a sigh, "Yeah I can see why that would upset you." She reached forward and placed her hand on Enid's. "Listen, you've never told me what happened to you before you got to Alexandria, never said a word to me about your parents and I'm going to assume you haven't told anyone else either?"

Enid didn't say anything, she just looked back down at her hand covered by Maggie's.

"It's too hard to talk about it…" she whispered.

"It's not supposed to be easy. It hurts, trust me…I know. Your parents might be gone but what they wanted for you is still here. They wanted you to survive. Not just survive but live, and you're doing that. You're keeping them alive through you."

She didn't respond, she suddenly could hear her mom and dad's voices as they sang funny songs in the car or when they had picked her up from school. It felt like ages ago.

"I don't think it was Carl's intention to hurt you…" said Maggie kindly.

Enid nodded, "I know it wasn't…but it did."

The kettle started whistling from the burner. Maggie stood up and poured the boiling water from the kettle into the Green Grandpa mug. She clinked a spoon around a few times mixing the powder fully. She returned to the table and placed the steaming mug of chocolate down in front of Enid.

She grabbed it with both hands warming them against the hot ceramic.

"You know, Glenn and I didn't always agree on things, but we would talk about it and work it out."

Enid blew the steam away from the top of the mug. She raised her eyebrow at Maggie, "Oh come on, you two were perfect together."

Maggie smiled sadly, "Not always. We disagreed on a lot actually, probably more than what we agreed on. I'm very stubborn you see…"

Enid raised the mug to her lips and took a small sip. The hot chocolate burned her tongue a bit but it tasted amazing.

"When you love someone, you love all of them. Even their faults. And I'm not saying that you should just lay down and let someone walk all over you, no, you have to stand up for yourself, but you also have to let that person know how and why they upset you. Or they'll never learn."

Enid was quiet for a long time.

"Do you love him?"

She did, she really did. She nodded slowly. "Is that why it hurts so much?"

Maggie sighed, "Yes. It wouldn't hurt if we didn't care."

Enid took another sip of her hot chocolate. "Thanks Maggie, this is really good."

Maggie patted Enid's hand. "About Carl…I've known him for a long time. He's had to do things…been through things that even I can't fathom and as a kid no less. He's had to become an adult too young. Both of you have. I'm sure it's confusing. That being said, I've seen the way he looks at you. I have to admit, it's one of the most adorable things I've seen in a long time. I'm sure he feels terrible about what happened."

"I know," Enid started, "I'm just not sure I'm ready to forgive him yet."

Suddenly there was a knock on the trailer door.

"Enid?" Carl's voice was muffled through the door.

Maggie gestured to the door but Enid shook her head and quickly walked over to her bedroom door. Enid pulled her door halfway closed so that Carl wouldn't see her from the steps.

Maggie stood up and pulled open the trailer door.

"Oh…hey Maggie. Um, is Enid here?" he asked.

"Yes, but I don't think she wants to see you right now Carl."

"Oh…"

Enid felt a sharp ache in her heart at the sound of his disappointment.

"Maybe tomorrow morning would be a better time to talk to her?" Maggie suggested.

"Yeah…yeah OK…sure. Good night Maggie."

"Good night Carl."

"Oh, could you do something for me?" he asked. "Could you give her this for me?" Enid couldn't see what it was without coming out from behind her door.

"Tell her I'm sorry."

Maggie was quiet for a moment, "Sure Carl…of course."

Maggie closed the door and Enid came out. She took a few steps towards Maggie to find her holding a single white Cherokee rose. She handed it out to her and Enid reached forward. She pinched the delicate stem between her fingers, the five soft white petals fluttering as she brought it to her chest. Enid smiled as she looked down at the beautiful flower.

"Oh Enid…" Maggie laughed, "That boy's got it BAD for you."

Enid was sitting on her bed, propped up against the wall with her pillow. She looked to her left to see the wild white rose that Carl had brought her. Maggie had put it with some water in an old milk bottle. Enid couldn't help but smile to herself. Carl really was sweet, and he obviously felt bad for what he'd said to her.

To be honest, Enid wasn't even mad anymore. It felt pointless these days to hold onto any kind of grudge or anger. After her talk with Maggie, Enid had realized that sometimes boys said dumb things without knowing or meaning to. I mean they were still teenagers. It was weird enough that they were living in a world that needed them to be adults but were still caught in that awkward place of growing up. Besides, she finally realized that she did have at least one parent to look out for her: Maggie.

Maggie and Glenn had been the closest to parents she'd had in over a year. She remembered when she had finally gotten to Alexandria; they had fed her and given her new clothes. How she had been able to shower and sleep without fear. It had made her feel so uncomfortable. She had never felt like she fit in. She always wanted to escape but her promise to her parents had always forced her to come back.

Ron had tried to include her in things. He had even wanted to date her but she had always suspected that he was only interested in her because she had been the only girl around his age. They had had nothing in common. She hadn't cared about him like she had pretended to. He had just been a distraction, a way to pass the time. Enid couldn't help but think of all the Alexandrians as weak.

Then Carl and his family had arrived at Alexandria; broken down, dirty and barely standing. She had been outside the walls when they had come. She had watched them, thinking of how strong they must be to have been able to survive for so long outside of the walls…and with a baby no less. She had spotted the teenage boy in the brown cowboy hat. He must have felt her gaze because he had turned to look her way, their eyes meeting for a just a moment. She'd hid herself immediately.

She had been scared of Carl. Scared because she saw in him what she had always feared in herself. That they were both willing to do whatever it took to survive no matter what that was. Even if it was something terrible. When Carl had been shot she had come to visit him for a little while every day. She remembered just sitting holding his hand as he slept, his face half covered in gauze.

Enid honestly didn't care about Carl's appearance. She thought he was handsome of course but that wasn't really what mattered to her. She knew he was self-conscious about his face but it had never bothered her. There wasn't any part of her that was afraid when she saw it. In fact, she thought it made him look strong, like he would fight to survive anything.

She didn't know how he did it but just being around him made her want to do things she'd never have imagined herself doing. It was slightly terrifying how he made her feel when he touched her. Maybe it was all the hormones, or the constant rush of adrenaline living in this world provided but it was like she couldn't stop herself from touching him; from letting him touch her. She had never felt particularly pretty. Her plain face and long skinny limbs had never made her feel like something boys would notice but there was something about him.

When Carl looked at her she felt beautiful.

Enid got up off her bed and pulled the shade back that was covering her window. Almost all of the lights were out at Barrington House. Except one at the end of the second floor.

" _Carl's still awake…"_ she thought.

She couldn't help herself, she wanted to see him…now.

She slipped on a pair of white sneakers and quietly opened her bedroom door just an inch. Maggie and Sasha were sleeping. She could hear soft snores coming from Maggie's side of the room. She closed her door again and went to the window. She passed her small mirror and realizing what a mess her hair was combed through it quickly.

She had changed into a pair of blue and purple flannel pajamas earlier that evening. She didn't particularly want to get dressed again and figured Carl wouldn't mind anyways. As she examined her reflection in the mirror her eyes caught sight of the little table by her bed; the drawer slightly ajar. She walked over and opened the drawer. There were only two things inside it: Her knife and the box of condoms. She clipped her knife onto the back of her pajama pants and picked up the blue box.

" _You know what'll probably happen if you go up there to see him…"_ she thought. _"You've basically already forgiven him anyways."_

Enid pulled off a couple of the foil packages and put them gently into her pocket. She pushed the window to the side and pulled herself up onto the edge. She swung her legs through the hole and hopped down onto the soft grass. She quietly reached up and slid the window closed again leaving it just open enough if she needed to climb back inside.

She looked across the deserted lawn and saw no one. Luckily the trailer and the back of the house were not particularly in view of the guard posts so she didn't have to be too crafty about sneaking over to the house. Enid's fingers touched the rough red brick as she looked up at the second floor. The light from Carl's room was flickering slightly.

There was a tall lattice interlaced with ivy between the window and the back of the house. She gave a few pulls and decided it was secure enough to climb. It wasn't like she hadn't climbed things like this before. Enid pulled herself up the side of the house quickly, the light becoming brighter as she climbed higher.

With the window ledge just above her she placed her hands on the edge and pulled herself up the final bit. She looked through the window and saw that the light was coming from an old oil lamp on the night stand. Carl was sitting on the floor, his back against the end of the bed reading a book. His bandage was gone, his hair falling in front of his face covering his eye.

" _He looks so sad…"_ she thought.

Enid softly tapped her knuckles against the window. Carl was up so fast, his knife in hand that it almost made her dizzy. When he saw her face through the window though, his expression immediately relaxed. He sheathed his knife as he walked over to the window.

He pulled the window pane up as quietly as possible. "Enid?" he asked, his forehead creasing. "What are you doing here?"

He reached out his long hands to pull her up and help her into the room. Her feet touched the bedroom floor and she stood up dusting herself off.

"I wanted to see you."

He raised his eyebrow at her, "I thought you didn't want to see me."

She shrugged her shoulders, "I changed my mind."

He pulled her into his chest in an instant. His arm wrapping around her waist, the other hand went to her hair cradling her head. She nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck. She inhaled his smell, pinewood and spice. She immediately felt warm, his touch and his smell was intoxicating.

She felt his mouth against her ear.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered.

She gave a little nod, "I know."

She pulled away to look up at his face, he was smiling down at her, his one blue eye shining in the lamplight.

"I was so stupid. Can you forgive me?"

She pushed up onto her toes and pressed her lips softly to his. She felt his fingers on the skin of her back and felt electricity ignite her nerves. She pulled away just a touch and he rested his forehead on hers.

"You're already forgiven."

He let out a long breath and squeezed her against him again.

"How did you even get up here anyways?" he asked suddenly.

Enid laughed quietly, "If I told you, I'd have to kill you."

"Is that why you brought your knife?" he asked reaching around her back and unhooked the knife from her pajamas pants. "Were you planning on assassinating me?"

She laughed and grabbed her knife back out of his hands, "No…I never go anywhere without it. Just in case."

He nodded, "Yeah, I know what you mean. I sleep with mine."

Enid looked over at the bed, "What were you reading?"

"Huh?" Carl looked confused and then spotted the book open on the floor. "Oh…uh…" he walked over and picked it up.

Enid looked at the cover. She felt her eyebrows disappear into her hair, "Pride and Prejudice?"

Carl blushed a deep shade of scarlet, "Yeah…Michonne suggested it. She said it might help me understand girls better. There wasn't much of a comic book selection downstairs."

Enid couldn't help but laugh, her hand coming up to her lips. "So…did you learn anything?"

He shrugged, "I honestly didn't get very far, I was reading more so for the physical ther…" he suddenly stopped. His face turning ghostly white.

"What's wrong?" Enid asked, she spun around expecting to see a herd of walkers breaking down the front gate.

When she turned back Carl had retreated to the small dresser at the bottom of the bed. His hands were shaking as he desperately unraveled a roll of gauze.

"Carl what are you doing?" she asked but she already knew. He was trying to hide his face. He must not have realized his missing eye was exposed.

"Enid please, just give me a minute!"

She walked over to him and placed her hands on his arm. The roll got away from him and dropped to the floor, the gauze unravelling as it rolled across the room.

"Dammit!" he yelled.

"Carl it's OK, you don't have to…"

He pushed away from the dresser angrily and sat on the edge of the bed. He pulled his hair down to cover his face. Enid stayed quiet for a few minutes until his shoulders stopped shaking. Once his breathing had calmed down she took a step toward him.

"Enid don't…"

She stopped, "Why not?"

He shook his head, "You know why. My face…even Judith is scared of me."

Enid felt like her heart was breaking. Seeing him in so much pain was like torture, she could feel her eyes welling with tears. She closed the gap between them so she was standing right in front of him.

"Carl, how can you not know that it doesn't bother me? It doesn't matter to me."

"How can it not?"

Enid reached out her hand but Carl grabbed her wrist. "Please, Carl…let me."

A long moment passed and Enid felt his grip relax a little as he let out a long sigh. She brushed back his hair to reveal the dark hole surrounded by hard, scarred flesh. She gently touched the skin with her fingertips. She felt him recoil at her touch.

"Does it hurt?" she whispered.

"No, the skin…the skin doesn't have much feeling anymore…"

She traced her fingers down the side of his face, "What about when I do this?"

She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his forehead. He took a sharp breath in, "What are you…?"

She moved her lips slowly around tracing the dark wound, her lips kissing the scarred skin. She pulled back, her hands on either side of his face. His eye was closed. He looked at her as he finally exhaled.

"Why are you so ashamed of it?" she asked quietly.

She felt his hands come up to rest of her waist, "It makes me weak. I used to be a really good shot…now…"

"You'll get that back, you just need time to adjust." She said gently.

He nodded slowly, "It's still ugly."

"I think it's beautiful," she said softly.

He raised his eyebrow skeptically, "Beautiful?"

She brushed his falling hair back again, "Yeah, it shows how strong you are. Look what you've been through, what you've fought against, what you've survived. You're a soldier."

He looked at her for a long time. Enid wished she could hear what he was thinking.

"I love you Enid."

She smiled, "I love you too."


	13. Chapter 13

*Author's Note* I likely won't have another chapter up until after Christmas. In the meantime, this chapter is like…95% smut. Happy Holidays! ;)

Chapter 13:

Enid felt Carls fingers creep under her flannel pyjama top. Her skin tingled as she felt goosebumps sprout over her arms. She traced her hand lightly down the unscarred side of his face, along his jaw to his mouth. His lips parted as her fingers moved down from his nose to the base of his throat. She felt his grip on her hips tighten as he pulled her gently towards him.

She lifted her knee one at a time to rest on either side of his hips straddling him on the edge of the bed. His hands moved to the small of her back. She leaned forward to kiss him but before she could he spoke.

"Enid I need to tell you something."

Her heart felt like it had dropped into the pit of her stomach. _"What now?"_ she thought anxiously.

"OK?"

His eye dropped down but his hands didn't leave her back. He took a deep breath in before speaking again.

"This afternoon…before we…before…" he started nervously.

"Before we had sex? Carl…we've done it, you should be able to say the word now."

He laughed a little in spite of himself, "Sorry, it's still a little new to me."

Enid couldn't help but smile.

"OK," he started again, "Before we had sex, I lied when I said I didn't have a condom."

" _Well that wasn't what I expected…"_ she thought confused.

She pulled back using her hands on his shoulders to keep upright.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I had one…but I didn't want to use it, so I lied…" he said, his face turning bright pink.

Enid felt like her heart had stopped, "So…"she whispered, "so you didn't want to have sex with me…"

"No!" he said looking her straight in the eye, "I did! I do…I just…I…"

"What then?"

"…Negan game me the condom." He blurted out.

" _Definitely wasn't expecting that either."_

"Negan gave you a condom? Ummm…why?"

He shrugged, "It's complicated. When he brought me back to Alexandria he started asking me all of these questions."

"What kind of questions?"

"Questions about us…about our relationship. Whether we had…had sex." He said.

Enid made a face she was sure was completely unflattering, "Ugh! Creepy much?"

"Tell me about it. He gave it to me in case the opportunity ever presented itself. When it did…I didn't want HIM to be the reason it happened. I wanted it to happen because we had been able to figure it out on our own, made our own opportunity. I don't want him to have that kind of control over my life…"

Enid understood, it was just another way to manipulate someone. She understood Carl not wanting his memory of his first time being tainted by the fact that it happened because of that monster.

"I get it," she said quietly.

"You do?"

"Yeah I do."

"I was worried you might get mad, but I wanted to be honest with you." He said, his hands moving gently along her ribcage.

Enid was starting to get distracted by his hands, her head becoming fuzzy. "I'm not mad," she said as her eyes closed with his touch.

She leaned in to whisper in his ear, "While we're on the subject though…I have something I need to tell you too."

Carl pulled away, his face becoming serious, "Like what?"

Half of her mouth curled into a smile, "You're a terrible driver."

He couldn't help but let a gigantic smile spread across his face, "You're horrible!"

Carl kissed her, his tongue pushing into her mouth. His kiss traveled down the side of her neck, his hands travelling higher up her ribcage to just below her breasts. Enid felt a sharp jolt just below her stomach as her heart started to race. She suddenly felt his arousal against her as she shifted on his hips.

"Carl…I brought some with me."

He touched his nose to hers, let out a small bark of a laugh and then kissed her square on the mouth.

"Thank God!"

Enid laughed as Carl flipped her over onto the bed, her hair falling every which way, tickling her face. She grabbed the hem of his t-shirt as he gently brushed the hair out of her eyes. She pulled it up as far as it would go allowing him to pull it over his head, the shirt disappearing from view.

His fingers undid the top button of her shirt. Enid could feel her breath coming faster already. His hands moved down to the next button and then the next. He swallowed hard, his Adam's apple moving up and down. He moved his tongue over his lips. It was like he was hungry for her. Enid felt her lower stomach clench as her body started tingling.

Carl undid the last button, her shirt hanging open. She closed her eyes for a moment, working up the nerve not to be afraid of her own body. He lowered his mouth to the base of her throat. His lips kissing her as gently as butterfly wings. He kissed her collarbone and then the space between her breasts.

Her whole body felt electrified and she felt goosebumps prickle up over her chest and stomach. Something about the way he kissed her sent her head spinning and suddenly she didn't care about her insecurities. His calloused fingers were rough against her soft skin as he pushed open her shirt exposing her small breasts.

Enid felt his hot mouth close over one of her breasts and her breath halted in her throat. She felt a fast throbbing in her underwear. She wanted him to touch her there, like some kind of compulsion that had to be satiated. She couldn't believe the power his touch had over her. Suddenly she wanted to have that power back, she wanted to drive him as crazy as he made her.

Enid pushed herself up, the fabric of her shirt hanging open.

"What's wrong?" he asked pushing back.

She smiled at him and grabbed his shoulders. She pushed him down onto his back her hand finding the bulge in his pants as she kissed him deeply. She heard him groan against her mouth as her hand moved up and down over his erection. She smiled to herself proudly. She couldn't help but feel crazy sexy at how she made him feel when he was like this.

She felt for the button of his jeans and pinched them open with her fingers. Her mouth left his as she kissed him lower and lower. Her mouth traveling over his lean muscled chest while her hand worked to free him from his jeans.

She slid down the bed as her mouth moved lower kissing past his navel. She looked back up to see him propped up on his elbows watching her.

"What?" she asked quietly, her teeth sinking into his stomach a little.

"I want to watch."

Enid was surprised that she didn't feel self-conscious in this moment. On the contrary, she had never felt sexier. He was looking at like she was a dream, his eyes completely focused on her but with a kind of hazy lust.

She smiled a little and then ran her tongue just above the waistband of his boxers. She watched him as he clamped his eye shut, his chest shuddering as he exhaled. She grabbed either side of his pants and boxers and pulled them down past his knees. He helped her finish by kicking his feet out. This time he was the one completely exposed for her.

She could see him blush a little but he kept his eye on her face. _"I want to watch…"_ his words ran through her mind. She pushed herself up to remove her shirt, her hair falling over her bare shoulders. She watched him as his eye roamed over her bare chest.

"Wow…" he breathed.

She felt the heat creep up the back of her neck as she tucked her hair behind her ear. She wrapped her hand around his hard, hot erection. As she moved her hand up and down Enid was slightly surprised that she had been able to fit him inside of her. She didn't have anything to compare to and maybe it was because she had small hands but he was big.

She lowered her mouth to him, her eyes locking with his as she brushed her tongue over the tip of his cock. His head immediately fell back, his eye closing sharply. He let out a loud, long breath. She swirled her tongue around him again her hand moving up and down.

She looked down at what she was doing and closed her whole mouth over him, taking as much as she could in her mouth. She closed her lips around him and with her tongue and her hand moved up and down, up and down, again and again.

"Oh God…Enid…fuck…"

She could feel his hips bucking up with her movements and felt his hand grab a handful of her hair. She looked up at him but he wasn't watching her anymore, his head was back, his other hand covering his face. She couldn't believe how turned on she was. How hot she felt between her legs by just doing this to him.

She looked down and continued, her tongue sliding up and down his length. Suddenly she felt his hand touch her face.

"Enid stop…"

She pushed herself up to look at him, "You OK?"

He nodded as he sat himself up, "Yeah but any longer and I wouldn't be able to hold back anymore."

"Oh…" she said blushing.

He pulled her mouth to his kissing her as he pushed her over onto her back, "I think you need to get naked too…"

She couldn't help but giggle as he pulled down her pyjama pants, the both of them now completely uncovered. He bent down to kiss her stomach, his fingertips gently tracing the dip of her waist and out over her hips then down the outside of her thighs. His kisses moved lower but Enid was so turned on she wasn't even thinking of feeling insecure anymore.

His mouth kissed her folds and all cohesive thought flew out of her head. She was trying her best not to make much noise knowing that there were people in the rooms around them, but it was hard. She felt his tongue find her clitoris and she had to bite her lip to keep from screaming.

She felt him lift one of her legs over his shoulder, his tongue driving her crazy. She felt his hand reach up to squeeze her breast, his fingers pinching her nipple. Then she felt him slide his fingers inside her.

"Oh!" she exclaimed loudly. She realized how loud she'd been and turned her face into the pillow. Her hips started rocking with his hand and his tongue.

Her body felt like it was on fire, her lower stomach clenching hard. She felt a great pressure building, her legs starting to shake. She wasn't sure when it had happened but her other leg was suddenly over his other shoulder. His fingers moved faster in tandem with his tongue and suddenly it was happening. Her whole body began to tremble, her walls contracting hard and fast over his fingers, squeezing them.

She used the pillow to muffle her cries of ecstasy because she simply couldn't keep the noises inside her. She felt his fingers slow down their thrusts but he didn't stop.

She pushed up onto her elbows, "Carl…" she breathed. But his mouth didn't stop. She was so sensitive at that moment that every swirl of his tongue sent a shock through her body. Immediately she felt the pressure rebuilding. She could barely breathe, her moans mixed with gasps and she pushed her face into the pillow.

"Oh God…oh…fuck! Yes!"

Enid felt her body crashing again, her toes going numb, her body twisting at odd angles. She heard Carl say something but her brain wasn't working properly.

"Hmmm?" she moaned pulling her face away from the pillow.

"Where are the condoms?" she heard him ask from somewhere below her waist.

"Oh…pocket…" was all she could get out. She pressed her hand to her forehead, her hair slightly damp with sweat. She felt the bed shift as he got up, she assumed to find her pajama shirt that had their protection.

She was starting to regain proper thought process as she felt him lay back down next to her, the sound of the wrapper ripping open. Soon enough he was holding her face in his hands and kissed her softly. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he settled between her legs. His forehead pressed against her shoulder as he gently pushed himself inside her.

He let out a loud groan as he entered her, and she felt herself digging her nails into the back of his neck. Her skin was so sensitive down there already but this was a different sensation as he stretched her again.

"Enid…" her name on his tongue electrified her.

This time was different. Their first time they had both been nervous and it had hurt her a little. She had needed time to adjust to feeling him inside her. There was no pain now, only the most incredible sensation of him filling her. Her legs wrapped themselves around his waist tilting her pelvis up slightly allowing him to go deeper.

He pressed the side of his face against hers, she could feel the roughness of his scars on her cheek. She wound her hand in his hair as her other hand held his chest to hers. They were both sweating and their skin stuck together pleasantly as they made love.

" _I want to watch…"_ the words ran through her head again.

Enid grabbed a hold of both of his wrists and pushed him over onto his back. They came apart for a moment.

"What's the matter? What's wrong?" Carl asked desperately.

"Shhhh…it's alright." She whispered as she threw her leg over his waist straddling him once again. She leaned forward and pressed his hands down into the pillow and kissed him hard. She reached down with one hand to guide him back inside her. His mouth opened and his forehead wrinkled as she lowered herself onto him.

"Oh my God…" she heard him moan as she used her hips to gently push herself up and down.

Enid felt a new amazing sensation being on top. She released his hands and pushed herself up so she was sitting on top of him. She placed her hand at the base of her stomach, it was like she could feel him with her hand inside of her.

She felt his hands reach up to massage her breasts and she opened her eyes to find him watching her. His hips started thrusting upwards with her movements. She was starting to breath in gasps, her eyes closing to the sensations of their bodies together. The fiery pressure was building again inside her.

"Oh God…Carl…" she gasped.

She felt him sit up and pull her body against his hot feverish skin. She wrapped her arms around his neck and felt his mouth kiss along her jaw. Suddenly she felt his hand move between them to find her clitoris again. She held back her desire to scream out and instead bit down onto his shoulder.

"Fuck Enid, you feel so good!"

His fingers moved in fast circles over her as she continued to ride him faster and harder. The pressure was becoming too much, her insides feeling like they were on fire.

"Carl, I'm coming!" she cried into his shoulder.

She felt herself contract hard around him, waves of pleasure flowing through every nerve of her body. She felt his hands grab her waist hard, his fingers pressing into her skin. Enid was sure she'd have bruises later but she didn't care, in this moment it felt too good, like they couldn't get close enough to each other. Carl let a deep groan leave his mouth and she felt him tremble beneath her as he climaxed.

Enid stopped moving and for a while they both just held each other, letting their breathing return to normal.

"Wow…damn, that was…" Carl whispered against her neck.

Enid felt herself nodding, "…amazing."

She felt his hands on either side of her face as he pressed his lips ever so gently against hers. Enid felt a tear fall down her cheek at the sweetness of it all. When he pulled back his face was concerned as he wiped her tear away with his thumb.

"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" he asked quietly.

Enid shook her head, "No, I'm just…happy."

He smiled and kissed her again. They laid back onto the bed and Carl pulled out of her. She suddenly felt freezing cold as he turned away to dispose of their protection. She quickly pulled the bed sheets out from under her, bundling herself up underneath them trying to get warm.

"You cold?" he asked her. He pulled the sheets up and climbed into the bed next to her.

"Yeah…" she felt his naked body press itself against hers, his arms wrapping themselves around her. She felt him kiss her shoulder as he nuzzled his face into her neck.

"Is it OK if I sleep here?" she asked a little hesitantly.

Carl laughed a little, "Enid, I never want you to leave."


	14. Chapter 14

*Author's Note* Hope you all had amazing holiday celebrations with your loved ones! If I don't post anything before then, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Chapter 14:

Carl awoke to a sudden noise and sat straight up in bed. The room was almost completely pitch black except for the small flicker of the dim oil lamp on the nightstand. He grabbed the hilt of his knife from under his pillow and looked around the room, his eye slowly adjusting to the dark. He felt something soft move against his leg and he jumped as he looked down next to him.

It took him a moment to remember why Enid was in his bed but he smiled as it flooded back to him. She was sleeping on her stomach, her arms up around her head, her dark hair covering her face. The bed sheets were pulled down and her bare back was glowing in the dim light. Carl suddenly realized that he was naked still and so was she. He must have fallen asleep almost immediately after they had finished having…

" _Sex, just say it."_ He thought, _"Enid's right, you've done it now, twice! You should start getting comfortable saying the actual word. Stop acting like a kid!"_

Carl laid back down, his head propped up on his pillow. He watched for a while as Enid's body rose up and down as she dreamed. He wondered what she was dreaming about, whether he was a part of those dreams. He reached out his hand to gently brush away the hair that fell across her face. Her nose twitched a little and her eyes fluttered open.

For a moment her eyes were startled but then they softened and her mouth curved into a smile against the mattress.

"Hey…" she said sleepily.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up." He said his hand moving down to rest of her bare shoulder blade.

She rubbed her eye and looked out the window, "What time is it?"

Carl shrugged, "I don't know, something woke me up. Probably someone using the bathroom down the hall."

She turned onto her side using the sheets to cover her chest. Carl wrapped his arm around her and she rested her face on his chest. He didn't really know what to say. What could he say? Could he really try to make small talk with someone he was naked in bed with? Was he supposed to talk about the weather? Luckily Enid beat him to it.

"I was so tired."

Her face moved up and down as he sighed, "Me too…sorry I passed out."

Her nose rubbed against his skin and she laughed quietly.

"What's funny?" he asked.

She turned her head and her eyes looked up at him, "You snore."

Carl felt his mouth drop open indignantly, "I do not!"

Enid propped herself up and rested her chin on his chest, her face brightening with a mischievous smile.

"You sure do, but not loudly. It's sweet actually."

She leaned forward and kissed him gently. As she pulled away she brushed the hair off his face and even though he wanted to, he fought the urge to stop her. She was looking at his face but the desire to hide his deformity was somehow not as strong. She looked down, her hair falling over her forehead. His fingers wrapped around a strand of hair that fell off her shoulder.

"Carl?"

"Yeah?"

Her fingers started lightly tracing his chest, "Can I ask you something?"

"Uh…sure?"

" _Where is this going?"_ he thought anxiously. His hand started to move to his face but he stopped himself bringing his hand down to rest on her back.

"What happened to your mom?"

Her eyes shot up to meet his. Carl felt like his heart skipped a beat but he wasn't mad or upset. He wondered for a moment why she was asking but he realized maybe it was because of what they had fought about earlier that evening. Enid had lost her parents. He still wasn't sure what had happened to her, maybe this was her way of opening up about it.

"It's a long story…" he said quietly.

"Well, I'm not tired anymore…if you're willing to tell me."

"Well…" he let out a long breath, "my dad was in the hospital, in a coma when everything started. He had been shot while at work. My dad's partner, Shane…he got my mom and I out of the chaos and we headed for Atlanta. With everything that was happening, we thought my dad was dead. It was about two months later that my dad found us."

Enid was listening intently, her eyes never straying from his face as he told his story.

"Anyways, my dad's never really talked about it but I'm pretty sure my mom and Shane…they were…sleeping together."

"Oh…"

"She got pregnant and we were living like animals for almost a year…barely eating, moving constantly from one place to another, never being able to sleep soundly. One day we stumbled on this prison. It seemed like the perfect place to live. It had tall fences everywhere, a large fenced yard where we could grow crops, cells so we could sleep soundly. We cleared out most of it but one day something happened, someone let a bunch of walkers in and my mom, Maggie and I got separated."

Carl stopped for a minute. He could suddenly remember the sound of his mom's voice as she said her final goodbye to him, he felt the wetness in his eye and blinked hard.

"The baby started to come and our doctor was in another part of the prison, we were trapped. Something went wrong, I don't really know what. I still don't really know what happened but she couldn't have the baby normally. Maggie…she had to cut Judith out of my mom. My mom asked her to."

"Carl…I'm so sorry." Enid whispered softly.

"She passed out from the blood loss and the shock. I shot her…so she wouldn't turn."

After a few moments of silence Carl looked up at Enid, her eyes were glassy.

"…Carl, I don't know what to say…"

"You don't have to say anything. It happened…it's over. Judith is alive and healthy. I don't even know if Judith is my dad's or Shane's but she's still my sister and I would do anything for her and so would my dad."

Enid wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her cheek to his chest squeezing him hard. Carl felt the tear he had been holding back trickle down his cheek and he squeezed his eye shut. He wiped it away with the back of his hand and sniffed.

"Are you going to tell me what happened to your parents?" he asked tentatively.

She turned over to lay on her stomach, her hands pulling at a loose string on the pillow case.

"My mom and dad and I…we were doing pretty well for the first year or so. My dad had been a park ranger and a bit of a survivalist so we were pretty well prepared when everything happened. Our home was fairly remote so we were able to stay there for a few months without any problems. We started to run low on food though so my dad started venturing further and further out to find supplies. One day a herd passed our home and we had to pick up and leave everything in only a moment. That was the first time I had actually come into any real contact with the walkers. I felt so afraid, but more afraid that I wouldn't be able to save someone when they really needed my help."

Carl remembered the walker that he hadn't been able to kill which had ended up killing Dale.

"I remember feeling that way…"

"It was awful, but I learned from my dad how to protect myself. We ended up on the road for a long time after that. I'm honestly not sure how long it was. One day we found a car, my parents were trying to hot wire the engine when they came out of nowhere. My mom…she…"

Enid stopped for a minute. Carl could see the tear fall down her face.

"It's OK." He whispered.

She gave a deep sigh, "My mom locked me in the car and they were torn apart in front of me."

"Enid I'm sorry."

He wiped away her tears with his thumb.

"After that…I wandered for weeks just trying to survive."

Carl sat himself up more against the headboard, "All alone?"

She didn't say anything for a few moments. She was looking off into a dark corner of the bedroom. Carl could practically see the internal conflict brewing in her head.

"What is it?" he asked finally.

Her eyes snapped back to his, "Sorry…it's nothing."

Her face was void of emotion and her jaw was clenched.

"It's not nothing…what's wrong? You can tell…"

"It'll change the way you feel about me." She whispered so quietly that Carl almost didn't hear her.

Carl sat completely upright and turned to face her on the bed crossing his legs, the sheets twisting up around his waist.

"Enid, come here…" he held out his hands to her.

She hesitated but then curled her legs under herself to face him, her arm holding the sheet up to cover herself.

He took a deep breath, "Enid, I love you. Everything about you. Everything you say, do, everything you are. Nothing that you've done or has happened to you will change that because it's made you who you are now. Love…it isn't a perfect picture. I'm not perfect. It's written all over my face but you didn't abandon me. I won't abandon you."

She reached her hand out and placed it gently on his chest over his heart. Her fingers pressing into his skin softly. Her mouth curled up a little at the side and then fell again.

"I wasn't alone the whole time. At one point I ran into two men."

Carl felt his hands clench and his jaw tense up. He had a feeling he knew where this was going and the anger was already lighting a fire inside him.

"They touched me." She whispered as her hand fell from his chest.

Carl felt like his heart was breaking at the sound of the pain in her voice. His anger was burning his skin from the inside out.

"They tried to…tried to…"

"You don't have to say it," Carl whispered, "I know what they tried to do."

Enid let out a long sad sigh but she didn't cry.

"I killed them."

Carl couldn't quite hide the shock on his face. He had assumed she had never killed anyone…any living person at least.

"Good." He said quietly.

"You're surprised aren't you? That I've killed people."

Carl grabbed her hands and fit his fingers in between the spaces of her hands, "Honestly, yeah it's surprising. I've killed people too though…at least you killed people who deserved to die."

"Sometimes I wonder if there's actually any hope for us, for a future." She said thoughtfully.

"What do you mean?"

Enid shrugged her shoulders, "I mean for all of us, as people. Things have gone so bad, we've all done things we can never forget, never take back. The things we've had to do to survive, the things we've done for people we love."

Carl understood what she meant. Sometimes he felt that way too. "Sometimes I forget what the world was like before all this shit happened. It almost feels like it was a dream."

Enid suddenly smiled, her lips parting widely showing her teeth.

Carl couldn't help but be infected by her smile, his mouth curling up at the edges involuntarily, "What is it?"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be such a downer…I was stupid to bring it up."

Carl pulled her hands up to his lips and kissed her knuckles gently, "You're not stupid…you've made me smile more in a week than I have in a year."

"Well you should know…" she said leaning forward, "that our stupid conversations mean more to me than you could ever imagine."

She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his, her arms wrapping around his neck. The bed sheet falling down around her waist. Carl's hands moved to her waist and he felt her push herself up onto her knees. She lifted one leg to land on his other side, he felt her push against him and fell backward onto the bed as she straddled him.

Her hair fell over her shoulders tickling the skin of his chest. He was already hard as the heat of her sex rubbed against him. His hands wound their way through her hair keeping her lips against his as she rocked her hips back and forth. Carl heard himself groan as he felt her wetness against his throbbing erection.

He felt her mouth leave his to whisper in his ear, "Do you want to fuck me again?"

It was so hot that Carl almost came right then. He turned her face so he could look right in her eyes. They were hazy, her face flushed and her mouth so incredibly sexy and swollen.

"I would fuck you all day and night if I could."

She sank her teeth into her lower lip. Carl grasped her hips and rubbed his erection against her one more time. She gasped loudly, her eyes closing and a smile spreading over her face.

"You make me want to do crazy dirty things Carl Grimes."

His name on her lips made him shiver with excitement. He kissed her hard before rolling her off of him so he could reach for some protection. It only took a moment and he turned back to her. She went to push back on top of him but he wanted to be in control this time.

He pushed her over onto her side, her back to him. She protested a little but he grabbed her wrists and lifted them up over her head holding them together against the pillows with one hand. He brushed her hair away to expose her long neck. He gently kissed her from behind her ear and down her neck as his free hand reached over to grasp her breast.

"Mmmm…" she moaned as he pinched and twisted her nipples.

He could feel her hips twisting against him. He could tell she wanted him but he wasn't ready to give in to her just yet.

His hand slowly trailed down her stomach to the bundle of nerves between her legs. He felt her hands try to break free of his hold but he held onto her tightly. His teeth tugged on her earlobe before whispering in her ear, "No…you're mine."

She opened her legs, her top one wrapping itself over top of his. He continued to move his fingers over her, his fingertips brushing back and forth over her wet opening. Her hips started to twist frantically, her breathing ragged. She was gasping now, trying to free her hands from his.

"Carl…please!" she begged.

He continued to tease her with his fingers without ever completely giving her what she wanted. It was the hottest thing he'd ever experienced. Hearing her beg for him, he couldn't take it anymore. He needed to be inside her.

"Please what?" he asked. His voice had become rough and throaty.

She was breathing so hard, she could barely get the words out. "Please…I want you…inside me. Fuck me…please!"

He couldn't wait any longer. He grabbed her thigh and pulled it up towards him, positioning her entrance just above his cock. He pushed himself deep into her hot, wet opening. They both moaned loudly as he entered her. Carl was overcome with pleasure. He had to use all his focus to breathe so he wouldn't come right away.

Her hands came free amid his distraction and he felt her reach back to wrap around his neck. He pulled out a bit and pushed himself back inside her as deeply as he could. He could feel her fingers tighten on his neck with every thrust.

Carl felt his eye close as he focused on the feel of her around him. He couldn't help but breathe in her ear.

"Fuck Enid you feel so good!"

He felt himself thrusting faster and he gripped her hip hard pulling her against him each time.

"Oh God yes!" she gasped.

He felt her fingernails dig into his skin but the pain only made it hotter.

"Oh my God, right there…Carl…harder!"

He lifted her leg a little higher and pushed himself even deeper, faster, just like she wanted. She was being so loud but he didn't care if anyone heard them. This was too good, too hot, he felt the pressure building but wanted her to come first.

"Holy shit…Carl! Fuck yes!"

He felt her walls contract hard around his cock and he couldn't hold back anymore. Her nails broke the skin as they climaxed together.

Carl and Enid lay together for quite a while as their breathing returned to normal, their bodies sticking to each other from their exertion.

"Your heart is beating so fast," Enid said quietly.

"So is yours." He whispered.

Carl finally pulled away to discard their protection and Enid turned over and settled herself in the crook of his shoulder, her face resting against his chest.

Carl felt his fingers twist around a strand of her hair, "You know what you said earlier…about whether you don't know whether there's hope…"

"Yeah?"

"Sometimes I wonder if living in this world is worth fighting so hard for…but then I look at you and I want you to know something…"

She looked up at him through her long dark lashes, "What?"

"I'd fight a war for you."


	15. Chapter 15

*Author's Note* Man, some of you guys are impatient lol I've been busy and haven't had a huge amount of time during the day to write and this chapter is one of my longer ones so it took some more time. A few people have been asking me questions via the reviews but because they are reviewing as a guest I am unable to respond. If you are interested in getting a hold of me you can contact me via Instagram (lalababy19). My account is nothing special but if you wanted to ask me something that would be the best way to do it, I also enjoy just chatting TWD if you're ever bored. As always I look forward so much to all of your reviews!

Chapter 15:

"I think I miss pizza the most," Carl said thoughtfully, "my mom and dad used to order pizza for dinner every Friday night. We'd watch a movie together and eat pizza on the couch."

Carl was laying on the bed in only his boxers, his legs stretched out in front of him, his back against the headboard. Enid had thrown on his t-shirt over her underwear and was laying on her back, her head over his arm. She was staring up at the ceiling.

"I think I miss…" she said thoughtfully, "chocolate ice cream the most. Chocolate anything really."

Carl's fingers curled absentmindedly around a strand of her hair, "Oh man, there used to be this little store down the road from our house that had these awesome chocolate milkshakes." He reminisced, "I used to stop there on my way home from school and buy one with my allowance and drink it in secret. My mom used to get so mad because I'd never want to eat my dinner afterwards I'd be so full."

"My parents never let me have candy or chocolate in the house. They said it would rot my teeth…so I had a secret stash of candy bars in the garage." Said Enid softly. Carl could see the smile lift her cheeks. "One time I ate so many that it made me sick. I couldn't eat chocolate for a month afterwards."

Carl's stomach rumbled loudly and he blushed, "Sorry!"

Enid sat up and crawled towards him on the bed. "Is all the chocolate talk making you hungry?"

He laughed, "Yeah a bit."

Enid jumped up off the bed, his t-shirt just coming to the top of her thighs. Her hair was messy, sticking up at odd angles, her eyes bright and dancing in the light, her face shining with her smile. Carl couldn't believe how incredibly gorgeous and alive she looked in this moment.

"Come on, let's go raid the kitchen…I'm pretty sure there's some chocolate chips in the pantry."

She grabbed his hand and pulled him to the side of the bed.

Carl couldn't help but be infected by her excitement, so much so that he didn't even care that he was barely dressed. He pushed himself off the bed and they headed for the door.

It was still dark outside, the sun wasn't yet approaching the horizon but neither could sleep anymore and they had stayed awake just talking for the past hour.

Carl followed Enid as quietly as possible through the silent hallways his hand held tightly in hers. He couldn't help but watch her hips swing as she led him through the dark house, his t-shirt barely covering her bottom. Enid led him down a narrow stairway at the back of the house which ended in a small landing beside the kitchen.

Carl pushed the swinging door open and the two of them snuck quietly into the large kitchen. Enid stumbled over something on the floor in the darkness and Carl caught her in his arms. She started to laugh, her body shaking. Carl couldn't help but laugh along with her as he steadied her upright. He felt practically giddy as they reached the fridge. It was like nothing in the world was bad, like they were just normal teenagers sneaking downstairs for a midnight snack.

Enid pulled open the fridge door, the light illuminating her bare legs. She bent over, the t-shirt rising up over her waist. Carl couldn't help himself, he placed his hand on her bare hip, his fingers gently pulling at the fabric of her underwear. She emerged with a plate of leftover chicken legs.

"Here…" she smiled, "these were amazing, we had them last night."

Carl pulled her to him by the waist and kissed her.

When he pulled away, she looked surprised, "What was that for?"

He shrugged his shoulder, "I just felt like kissing you…and you look so damn beautiful in my shirt."

She pushed up onto her toes and kissed him again. She pulled away and pushed the plate of chicken into his hands.

"Here…you eat. I'm going to see if I can find those chocolate chips…" she left the room through the swinging door into a small pantry.

Carl jumped up onto the kitchen counter and pulled back the clear wrapping that covered the plate.

The cold chicken was just what he needed. It was just the right amount of spicy and if truth be told one of the better things he'd eaten in the past few months. He was starting to think Hilltop had a lot more to offer than Alexandria.

Suddenly the fluorescent kitchen lights sprang to life overhead and Carl raised his hand to his face to shield himself.

"Carl?"

Carl lowered his hand and squinted through the bright room.

"Daryl?"

Daryl walked across the kitchen floor towards him.

"You gon eat all that yourself?" he asked pointing at the plate of chicken.

Carl held out the plate to him and Daryl grabbed three pieces in his hands and tore the meat away with his teeth.

"Man they eat good here…" he mumbled through a mouth full of food.

Carl swallowed what he was chewing, "Yeah." He looked back at the door that Enid had disappeared through. He mentally tried to send her some kind of signal to stay where she was.

"What brought you down here? Couldn't sleep?" Daryl asked leaning against the counter.

Carl nodded, "Yeah something like that…you?"

Daryl almost smiled, "Yea, same…got woken up at one point by people getting it on upstairs…"

Carl felt like his heart stopped and he choked a bit on the chicken. He felt his face go beet red and his back stiffened as he coughed and spluttered.

"Oh…yeah?" he mumbled finally avoiding Daryl's eyes.

"You're staying upstairs too right? You didn't hear it? Just as well…might have been your dad…"

Carl made a face that made Daryl smile, "Sorry…too much info right?"

Carl took another bite of chicken and looked back over towards the pantry.

Daryl took another mouthful of chicken, "Yeah…could think of worse things to wake up to though. Sounded like a good time to me…"

"Carl I found something even better than chocolate chips…"

Enid backed into the kitchen, her arms carrying half a dozen chocolate pudding cups. She looked up and her eyes spotted Daryl. The smile instantly vanished from her mouth, her eyes widening. She dropped the pudding cups to the floor, her hands pulling down Carl's t-shirt over her thighs and bottom. She made a few squeaking noises, her mouth opening and shutting and then she turned and ran back into the pantry.

Carl looked out the side of his eye at Daryl, he felt like his face would burst into flames at any second.

Daryl swallowed what he was chewing and raised hand to his mouth, his brow furrowed, "Hold up…are you two…were you…?"

Daryl took a step back and looked Carl up and down and it was like he suddenly realized he was only in a pair of boxer shorts, he looked back at the door that Enid had retreated back into seeming to put all the pieces together that not only were they up in the middle of the night together but she was wearing his shirt and not much else.

Suddenly he felt a sharp slap on his back and Daryl started laughing.

"For real? Oh man…" he put his half eaten chicken leg down onto the counter, "Really? You two are sleeping together? Good for you kid…well I guess I can't call you kid anymore huh?"

Carl couldn't help but smile a little at Daryl's enthusiasm, "Yeah…I guess so…"

Daryl laughed again, "So…just my own curiosity…how long you two been…you know, doin' the dance with no pants?"

Carl felt a laugh burst from his mouth, "Ah…just since we got here this afternoon…"

Daryl clapped his hands together, Carl thought he looked younger when he was smiling. His face was still bloodied and bruised, his eyes tired and puffy but somehow talking to him about this, he looked genuinely happy.

"You sly dog you! While we were in the house? Shit man…if I had known I woulda baked you a cake or somethin'…" he chuckled, "So…how was it?"

Carl rubbed his hand against the back of his neck ruffling his hair, he shrugged his shoulders but couldn't wipe the goofy smile that had spread across his face.

"It was…well, it's awesome!"

Daryl slapped him on the back again, "Damn right it was! Listen Carl…I'm happy for ya. You been through a lot of shit, I'm glad you have someone."

Carl smiled, "Thanks Daryl."

"Now…" he said taking the plate of chicken out of Carl's hands and backing up towards the door, "You probably better go get your woman, just keep it down for those of us tryin' to sleep."

Daryl was almost out the door when Carl called out to him, "wait Daryl…don't…"

"Don't worry man…I won't tell your dad nothin'."

He turned off the kitchen light on his way out the door and Carl was plunged back into darkness. He took a few more bites of his chicken leg and threw the bone into the trash. He opened the swinging kitchen door and knocked quietly on the kitchen pantry.

"Enid?"

The pantry door opened a few inches and the dim light from the hallway shone on Enid's face as she peeked around the door.

"Did he leave?" she asked.

Carl laughed quietly and pushed the door open, "Yeah, he's gone."

Enid blushed furiously, "Oh my God I'm so embarrassed. What did he say?"

"Well, he kind of figured out what was going on…but he'll keep it to himself."

She let out a long breath and smiled, "Good."

Carl noticed a brown smudge on her upper lip and looked at the floor where two empty pudding cups lay.

"You have something on your lip…" he said moving closer to her.

"Oh, here?" she said blushing. "I couldn't help myself…its chocolate after all…" She brushed her fingers along the wrong side of her mouth.

Carl laughed, "Here, I got it." He raised his hand and brushed his thumb gently over her lip removing the pudding.

He lowered his lips to gently kiss the side of her neck and he felt her head fall to the side, her pulse racing at his touch.

A light grew and Carl looked up to see the orange sun starting to rise over the horizon through the kitchen window.

"Come on…" he whispered, "we should get back upstairs, everyone will be waking up soon."

She nodded and followed Carl back up the dark narrow staircase her hand clutched in his. They reached the landing and Carl quickly checked the hallway to make sure no one else was up yet.

"The coast is clear." He whispered.

Enid pulled his hand backwards to stop him, "I think I'm actually going to have a shower, before anyone else wakes up. Do you think you could bring my clothes from the bedroom down to the bathroom for me? I'll leave the door unlocked."

He nodded and she quickly kissed him before tip toeing down the hallway, disappearing into the bathroom. Carl quietly made his way back down to his room.

The bedroom was brighter than he remembered, the sunlight starting to filter in through the window next to the bed. Carl pulled on his jeans and after looking for his t-shirt for a few minutes realized that Enid had been wearing it. He found her pyjama top at the bottom of the bed and couldn't help but smile to himself.

He couldn't remember ever feeling so happy. Deep down he knew that life was about to get dangerous but coming here, seeing everyone together again. Seeing Enid's face as she saw him for the first time. Hearing her tell him that she loved him back. The way that they had come together so perfectly innocent and slightly awkward for the first time.

He raised the shirt to his face and inhaled, her scent making him feel dizzy. He didn't know how to describe it only that it was completely unique to her. The sun coming up in the distance suddenly made his heart ache. It was a new day, which meant that the magic of the past 24 hours was over. They'd be leaving soon and he was almost positive that Enid would be staying here to be close to Maggie. He couldn't ask her to leave the only family she had that would be selfish.

Their decision to fight back against Negan meant that anything could happen. If he was in Alexandria, he wouldn't be here to protect Enid.

" _Don't think about that…"_ he thought desperately.

He heard the distant sounds of the shower turn on down the hall and quickly grabbed Enid's pyjamas and shoes from the floor by the window. He quietly made his way back down the hall and placed his hand on the door of the bathroom. He took a deep breath and turned the door handle pushing open the heavy wooden door.

The room was full of steam and for a moment all he could see was white mist. He felt it stick to his skin as his bare feet moved across the warm tile floor. The water was loud and echoed off the high walls. Carl found the counter and set Enid's clothes down next to a folded yellow towel. He found his t-shirt on the floor and stooped down to pick it up.

Carl looked up at the shower and his heart started pounding. He could see Enid's silhouette through the shower curtain. He stared for a moment taking in her long legs, the curve of her hips, her small waist, and the roundness of her breasts…

He felt his erection press against his jeans. He shook his head and stood up, feeling slightly dizzy in the heat. He took a few steps towards the door, his hand reaching for the door knob.

He stopped, his hand flexing open and closed again as he stood there. He looked back over his shoulder at the girl he loved.

" _Just because the sun is up doesn't mean that you can't touch her…"_ he thought.

Carl turned and took a step towards the shower. He unzipped his jeans and pushed them and his boxers down stepping out of them on the floor. He took another deep breath, the steam filling his throat and as confidently as he could walked towards the shower.

He pulled back the curtain a bit and saw her, the water cascading down her naked body. He was already hard and felt slightly embarrassed about just jumping in behind her. He reached out his hand and touched her waist, feeling the hot water run down his hand.

She jumped a little and whirled around, her wet hair clinging to her shoulders and down over her chest.

"Oh Carl! You scared me!" she exclaimed. Her hands instinctively covered her chest, her legs crossing themselves trying to be modest.

"Sorry," he said shyly, "Can I join you?"

Her mouth curled up at the side and she nodded.

Carl pulled the curtain aside and stepped in under the hot water feeling it burn his skin a little. There wasn't much room and her wet hips brushed against his erection, a small groan escaping his lips.

"They're always telling us to conserve water here anyways," she said over the roar of the water.

Carl leaned into her letting the water run through his hair and down his back. He rubbed his face gently as the water dripped down over his forehead and nose. He opened his eye and placed his hands on her waist. She looked back over her shoulder at him, her wet hair clinging to her face, the water streaming down the sides of her face against her mouth.

He brushed her damp hair off to the side and leaned down to gently kiss her shoulder.

"I don't want you to go…" she said quietly.

Carl's heart pinched a little, "I know." He wound his arms across her stomach and pulled himself against her.

He felt her let out a long sigh, "I don't even know when we'll see each other again."

Carl's head dropped, his forehead resting on her shoulder his eye closing.

"What if…" she whispered, "What if something happens to you…"

Carl lifted his head and turned her around to face him, her wet chest pressed against his. He lifted her chin up so she looked up at him.

"I'll find my way back to you…I promise."

"Carl…" she said shaking her head, "you can't make promises like that now with everything that's happening."

He placed his hands on either side of her face, he knew she was right. There was too much uncertainty ahead of them. All he could do at this moment was kiss her, his lips brushing softly against hers as the water poured down over them both.

He felt her hands run down his stomach and his breath caught in his chest. Her hands moved lower and wrapped around his erection, the combination of her hands and the warm water making him dizzy.

She pulled her lips away for a moment, "It doesn't have to end just yet though."

She bent her knees lowering her body as she trailed wet kisses down his stomach. Her big eyes looked up at him as she took him in her mouth. He couldn't help but gasp as her tongue circled his head around and around. His hand found its way into her wet hair, his other hand holding onto the shower wall to keep him upright.

He forced his eye open, the water was clinging to her long dark eye lashes as her mouth moved up and down over him. His legs were starting to shake.

"Enid…oh God…" he moaned quietly against the sound of the water.

Her mouth and hand sped up ever so slightly and Carl imagined he was inside her again, his hips thrusting ever so gently with her. The pressure was becoming too much, he felt like he was going to explode.

"I'm coming!" he cried. He felt the pressure release, his mind and body going numb to everything else but this feeling. Her mouth was still on him, her movements slowing down as he crashed.

His heart was pounding as she stood up from her place in front of him. He couldn't think of anything so he just smiled stupidly at her. She smiled shyly back as she brushed her wet hair away from her face.

His hands moved from her waist down over her bottom and around her hips to the place between her legs. Her eyes closed slowly as his fingers found her sensitive spot, her arms coming up to wrap around his neck. Carl pushed her gently into the wall of the shower, her fingers twirling through his wet hair.

He kissed the base of her throat, the spray of the water tickling his face. He could hear her short gasps as he kneeled down in front of her. He looked up at her face, her eyes were closed, her breasts moving up and down quickly with her breathing.

He lowered his mouth to her, his tongue parting her skin. She cried out and he felt her fingers pull his hair a bit. He felt her legs start to tremble a little and lifted one over his shoulder. He could get right up under her now and he pushed his fingers inside her.

"Yes…oh Carl, yes!" she whispered, her hand clenching in his hair.

He continued with his tongue and fingers faster and faster, her hips moving back and forth with him.

"Oh God!" she cried out. Her knees buckled under her and Carl had to catch her from falling down; his hand wrapping around her waist.

He was up on his feet in an instant, "Are you OK?" he asked as she slumped against his chest.

She was shaking and for a moment Carl was concerned until he heard her laughing.

She finally pulled back and looked up at his face, "You're very good at that."

He smiled and pushed his fingers through her wet hair.

The water suddenly started to run cold and Enid gave a little shriek.

"I'm getting out now," she said quickly pulling the curtain aside.

"I'll be out in a sec…" Carl was no stranger to cold showers. That was all they had had at the prison. He quickly washed his hair and body and turned off the water. He pushed open the shower curtain and stepped out onto the tile floor, his hair and body dripping.

He looked up and saw Enid staring at him. She was already almost dressed, her pyjamas back on, her shoes in her hand. She was staring at him and he was suddenly self-conscious of his nakedness being completely on display in front of her.

"Hey…" he said jokingly, "I know you like to look at my body but my eye is up here."

Her head snapped up, her eyes meeting his. He raised his eyebrow and she laughed loudly. She tossed the yellow towel to him and he wrapped it around his waist. She turned towards the mirror and quickly braided her wet hair into a long plait down over her shoulder.

Carl dried himself off and pulled his clothes on. He rubbed the towel against his wet hair taking out as much moisture as possible.

Enid opened the bathroom door and peeked her head out to look down the hall. Carl hung up the towel on a rack near the door to dry.

"I don't think anyone is up yet…I could probably sneak out the front door instead of going out the window." She said as he came up behind her.

He nodded, "OK come on then."

He grabbed her hand and pulled her along behind him as quietly as they could go down the hallway towards the front stairs. The sunlight was shining in through the windows on either side of the large front door.

Carl led the way down the stairs, looking behind him at each creak the old floorboards made under their weight. They finally reached the bottom and Enid made for the front door. Carl pulled her back around to him and kissed her one more time, one hand on the back of her neck, the other pulling her body against his. She sighed against his mouth as they broke away.

"I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too, I'll see you in a bit." She whispered back.

"Hem hem."

Carl and Enid both looked up to see Maggie, Rick and Michonne standing in the open doorway of the dining room.

"Oh shit…" Carl said miserably.

Rick crossed his arms across his chest, "Oh shit is right."


	16. Chapter 16

Hey everyone! So this unfortunately will be the last chapter until at least after the Mid-Season Premiere. Luckily there's just under a month until February 12th is here. I'm going back to work the first week of February but don't worry I won't be abandoning this story. I'll likely be doing a lot of writing still but for my own novel until then. As always I look forward to your reviews. They definitely get me through the long, boring days at home.

Chapter 16:

 **Carl:**

Rick shifted his weight, his arms still folded across his chest, "Carl?"

"Uh…" Carl started, _"Fuck, don't say anything stupid..."_ he thought desperately, "I can explain…"

No one said anything for a few moments and everyone was staring at him. Carl could practically feel the wheels in his head grinding together as he tried to come up with some valid excuse for being with Enid, at dawn…upstairs…in her pyjamas. He was starting to get a headache already.

Michonne was the next to speak; her hands going to her hips, "Well?"

"It's not what it looks like!" he blurted. _"Nice one genius…"_

"Oh it's not huh?" Michonne asked. "So what exactly is it?"

"We were just sleeping…" Enid said quietly avoiding Maggie's eyes.

Maggie nodded, her arms crossing her chest. She smirked and looked down but when she looked back up her smile was gone.

"Right…just sleeping. Naked?"

Carl stopped breathing. Michonne and Rick turned to look at Maggie, their eyebrows rising.

"How could you know that?" Enid asked skeptically.

Maggie suddenly blushed, "I…" her face was turning pink under her dark tan, "I saw you OK?"

She shifted back and forth, clearly growing more and more uncomfortable.

Carl's heart was hammering, "You what?"

"I was looking for Enid!" she said defensively, "I woke up in the middle of the night and she was gone. I looked everywhere!" She started to pace back and forth in front of the window. "I saw the light on in the house and thought that maybe you had gone to make up with Carl after your little fight. I didn't realize when I opened the door I'd find the two of you sleeping naked together!"

Michonne and Rick both turned back to look at Carl and Enid again looking more unimpressed than ever. Something clicked in Carl's head as he remembered waking up to a strange noise earlier that morning. He realized it must have been Maggie opening and closing the door.

"OK fine!" Carl said almost yelling, "You caught us. So what? How are you all seriously so angry about this! Don't we have bigger problems to deal with?"

Carl felt Enid step forward but her grip on his hand tightened slightly.

"Carl and I…made this decision together and…we…we don't have anything to be ashamed of. I don't really know why you're all so mad."

Carl couldn't help but be impressed at her boldness.

"We're not…" Maggie said, Carl could see her eyes softening, "We're not mad…it's just…you're both…"

Rick stepped forward again, "You're both too young to be…well…" his resolve faltered a bit as he struggled to say the words.

"Having sex?" Carl finished for him. He was staring down his dad. He could feel Enid turn back to look at him, see her smile slightly out of the corner of his eye. Carl couldn't quite believe his own nerve. He could see them all squirm a little.

"We're just concerned about you…you're both…in new territory." Maggie said raising her hands.

Carl was starting to get annoyed, "We haven't done anything wrong!"

"Maggie," Rick said quietly turning to her, "I think we should speak to Carl privately."

Enid turned to look at Carl, her eyes apologetic as her hand loosened its grip on his. Maggie nodded and walked towards them. She placed both her hands on Enid's shoulders, turned her around and marched her out the front door. Enid gave one last look back at Carl before the front door closed between them.

Carl turned his head back slowly, Rick and Michonne hadn't moved.

Michonne kicked one of the dining chairs towards him, "Sit."

Carl wearily made his way to the chair and slumped down into it.

"Please tell us that you were at least…safe." Michonne said uncomfortably.

Carl felt his skin burn as the embarrassment crept up his face, he couldn't help but squirm a little under their gaze.

"Yeah…" Carl mumbled quietly.

Rick started to pace on the opposite side of the table, "Safe has nothing to do with this, you shouldn't be _doing_ anything!"

"Like you don't do it?" Carl said glaring up at his dad.

"Carl!" Michonne warned.

Carl sighed, "Well it's true!"

"That's different…" she said.

Carl slammed his hands on the table, "No it's not!"

"Carl watch your attitude!" his dad yelled.

He'd had enough, "What's the big problem? Am I not allowed to be with her? What could possibly be the reason for that?"

Rick and Michonne were both taken aback by his yelling.

"No, of course not…we just…" she started.

Carl cut her off, "you have each other, Aaron has Eric, Tara had Denise, Maggie had Glenn, why can't I be happy too?"

Michonne sighed and sat down in the chair next to him, "Carl, it's not that we don't want you to be happy."

"Then what?" he was starting to get emotional. He was already upset at having to leave Enid for who knew how long, now to have to go through all of this too? It was total bullshit.

Rick put his hands on the chair Michonne was sitting in, "It's just you're both so young…Carl, what if you get her pregnant? What are you going to do with a baby?"

"I guess I'd be doing the same as I already do with Judith, or have you forgotten that I pretty much raise her anyways?"

Rick looked like Carl had slapped him in the face. He immediately regretted what he'd said.

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean that…" he whispered. The truth was the thought hadn't even crossed his mind. He suddenly thought of his mom, how she had died giving birth. How Maggie had been in such pain when they'd tried to get her here. What if that happened to Enid? How could he live with himself?

"She won't get pregnant, we use protection." He said quietly.

"Accidents happen all the time," Michonne said, "condoms break and then what?"

Carl couldn't think of anything to say so he just shrugged his shoulders.

"When we had that talk last night…" Rick said gently. "I didn't think that…I didn't know you'd take that as…permission to start having sex."

"I didn't...I mean…we'd already…" he stopped himself when Rick raised his eyebrow at him. _"Shit…"_

Rick and Michonne looked at each other.

"Listen Carl," his dad said leaning down, "We're not saying you can't, because God knows you'll just do what you want anyways…"

Michonne reluctantly let a smile creep onto her face as her hand covered his, "Just please, be careful."

Carl nodded, "You don't have to worry now anyways….we're leaving. I may never even get to see her again…"

Michonne's face softened and she leaned forward to wrap her arms around him. She squeezed him tightly and Carl couldn't help but lean into the hug. He opened his eye and looked up at his dad, his face almost sympathetic.

Michonne sniffed loudly and let go. She stood up and pushed Rick towards the kitchen. Carl looked down at his hands on the table.

"Oh and Carl? Next time…watch the noise level alright? It was slightly traumatizing for us…" Rick teased.

Carl's mouth fell open, "You heard us?"

"Pretty sure the whole house heard you two."

Carl buried his face in his hands, "Oh God…"

"That's what she said." Rick said turning back to Michonne. She laughed and they high fived each other before going through the dining room door.

Carl watched the door softly close behind them, "Well…I think I just threw up in my mouth a bit…"

 **Enid:**

Enid felt Maggie's hands steer her back towards their trailer at the end of the yard. The dew on the grass soaking through her sneakers and the hem of her pyjamas. Maggie dropped her hands but stayed behind her as if she thought that she might run off all of a sudden.

She climbed the few stairs to the trailer door and walked inside. Sasha was sitting at the kitchen table eating a bowl of instant oatmeal with wild blueberries. She noticed that there were two bowls set out at the table as well. One for her, one for Maggie.

Enid stood for a moment unsure of where to go. She wondered if Maggie would berate her in front of Sasha and her face reddened at the thought of how embarrassing that would be.

"So you found her huh?" Sasha said through a mouthful of oatmeal looking up at them both. Enid heard the door shut behind them as Maggie stepped in. It was warmer in here than the cold of the morning and her fingers flexed to work out the cold from her bones.

"Enid, why don't you have a seat? Eat some breakfast." Maggie said pushing past her to sit at the table.

Enid stayed standing by the door for a minute, her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her shirt.

Maggie leaned back in her chair and sighed, "Enid, I'm not mad if that's what you're worried about. I just want to talk."

She let out a long breath and pulled out the small chair between the two women. She sat down and pulled the bowl of warm oatmeal towards her. She placed her hands on either side of the bowl feeling the heat warm her fingers. She grabbed for the brown sugar and delicately sprinkled a little over the top before taking a bite.

"So…" Maggie said slowly, "Can I assume that you were at least safe?"

Enid almost choked on her oatmeal. She coughed into her hand and couldn't help but notice Sasha trying to hide her smile.

"Yeah…I mean yes…we…we used protection." She said quietly her eyes focusing on the table.

"Good," Maggie said nodding her head sharply, "Well that's all I need to know then."

Enid looked up at her flabbergasted, "That's it?"

"Yeah, that's it."

"You're not going to tell me I made a stupid mistake? That I'm not old enough to be…" she glanced at Sasha who was clearly invested in the conversation, "having sex?" she finished whispering.

Maggie swallowed and set her spoon down, "Look, things are different now. I wasn't much older than you are now when I lost my virginity and to be honest…I was a lot less mature than you are. Both you and Carl may be young in age but you're practically thirty year olds in terms of maturity."

"It's true," Sasha piped in, "When I was fifteen, all I cared about was finding the right boots to match my purse and if I had failed my latest chemistry test."

Enid couldn't help but smile a little.

"Plus…I get it…" Maggie said taking another bite of her breakfast, "You don't know what'll happen tomorrow these days and you've both been through terrible things the past few weeks. I understand wanting to find comfort in being together."

Enid felt her smile grow a little more, "Thanks…for not being judgemental."

Maggie placed her hand over Enid's and gave her a quick squeeze.

"So…even though I kinda consider Carl to be like a little brother I have to ask…" Maggie started as she took a sip of her tea. "How was it?"

Enid felt her face flush, her cheeks getting hot, "Oh…ahhh…I don't know…"

Sasha leaned forward, "Oh come on Enid! It's been so long since I've been able to have any real 'girl talk'. I need details…or at least as many details as Maggie can stomach."

Maggie smiled and waved at Sasha, "Oh I'm good lately, baby Rhee isn't making my stomach weak anymore."

Enid shrugged her shoulders, "Umm…it's was great…I mean, it was sweet…he was sweet about it…the first time."

Maggie leaned forward placing her hands on the table, "The first time? Wait…I thought…how long has this been going on?"

"Just since yesterday," Enid said, her face felt like it was on fire but for some reason she was kind of enjoying being able to finally talk to someone about it all. She thought about it for a moment and realized that Maggie was really only seven or eight years older than her, Sasha not much older than her. It was kind of like having older sisters.

Maggie looked confused for a moment, "But you two were fighting yesterday?"

Enid looked over her shoulder at her bedroom door, "It was when you were all up at the house and Carl and I were here."

"Ha! I knew it!" Sasha shouted.

Maggie turned to her, "You knew? Why didn't you say anythin'?"

Sasha took a sip of her coffee, "I didn't know for sure. I thought they had just been…I don't know, making out or something."

Enid hid her face in her hands, "Oh God…"

"Wow," Maggie said her eyebrows raising, "Carl's pretty confident to bring protection with him all the way from Alexandria on the off chance you'd get some alone time."

"Actually, he didn't…I had it…" she said quietly.

Maggie stared at her, "Really? Where did you get condoms?"

Enid fidgeted in her seat a moment. She didn't really want to admit that she'd stolen something. "From Dr. Carson's office when I took you over to see him. I thought they'd be a good thing to have, you know…just in case."

Maggie chuckled, "You're a smart girl Enid."

"So it was nice?" Sasha asked sincerely, "I know the first time usually isn't that great for girls. I mean at least it wasn't for me. It hurt like hell, I was so nervous. That probably didn't help things in retrospect."

Maggie nodded, "yeah it got better after a few times."

Enid fiddled with the end of her braided hair, "It only hurt for a minute at first, but it definitely wasn't as bad as I expected. It actually…it felt nice, he was…gentle."

Sasha and Maggie both awed at the same time and Enid couldn't help but shake her head and laugh.

"But it was definitely better the next couple times…" Enid said taking a bite of her breakfast.

"Holy cow, how many times did you two get it on in 24 hours?" Maggie asked her arms crossing over her chest.

Enid shrugged and then held up three fingers.

"My God," Sasha exclaimed, "it's like you guys are a couple of bunnies!"

Enid suddenly felt self-conscious and pulled her arms into herself, "That's a lot? Oh…I...I just…"

Enid felt Maggie's hand on her shoulder, "That's not a bad thing Enid, you two just…you must be really into each other."

Enid let out a long breath. She thought about how Carl looked at her, about how he kissed her so gently but with so much passion behind it. How when he touched her she couldn't think of anything else. Her stomach clenched hard and she was suddenly overcome with sadness, her eyes welling up with tears.

"Enid…what's the matter? I didn't mean anything by the bunny comment…" Sasha asked concerned.

She wiped away the tears angrily and sniffed loudly, "No it's just…they're leaving. I don't even know when I'll see him again…"

"You'll see him again," Maggie said kindly, "I'm sure of it. Carl…he's a fighter and I can see how much he cares about you. He'll make it."

While Maggie's intentions were good, it didn't help Enid feel that much more at ease. Enid suddenly wasn't hungry anymore and stood up from the table.

"I'm…" she said quietly, "I'm going to go get dressed."

She could feel Maggie and Sasha watch her as she made her way back to her bedroom. She leaned against the closed door and rested her eyes for a minute. Her body felt tired but her mind was all over the place.

She sat down on the edge of her bed, still unmade from the night before. She pulled one of her pillows to her face and inhaled. It still smelled of him but not as much. Soon it wouldn't smell like him at all and that would make everything worse. Her mom used to say that distance made the heart grow fonder but she started to think that was bullshit.

 **Carl:**

"So…I guess you're the new resident Casanova huh?"

Carl looked up to see Tara coming through the dining room door, a bowl of cereal in her hands.

"Huh?"

She took a seat across from him and set her bowl down on the table, "You know, lady killer, stud muffin, Don Juan…"

Carl groaned loudly, "Is it impossible to ever get privacy these days?"

"Not when your lovemaking wakes everybody up I'm afraid. Cat's out the bag Carl." She smiled, "Good job though by the way."

His eyebrow pulled inward with confusion, "what do you mean?"

"Well…" she said absentmindedly stirring her cereal around, "either Enid is an extremely good actress or you're very talented."

Carl didn't think he could blush any harder but he felt a strange sense of pride and he couldn't help the wide smile spreading across his face. Tara smirked back at him.

"Yeah, you're a natural," she said laughing, "now…go get something to eat, you must be hungry after last night."

Carl shook his head, "No…everyone's in there…"

"So what?" she said leaning forward, "You have nothing to be ashamed of, in fact you should be proud of yourself. I don't know how your dad feels about it, but the rest of us were pretty impressed. I was wondering when you two would finally figure out you liked each other."

Carl leaned back to look at the door and contemplated getting something to eat but he still wasn't sure he was ready to look his dad in the face again.

"Here," Tara said pushing her cereal bowl towards him, "Have mine, I'll grab myself another bowl…"

Carl smiled, "Thanks Tara."

She stopped and turned around, her hand on the open door.

"Oh just a heads up, we're all meeting with that skeeze ball Gregory soon so make sure you grab everything that's yours from upstairs before then OK?"

He nodded and took a bite of cereal.

Once he'd finished Carl headed up the stairs back to his room to clean up. They'd be leaving soon and he didn't want to piss anybody off by not making the bed or leaving a mess. He opened the door and quickly threw the bed back together. The sheets smelled like Enid a little and he felt his chest swell. He grabbed his knife from under the pillow and hooked it on his belt. He sat down and pulled on his boots taking the time to lace them up.

Carl looked up from his place on the bed and caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He quickly realized that his face was uncovered. He hadn't had it covered all night, or morning and he hadn't even noticed. Nobody had looked at him strangely or with fear.

" _Maybe Enid's right…maybe it's not so bad…"_ he thought touching the scarred skin of his face. The skin was still numb to the touch, it probably would always be. The angry redness of the socket stared back at him like something out of a horror movie though. "Nope…it's still pretty bad," he said out loud to himself shaking his head.

He quickly wrapped up his face, grabbed his hat and pushed it down over his almost dry hair. He noticed another knife on the dresser and realized that Enid must have left it there. He picked it up and turned it over in his hands.

He went to the window and looked out over the yard. Her trailer was the last one on the lot. He couldn't see inside but the shade covering Enid's bedroom window rippled with movement.

" _She must be in her room…hope she's not in too much trouble."_ He thought.

He looked back down at the knife.

" _She needs this back…no one can say that that's not a good excuse to go over there."_

He took one last look around the room and shut the door behind him before heading down the stairs.

He headed across the lawn towards the trailers. He passed Hilltop residents on their way about, likely heading to whatever jobs they were assigned. They looked at him as they passed and Carl felt his hand come up to block the right side of his face from their stares.

Carl reached Enid's window and gave a soft knock with his knuckles. After a moment the shade was pulled up and he saw Enid's smile spread across her face as she saw him. She had changed and her hair was free of its braid hanging loosely over her shoulders. He felt his heart start to pick up in her presence. She pushed open the window and leaned over the edge above him.

"So," she smirked, "you're still alive then?"

Carl laughed quietly brushing his boots against the grass, "so are you it seems. Can you get away?"

Enid looked over at her door for a moment and then back to him, "I think so…give me a minute?"

He nodded and stepped away from the window as the shade fell back down.

Carl leaned against the railing of the stairs going into the trailer. He could hear talking inside but couldn't quite make out what was being said. There didn't seem to be any yelling though which he took as a good sign.

The trailer door opened and Enid stepped out into the morning sun her dark hair shining. She smiled down at him from the door and made her way down the steps. Carl looked back up at the open door and could see Sasha and Maggie standing shoulder to shoulder. They both gave him a wave and Sasha winked at him as they both smirked.

Carl felt his cheeks go red and tentatively raised his hand to wave back. He felt Enid grab his raised hand and then they were walking away. Enid led him around the back of the house.

"So how are y—," Carl started but he was cut off by Enid kissing him. He felt himself lose his balance and he fell back a little against the rough brick of the house, her hands on either side of his face.

He pulled her against him almost instinctually and she relaxed into his arms. Her lips were so soft against his, his tongue brushing gently against hers. He could almost forget about everything.

Carl felt a small pain in his chest when she finally broke away, her eyes a little hazy. Her mouth sexy and swollen as she caught her breath.

"So are you in a lot of trouble?" she whispered.

"Not really…" he said quietly, his chest moving up and down as his heart raced, "I mean, they were mad but I think they've changed their minds. I think they were mostly shocked you know?"

"Yeah."

"What about you?" he asked.

"Maggie's cool with it. She was mostly worried that I went missing in the middle of the night."

Carl looked back in the direction of the trailer, "Yeah I get that."

A few moments passed where neither said anything.

"So…" she started, "When are you guys leaving?"

Carl could hear her trying to hide the sadness in her voice.

"Tara was telling me that we're supposed to be meeting with that asshole Gregory guy first, then I would imagine we'll be heading back."

She nodded her head and looked down at her feet. Carl placed his hands on her small waist sneaking his hands under her shirt to feel her skin against his fingers one more time.

"Hey…so I was thinking…" he started.

She looked up at him with her bright hazel eyes, "yeah?"

"I was thinking that…maybe when this is all over, I could…you know…take you on a date or something?"

Enid raised her eyebrows at him, "A date?"

Carl felt his cheeks grow warm, "Yeah…I mean…" he stuttered nervously, "It's not like we could do anything crazy but something that we could do, just the two of us."

Enid's face softened, her smile growing wider and her cheeks turning pink.

"Yeah," she said, "I'd like that."

Carl let out a long breath and she laughed softly.

"So does that mean…that you're my…boyfriend?" Enid asked looking up at him slowly through her long eyelashes.

Carl smiled, "I'd like to be, if you're OK with that."

She nodded pushing herself up onto her toes to wrap her arms around his neck. "I'm going to miss you so much. Promise me you'll be safe…that you won't do anything stupid."

"When have I ever done something stupid that was unsafe?" He asked sarcastically.

She pulled back, her one eyebrow raised questioningly, "Really?"

He laughed, "I'm kidding. I promise I won't go looking for trouble."

He kissed her again savoring the taste of spearmint on her tongue. Her hands pressed on his chest.

"Carl?"

Michonne's voice bounced off the fence at them and he reluctantly pulled away from her lips. He rested his forehead against hers, her eyes still closed.

"Carl?"

It was his dad's voice this time. Carl turned his head and shouted back, "Be right there!"

When he turned back Enid was looking up at him sadly, "Come on, let's go."

She pulled her body away from him and he followed her around the side of the house. He could see everyone waiting for them on the front steps of Barrington House. Carl tried to ignore the smirks from his friends and family as he and Enid came around the corner.

Rick looked between him and Enid for a moment but Carl could see the smallest smile start to grow.

"OK Maggie," Rick said, "let's get started."

Maggie nodded at him and they all headed towards the great brick house.


	17. Chapter 17

Author's Note: YAY! The Walking Dead is back and so is my little story Sorry it took me a little longer than normal to post, I'm back at work now so finding time to sit down and write has become a little harder to do. As always, I love to hear your feedback and suggestions!

Chapter 17:

Carl stood next to Michonne in one of the front rooms of Barrington House. It was a ridiculously extravagant room, like something he would have seen on a field trip to some boring historical site. His mind was starting to drift. Everything that was coming out of this asshole's mouth was utter horse shit.

The hope that he had gone into that house with was starting to die the longer this conversation went on. Gregory was a coward, and there was no way that they were going to convince this guy to fight back unless his own precious life was on the line.

"Is that how you want to live? Under their thumb? Killing your people?" his dad asked incredulously.

"Sometimes we don't get to choose what our life looks like. Sometimes, Ricky, you have to count the blessings you have."

Carl almost laughed out loud, " _Did he seriously just call my dad Ricky? The fuck is wrong with this guy?"_

He looked over to where Maggie was standing, where he thought Enid was. He wanted to share in his annoyance with her, but she wasn't there. He dropped his arms to his side and looked around the room.

" _Where is she? She was right behind me…I thought…"_

"How many people can we spare?" Maggie asked stepping forward, "How many people here can fight?"

Gregory brushed her off, "We? I don't even know how many people we have Margaret, and does it even matter?"

Carl glanced at Michonne, who looked as flabbergasted as he felt.

"What are you going to do? Start a platoon of sorghum farmers? Because that's what we got. They grow things. They're not going to want to fight."

"You're wrong!" Tara chimed in, "When people have the chance to do the right thing, they usually step up…people just -"

"Let me stop you before you break into song OK?" Gregory cut her off. "Oh and by the way, who would train all this cannon fodder?"

Sasha and Rosita both stepped up offering their help.

"Rhetorical! OK?" Gregory practically yelled back at them, "I don't want to know! I never want to hear another word about any of it…ever!"

Carl could see his dad was starting to lose his cool, practically see the steam shooting out of his ears.

"Would we be better off without the saviours, yes or no?" Rick said trying to keep his voice calm.

Gregory gave a great shrug as he sat back in his chair, "Yeah, sure OK…"

Michonne could obviously tell that Rick was losing it, so she stepped forward to take over, "So what will you do to fix the problem?"

"I haven't said we have a problem," Gregory said leaning over.

Carl could not believe this guy. His head was starting to throb with pain, the annoyance with Gregory adding to the ache. He glanced around for Enid again, stupidly thinking maybe he had missed her the first time around, but she still wasn't there.

" _Where did she go?_ " he thought looking over at the double doors to the office.

He pressed the heel of his hand to the bandaged side of his head and gave his head a shake. He wished he had asked Enid how she had made his head ache go away back on the side of the road.

"What the hell man? You're either with us or you ain't." Daryl exclaimed. Carl felt his head throb again at the loudness of Daryl's voice. "You're sittin' over there talkin' outta both sides of your mouth."

Gregory adjusted himself and stood up slowly, "Well, I think I've made my position very clear. I want to thank all of you for…not being here today, and not having this meeting with me or being seen on your way out. In other words…go out the back."

His dad paused for a moment and then stood back and nodded them towards the door.

" _What a waste of time it was trying to talk to that idiot…"_ Carl thought amidst the pounding in his head.

There was a variety of colourful names being tossed around for Gregory as they reconvened in the front hall.

"We don't need 'em anyway," Daryl said quietly.

"Yeah that's right," Rick said, "We have Maggie, Sasha and Jesus here."

"And Enid…" added Maggie.

Carl turned to see Enid coming in through the front door. She glanced quickly at Carl and then addressed the group.

"Hey ummm…" she started slightly breathless.

"What's wrong?" Sasha asked.

"Nothing…just…" she looked at the floor a moment. Carl couldn't read her expression and immediately felt a little worried something had happened. "Come outside."

She turned and headed back out the door. Maggie led the way as they all followed Enid out into the sunlight. The light made the throbbing in Carl's head worsen and he was momentarily blinded by the bright sunlight but once he could focus he saw a group of about a dozen or so people grouped together at the bottom of the steps.

Maggie stepped forward to address them and a woman stepped towards her.

"So…" she started, "If you don't remember, I'm Bertie and I owe my life to you all…twice over. A bunch of us do. Enid says that you want Gregory to get us to fight the saviours with you. Is that true?"

Maggie didn't hesitate, "Yes."

"Do you think we could win?" Bertie asked, "That we really could beat them? Us?"

"I do," Maggie said confidently.

Bertie took a deep breath, "Enid says you could show us the way…I'm ready."

Several of the other Hilltop members agreed.

The hope that had almost flickered out with their failed meeting with Gregory was suddenly brought to life again.

" _So that's where she went. She knew Gregory would never agree so she went behind his back. Fuck she's so amazing…"_

He smiled at her and she blushed. She shrugged her shoulders like it was no big deal, but it was. At least it was to him. She had given them their first real fighting chance.

His dad and Michonne stepped down the stairs out onto the grass towards Maggie. Enid took a step down but Carl grabbed her hand and pulled her back.

She turned her face to look up at him, "Sorry I bailed on the meeting…but I started to think it was kind of hopeless asking him for help."

Carl interlaced their fingers, his thumb rubbing on the top of her hand. "You're amazing, you know that?"

She smiled and looked down at her feet. Carl felt a particularly painful throbbing behind his eye and gasped a little as his hand shot up to push against his temple.

"Carl what's wrong?" Enid asked stepping towards him, "Is it another headache?"

All he could do was nod, the pain was like a drill piercing his skull, "It's…I'll be…shit…" His eye clamped shut and his face scrunched together.

"It's OK Michonne, I got it…"

Carl didn't know what Enid was talking about but suddenly he felt Enid's fingers pressing on either side of his face, her thumbs pressing across his forehead. He felt his shoulders start to relax with every movement of her fingers. His hands subconsciously coming to rest on her hips as she worked.

After a few minutes, the pain was subdued enough that Carl could open his eye. He found her concerned hazel eyes staring back at him.

"Better?" she asked.

He nodded slightly, "Yeah…don't stop just yet…"

He let out a long breath and closed his eye gently as Enid continued to soothe his pain. He was starting to hear people around them talking again. Maggie explaining that she and Sasha could teach the people of the Hilltop how to defend themselves…how to fight.

Enid started to hum a pretty melody as her hands continued.

"What's that song?" Carl asked quietly, "I think…I've heard it before…"

Carl opened his eye again, Enid smiled. "I'm not sure what it's called actually…my grandparents used to always play it when we were over for the holidays. I don't know why I suddenly thought of it. Sorry…"

Carl smiled back, "No it's alright. It was nice."

Enid's hands came down to rest on either side of his face, "How do you feel now?"

He suddenly realized that his head didn't hurt anymore, "I don't know how you do that but you're a life saver." He leaned forward to kiss her but Michonne was suddenly beside them.

"Oh…sorry to interrupt…" Michonne said embarrassed.

Carl and Enid stepped apart slightly, Enid tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Carl…we've got to go now. Enid," Michonne turned to her and smiled. "Thank you for all your help." Michonne put her arms around Enid and hugged her tightly.

Enid couldn't help but smile at the gesture, "Oh, it's no big deal…" she said quietly.

Michonne pulled back and looked between the two of them. "It is a big deal…rallying these people and helping Carl just now, I just want you to know how much we appreciate you. All of us…" she looked over to where Rick was talking with Maggie and Rosita.

Carl felt a surge of love for Michonne. "And about earlier today…" Michonne continued. Carl felt his cheeks go warm and saw Enid's face turn pink. "I hope you don't think that we disapprove of you being together. We were just startled about how serious it was."

"Michonne its fine…we get it…" Carl said cringing.

Michonne seemed to get the point and closed her mouth, rethinking what she was going to say next.

"Come on then. Time to go."

"I'll walk you to the gate," Enid said grasping Carl's hand in her own. He felt her small fingers lace themselves between his. They followed Michonne and the others down the small hill towards the front gate.

"Well if we find the right stuff…maybe we don't need the numbers." Daryl was saying as they approached the gate. "Blow 'em up, burn 'em to the ground."

"You said there weren't just soldiers with the Saviours, that there were workers there. People didn't have a choice." Tara weighed in.

Carl could see the anger on Daryl's face, "Yeah but we gotta win…"

"We need more hands," his dad said. "Another group. Negan has outposts, the geography, the distance works against us. We've got to get back, they'll come looking for Daryl and we need to be there."

"You don't need to get back," Jesus said stopping them at the gate. "Not yet." He held up a walkie talkie. "It's one of theirs, long range. We can listen in and keep track of them."

"So if we're not going back, where are we doing?" Michonne asked.

Jesus smiled, "I think it's time I introduced you to Ezekiel…King Ezekiel."

Carl wasn't sure he had heard Jesus right.

"King?" his dad asked skeptically.

Jesus raised his hands, "I know it sounds ridiculous…and to be honest, it is, but yeah…King Ezekiel. I'll explain more on the way."

Enid leaned into Carl, "Did he seriously just say King Ezekiel?"

Carl shrugged his shoulders, "Yeah…I think he did…"

They looked at each other and both laughed. Carl saw the gates open behind them. Saw everyone turn to leave heading towards the van that brought them here. Carl felt Enid squeeze his hand in hers. He turned back around to face her. Her eyes were glassy as she looked up at his face, the sunlight making her face glow.

"I…," she whispered.

Carl couldn't help himself, he pulled her into his chest and wrapped his arms tightly around her, his one hand in her hair holding her face against his shoulder.

"Don't worry, I'll see you soon." He said quietly.

She looked up at him, "Promise me." Her face was so serious that Carl felt a little choked up. "I know I said before that you can't make promises these days…but promise me Carl. Promise me that you'll be OK, that I'll see you again."

He nodded, "I promise."

She pressed her face once again to his shoulder, "I love you."

Carl turned his face to kiss her gently on her forehead, "I love you too."

He touched his fingertips to her chin and tilted her face upwards. He pressed his lips to hers and felt his heart start to race. He didn't care that everyone was probably watching them, if this was going to be the last time he kissed her, he wanted to make it count.

A car engine starting pulled him out of the kiss and away from her. He felt slightly breathless as she opened her eyes to look up at him again. He traced her swollen lips with his thumb before pulling away towards the van. He felt her fingers cling to his for as long as possible as he walked away.

"I'll tell you all about King Ezekiel when I see you…" he called back to her and a sad smile spread across her face. He turned away and walked to the van, his lips still tingling from her kiss. He pulled himself in beside Michonne and Daryl.

As the van started to pull away he watched Enid for as long as possible as she stood watching them leave. He didn't take his eyes off her until finally the gates closed between them. Carl straightened out to face the front of the van as they hurried down the road. Jesus was giving his dad directions but wasn't really listening.

"Cheer up Carl," Michonne leaned over to say quietly, "You're about to go meet a King."

\\_/\\_/\\_/

Carl was still reeling from their meeting with the so called "King" Ezekiel. He wasn't really sure what to think of the whole thing to be honest. He had had to keep himself from laughing through half of their meeting.

It had been hard to look past the tiger at first. That had probably been the coolest thing he had seen since before the world had ended. He had never even seen a tiger in a zoo before and there he was standing in a room not fifty feet away.

" _Wait until Enid hears about this…she's not going to believe it…"_ he thought to himself.

Once he had gotten over the shock of the tiger though he had started to realize how utterly ridiculous everything else had been. The silly cartoonish backdrop of a castle behind them on their stage, the way they spoke like they were out of some medieval movie. He didn't know how his dad had done it but he had pled their case and now as he lay on his back in a bed at the Kingdom he hoped with everything he had that they would decide to help them.

They had eaten dinner with the other residents of the Kingdom earlier that evening. Carl was starting to realize just how dire Alexandria's food situation was in comparison to the Hilltop and the Kingdom. He hadn't eaten so well in weeks and almost didn't want to head home tomorrow knowing that he'd be going back to living off of canned vegetables and spam.

He had sat with one of the younger members of the "Kings Guard" at dinner. A teenager named Ben, and they had gotten along pretty well. Ben was only a few years older than him and it was nice to have someone close to his own age to talk to.

\\_/

"Morgan taught me how to fight with the staff. I'm getting pretty good at it I think…I'm no use at all with anything else. I have terrible aim with my gun. I mean, I keep it with me just in case but I can probably only hit one in ten targets and it just wastes ammo…"

Ben took a sip of water from his glass before continuing. "What about you? What's your weapon of choice?"

Carl swallowed a mouthful of cobbler, "Oh…ah…well, it use to be my gun but…I'm not really very good with it anymore after…"

He pointed to his face, trying to downplay his injury.

"That sucks…I didn't want to ask what happened. It seemed rude." Ben said sympathetically.

Carl shrugged, "It's alright, it's just frustrating not being able to do what I used to do really well you know?"

"When did it happen?" Ben asked.

Carl looked up as he thought, "Ummm…maybe just over a month ago now?"

"Oh…well I'm sure you'll get your aim back. You just need to practice."

"Yeah, I guess so…"

He paused as he took another bite of his dessert.

"Hey," Ben said leaning towards him, "I think Sarah likes you…"

"Huh?" Carl asked surprised, nearly choking on his cobbler.

Ben pointed discretely at a pretty blonde girl sitting a few tables away. She couldn't have been any older than fourteen, her big green eyes quickly lowering to the table when Carl looked over.

"Oh…" Carl felt his face flush. He felt Ben nudge him in the ribs.

"I could introduce you later if you want?" Ben asked him smiling.

Carl couldn't help but feel a smile creep onto his face as he shook his head, "Oh no…that's alright…I uh…I have a girlfriend actually…"

Ben leaned back, "Oh alright, right on. What's her name?"

Enid's hazel eyes flashed before Carl as he thought about her "Her name's Enid. She used to live with us but now she's staying at the Hilltop."

Ben's eyebrows knit together, "Why did she move?"

Carl took a deep breath, "She wanted to be there for Maggie, another person in our family. But Maggie's pregnant and needs to stay there so she's close to a doctor."

Ben looked confused, "You guys don't have a doctor?"

Carl shook his head, "We had one, she fixed up my face when it happened, but the Saviours…they killed her just over a week ago…"

"Oh man," Ben said quietly, "I'm sorry, that sucks."

Carl was quiet for a while, he was thinking about how he had never really gotten the chance to thank Denise for saving him and now he never could.

"So…" Ben said, "Tell me about Enid. What's she like? How long have you been together?"

He was obviously trying to distract Carl by changing the subject, "Oh…she's great, amazing actually. She's strong and beautiful and…I don't know…she gets me somehow. We've been through a lot of the same things."

Carl realized he was suddenly smiling like crazy. Ben smiled back.

"She sounds great, I hope I get to meet her someday."

Carl jutted his chin at Ben, "What about you? You got a girlfriend?" Carl shoveled another large bit of dessert into his mouth.

Ben's smile turned sad, "I did, but…"

Carl stopped chewing, "Is she dead?"

Ben nodded slowly his eyes closing for just a moment.

"I'm sorry," Carl said swallowing, "I didn't mean to say it so bluntly…"

Carl felt terrible. He had just been trying to be friendly. He liked Ben, he hadn't really had many young people to talk to other than Enid and Mikey. It was nice to talk about things that would've been considered "normal".

Ben shook his head, "Naw, it's OK man, you didn't know."

"Was it a walker?"

"Yeah it was," Ben said quietly, "Snuck up behind her, right on the shoulder…there was nothing I could do except make sure she didn't turn."

Carl realized that he and Ben had a lot more in common than he original thought.

"What was her name?"

"Jenna," Ben said and smiled widely. "She had the most amazingly wild red hair and a killer body. Huge…" Ben held up his hands in front of his chest like he was holding imaginary breasts.

Carl laughed, "Nice."

"So how long have you and Enid been together?" Ben asked as he raised his water glass to his lips.

"Well, it all just kind of happened like a week or so ago. We were arguing and I guess I just started kissing her."

Ben laughed, "I guess that's one way to stop an argument huh?"

"Carl!"

Carl heard his father's voice over the noise of the dining hall. His dad and Michonne were standing at the end of the table. Rick gestured for Carl to come over.

"Sorry…" he said as he stood up.

He walked over to where they were standing.

"What's up?" he asked them.

"Morgan has arranged for the doctor here to take a look at your eye."

Carl was confused, "Why?"

Michonne placed her hand on his shoulder, "We just want to make sure it's healing OK, that nothing's infected or anything. Ask him about your headaches…"

"It's fine…I'm fine…"

"Carl…" his dad spoke up, "Please, just…do this for me OK? We don't have a doctor at home, and right now…it's not easy to get someone to a doctor. We just want to make sure everything is healing alright."

Carl was going to argue but thought better of it and closed his mouth.

"Yeah…alright then. When?"

"First thing tomorrow morning," Michonne said smiling.

\\_/

Carl lay staring at the dark ceiling dreading his visit to the doctor in the morning. What if something was wrong with him? What if the headaches were a sign of a terrible infection?

" _I should have been better at keeping the bandages clean…"_ he thought angrily.

He shook his head, his hand coming up to the touch the bandage over his eye. He wondered if there would ever be a time when he wouldn't notice the injury anymore, if ever he would be so used to it that he forgot about it for days at a time.

" _You forgot about it almost all of last night and this morning when you were with Enid,"_ he reminded himself. _"Although I guess she was a pretty good distraction…"_

His lips started to burn as he thought about her kissing him. He closed his eye as he thought about her pushing him down onto the bed at Hilltop and trailing her lips down his chest, over his stomach and down onto his…

" _Fuck…"_ he was hard already just thinking about her.

He took a quick glance around the room, making sure the door was shut and, letting out a long deep breath, reached his hand down slipping it underneath his boxers.


	18. Chapter 18

Author's Note: Hope you enjoy this one

Chapter 18:

The doctor at the Kingdom was nice enough when Carl met with him to have his eye looked at the next morning. He was fairly young, around his dad's age probably but not as worn from the stress of living in the outside world. His name was Dr. Ryan Goddard. He complimented Denise's work, all things considered, and didn't find any sources of infection but he did give Carl some antibiotics just in case.

"The headaches are likely just due to the trauma of the injury." He told him, Rick and Michonne.

"I mean," he continued, "It's a pretty substantial wound, you're lucky you weren't killed to be honest."

Carl looked down at his hands, "Do you think I'll be able to get my aim back?"

"You're aim?" he asked confused.

Carl blushed, "Yeah, like shooting a gun."

Dr. Goddard was writing on a clipboard and shrugged, "I don't see why not. You probably had to practice a lot when you had both eyes, so now you just have to practice now that you're missing one. Depth perception will always be a bit of an issue but you'll adapt, I have no doubt. You're still young too so that helps."

Carl smiled feeling hopeful about his disability for the first time.

"So," Michonne started, "do you think the headaches will go away eventually?"

He stopped writing on his clipboard and looked up at them, "I think so. It's impossible to say definitively without doing an MRI, and even though I've got a good set up here, you can probably tell I don't have access to one of those. Post traumatic headaches due to head injuries will usually go away after a few months. If they haven't gone away after a year though, then we're probably looking at a more chronic problem."

He could tell that what he'd said had worried them, "No sense is worrying about that though until you need to. Everything is looking good so far. Just make sure you keep the bandages as clean as you can. I'll give you some painkillers for the headaches though. I have an eyepatch too if you'd like it for later down the road?"

"No!" Carl said a little too quickly.

The doctor looked slightly startled, "No?"

"I mean," Carl said looking at Rick and Michonne, "I don't really know if an eyepatch is really my style…it reminds me too much of someone."

Carl saw Rick and Michonne glance at each other quickly and Dr. Goddard raised his eyebrow at him.

"Ok," he said slowly handing Carl a small bottle of pills, "No eyepatch then. It's here if you change your mind though. Do you have any other questions?"

Rick looked at Michonne and then shook his head, "No…I don't think so. Thanks for all your help, we really appreciate all you've done."

Dr. Goddard smiled, "My pleasure."

"Come on Carl…" Michonne said holding open the door for Rick to walk through.

Something quickly occurred to Carl at that moment but he didn't want his parents around when he asked.

"Dad, Michonne…do you mind if I talk to the doctor…alone for a minute?"

Rick and Michonne looked at each other, "Yeah…sure Carl…we'll just be outside OK?" Michonne said pushing Rick out the door.

Carl waited for the door to close, he could already feel his neck start to burn with embarrassment. He tucked the bottle of pills into his jeans pocket with a quiet rattle.

"So," Dr. Goddard started, "what did you want to talk about?" he asked sitting down on the stool in front of him.

"Well…" Carl started, twisting his hands, "It's a little embarrassing…"

The doctor smiled kindly, "Don't worry, I've heard it all…no judgements here and I won't tell anyone anything you tell me."

Carl felt his shoulders relax a little, "I wanted to ask…if it's possible…if you could…give me some condoms?"

The doctor raised his eyebrows with surprise, "Oh…yeah sure." He stood up and bent down to open a small cupboard behind him. He turned around and handed Carl a rectangular blue box. Carl took it in his hands and then tucked it into the back of his jeans, making sure his shirt came down to cover it.

"Are you having sex?" Dr. Goddard asked sitting back down.

Carl nodded.

"Did you use protection then?"

Carl nodded again.

"How many partners have you had?"

Carl was confused for a moment, and felt his forehead wrinkle. Then finally it clicked together, "Oh! No…just the one…my girlfriend."

The doctor smiled, "How long have you two…?"

Carl cleared the lump in his throat, "Just…just since two days ago actually…"

"And do you have any questions about anything?" he asked sincerely.

Carl rubbed his hand on the back of his neck ruffling his hair, "I don't think so…I think we've got it figured out. I had a question though about…babies."

Dr. Goddard raised his eyebrows, "Well…if you used protection and it was only two days ago, she very likely wouldn't know yet if she was pregnant…"

"No! no…" Carl interrupted, "Not about Enid…well…maybe…I…"

He was having trouble trying to articulate what he wanted to ask. He took a deep breath and composed what he wanted to say in his head. He was thankful that the doctor was patient with him.

"When my mom was having my sister, something went wrong, she started bleeding when the baby was coming and my friend had to cut her open to get Judith out. We didn't have a doctor, or painkillers, or anything…just a knife…"

Understanding crossed over Dr. Goddard's face, "Carl I'm sorry."

Carl shook his head, "I guess my question is…is that normal?"

" _I could never forgive myself if I got Enid pregnant by accident and she died."_ He thought to himself.

Dr. Goddard thought for a moment, "Well, I'm not an expert but no, I wouldn't say that that's normal. Most women have perfectly healthy deliveries, but some may need a little or a lot of help. Giving birth is by no means an easy process as it's not a secret that it's very painful but women are tough and they do just fine. Otherwise our species would have died out thousands of years ago. Every once in a while something can go wrong, the baby is upside down or sideways or gets stuck and they need to have a c-section to help get the baby out, but with the proper equipment and a doctor they would likely make a full recovery."

Carl felt a little bit better, "Thanks."

Dr. Goddard stood up, "Anything else?"

Carl shook his head, "No, I think I'm good. Thanks again for the…ah…"

He waved his hand, "No problem, its good you're smart enough to be safe about it."

Carl hopped down off the table and opened the door to the hallway. He pressed gently on the door to the front entrance of the building but felt the door give way underneath him and he stumbled forward bumping into someone he couldn't see on his right side.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" a female voice said holding onto Carl's right arm to steady him.

Carl turned his head and came face to face with a brilliant pair of green eyes.

"It's alright," he said backing up a bit.

It was the girl that Ben had pointed out to him at dinner the night before. Her green eyes were framed by her blonde hair braided down the back of her head and hanging down over her right shoulder.

"Sorry, the spring on that door doesn't work properly and I always open it way too fast." She said very quickly.

Carl couldn't help but smile, "No it's OK, don't worry about it."

"You're Carl right?" she asked.

"Yeah?" he wondered if Ben had told her his name.

"I'm Sarah," she said her cheeks turning slightly pink until her tan. "Are you and your family going to be staying here?"

Carl thought she sounded hopeful, "Ah…no we have a home, we just came to talk to…King Ezekiel about….ummm….trading with us."

Her smile fell a little, "Oh, that's too bad."

Carl looked away for a moment and spotted Rick and Michonne standing in the shade of the morning light a little ways away. They were talking but were looking over to where he was standing.

"Did my dad help you out?" she said suddenly.

Carl felt his face wrinkle with confusion, "Your dad?"

She smiled again, "Dr. Goddard is my dad."

"Oh!" he exclaimed finally catching on. "Yeah, he's really nice for seeing us. He didn't have to do that."

Her face lit up with pride like a Christmas tree.

"Carl!" he heard his dad call him from across the yard.

"Sorry, but I've got to go." He said shuffling around her through the door. His hip bumped against the door frame and he felt the box of condoms on his back shift and fall to the ground with a clatter.

"Oh…here…" he heard Sarah say as she quickly bent down to grab it.

Carl closed his eye and sighed as he waited for her to realize what he had dropped. He heard her pick up the box and after a few moments he opened his eye to find her reading the package, her face going red.

She looked up at him quickly, her mouth open a little, and then handed him the box.

"Here…I…sorry…" she stammered clearly embarrassed.

Carl grabbed the box quickly out of her hands and shoved it back into the back of his jeans. "Thanks…I, uh…I have a girlfriend…" he blurted. He wasn't sure why he'd said it. He guessed he needed to give her a reason why he would be carting around a box of condoms.

"Oh…" she said quietly.

Carl felt his face going red, "Yeah, that's why I have…uh…"

" _What are you doing?"_ he yelled at himself.

"Carl! We have to get going!" Rick yelled again.

Sarah raised her dark blonde eyebrows at him.

"I have to go…sorry…" he said turning to back away from her. He walked quickly down the front steps of the building to where his parents were standing. He could feel Sarah's eyes following him and he touched his hand to his forehead as he shook out his embarrassment.

He sidled up next to Michonne who was smirking at him.

"What?" he asked her a little too forcefully.

She raised her hands in surrender, "Nothing! Just wondering if you made a new friend is all."

Carl could feel his face burning, "I don't think so…more that I made an idiot out of myself."

They started to walk to the main courtyard, Carl following his dad as Richard led the way. Carl looked around and saw children and other people his age training with bows and arrows. He noticed that several of them were missing limbs but that they still managed to hit their targets accurately.

" _If they can do it without arms and legs…"_ he thought optimistically, _"Maybe everyone's right. Maybe Enid's right…maybe I just need to keep practising…"_

They came to a stop as they found King Ezekiel standing watching the kids practice. Carl spotted Ben practising with his staff over to the side and gave him a quick wave and a smile.

"This is life here," Ezekiel said. "Every day, but it came at a cost. I wanted more of this, I wanted to expand, to create more places like this. Men and women lost their limbs, children lost their parents because I sent them into battle against the wasted when I did not need to…"

Carl felt his stomach drop, they were going to turn them down. They wouldn't help them after all. He felt his hands clench in anger. This had all been for nothing.

"This is different," his dad said stepping forward.

"It isn't."

"It is," continued Rick, "the dead don't rule us. The world doesn't look like this outside your walls, people don't have it as good, some people don't have it good at all…"

The King sighed, "I have to worry about my people."

His dad reluctantly stood down.

"You call yourself a damn King?" Daryl said. "You sure as hell don't act like one."

King Ezekiel stepped towards Daryl slowly, "All of this came at a cost. It was lives, arms, legs…" he turned and walked back around to face Rick, "The peace we have with the Saviours is uneasy but it's peace. I have to hold onto it. I have to try."

He took a step back to address them all at once, "Although the Kingdom cannot grant you the aid you desire, the King is sympathetic to your plight. I offer our friend Daryl asylum, for as long as he requires it."

Carl felt confused again, _"What the hell does that mean?"_ he thought. He locked eyes with Tara who recognized the confusion on his face and mouthed, "safety".

Carl nodded in understanding. He didn't want Daryl to stay here, they had only just gotten him back. They needed him to fight with them.

"He will be safe here, the Saviours do not set foot inside our walls."

"How long do you think that's gonna last?" Daryl asked before turning away.

Carl's hands were still clenched, "I can't believe we wasted a whole day with this bullshit…" he muttered to Tara who was walking next to him.

"Well…" she said brightly, "it was worth a try…maybe they'll change their minds."

" _Always the optimist…"_ Carl thought.

They were all heading towards the front gates when he heard his name.

"Carl!"

He stopped and turned around to find Ben running up towards them.

"Hey man…I'm sorry. I tried to convince Ezekiel to fight with you. I thought I had convinced him." Ben said slightly breathless.

Carl's hands unclenched a little, "Well thanks I guess…"

Ben nodded his head towards the rest of his family, "What are you guys going to do now?"

Carl shrugged, "We're fighting them with or without the help from the Kingdom."

Ben's face dropped, "Yeah I thought as much. Be careful OK?" Ben reached out his hand to him.

Carl nodded and grasped Ben's hand to shake it, "Yeah…you too."

Carl turned away and jogged a little to catch up with the group.

"I'll see you around!" he heard Ben call from behind him.

Carl didn't turn around, _"Probably not…I'll probably be dead."_

As the gates opened Carl looked around one last time and saw Sarah with her dad on the front porch of the main building. Her gaze found his for a brief moment and she raised her hand in a small wave, a sad smile on her face. Carl tentatively waved back and then followed the others out the way they came.


	19. Chapter 19

Author's Note: Sorry it's taken me so long to get a chapter up. I've been ridiculously sick…then the baby got sick and anyways here it is. This chapter ended up way longer than I thought it would so I split it into two. The other half/chapter should be up in a few days and will contain some mild smut.

Chapter 19:

Carl couldn't help but feel nervous as they sped along down the highway with him practically sitting on a giant pile of dynamite. Although, he admitted to himself, these days getting blown up would probably be one of the quickest and more painless ways to die. As they drove and his heart hammered away in his chest he admitted to himself that he was starting to enjoy the adrenaline rush.

"Carl, you alright?" his dad asked him. He could obviously see the nervousness and excitement on his face.

He nodded back, "Yeah."

Before he knew it the Alexandria gates were coming into view. They decided to hide the truck a ways into the trees behind one of the burned down and abandoned houses outside of their walls.

"They'll be coming to look for Daryl," his dad said as they pushed the van down a dried up ravine. "We don't want this stuff inside the walls when they come."

With one last shove the van rolled away from them and Carl heard Tara call from the road that she could no longer see the van.

"Carl," his dad said placing his hand on his shoulder, "Leave the gun that Michonne gave you out here too. If they see any of us with guns…"

Carl felt his face darken, "Yeah, I know."

He pulled the gun out of the holster strapped to his leg and placed it with the safety on, in the pocket of the driver's door. His dad followed suit by putting his gun in the glove compartment. He felt his dad give him a pat on the shoulder and together they walked up the small hill back towards the road and the Alexandria gates.

They had only taken a few steps into the gates when Carl heard the sound of approaching trucks and motorcycles. He looked over at his dad and they both backed up as the saviours pulled into Alexandria.

He looked over at Tara who glanced back at him quickly as Simon jumped down out of the passenger side of a large truck.

"Rick! Hello!" he said jovially, and gestured to the others, "And hello again."

"We thought it'd be longer," his dad said back.

Simon stopped in front of his dad, "Do you think we're here for a tribute? Do you?"

"Is there another reason?" asked Rick.

Simon smiled widely, "There is. We're here for Daryl."

"But Negan took Daryl." His dad said. Carl admitted he was doing a pretty good job at lying.

Simon leaned back, "But…then your son showed up…Daryl went missing…might those two things be connected?"

Carl glared at Simon and was about to say something in his defense but his dad was on top of it.

"They're not. We didn't know he was gone until right now."

Simon took a menacing step forward smiling widely, "Then this should be easy."

He looked over at the others, "Now…everyone find a buddy. You're going to have to follow us around. If he's here…We really need y'all to see him die."

Simon gestured back at the other Saviours to start spreading out. Simon walked towards Carl and flicked the brim of his hat as he walked by.

" _Fuck I hate this guy…first chance I get I'm going to fucking kill him. He's right in line after Negan."_ Carl thought to himself trying to calm the rage that was brewing in the pit of his stomach.

The blonde Saviour, Brent, that had driven with him and Negan the other day was assigned to follow Carl around.

"Let's go kid…" he said.

Even though Carl felt a burning hatred for every Saviour he met, there was something about this guy that he didn't think was all that bad. Something in the way that Brent looked uncomfortable ordering him around made him feel the tiniest bit of sympathy for him…barely.

Carl walked in his front door and walked over towards the sofa. He casually laid back and put his feet up on the coffee table in front of him.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Brent asked mildly annoyed.

Carl took his hat off and he rested his head against the arm of the sofa, "I'm not doing anything. You guys are the ones searching for someone who isn't here…so…go ahead. Search away…but you are dead wrong if you think I'm going to help you tear my home apart."

Brent looked like he was going to say something but then stopped, he started up the stairs but Carl heard someone come in the door behind him. It was Davey, the asshole who had taken all their medicine, who had threatened him, who had creeped on Enid to get back at Carl…

"Well well well…I couldn't miss out on coming back here to see you little man."

"The fuck are you doing here?" Carl asked jumping to his feet. He felt the handle of his knife in his hand and gripped it hard.

Davey took a few steps towards him, "Looking for that little bitch Daryl…although to be honest, I'm more interested in looking for that little girlfriend of yours."

Carl felt his face start to burn with anger, "You stay away from her!"

Davey smiled, Carl could smell his putrid breath from where he was standing and almost gagged.

"So…where is she then?"

Carl took a step forward, pulling his knife halfway out of its sheath. What was he going to say? He couldn't tell them where Enid had gone, he had to keep their allegiance with Hilltop a secret and he had to keep Enid safe. He was beginning to think that telling him Enid had died was the only way to get out of this.

"Davey, what the fuck are you doing down there? You going to help me or not?" Brent called down the stairs.

Carl stopped and leaned back, pushing his knife back down. Davey's smiled vanished into a grimace.

"Yeah…yeah I'm coming…" he called up the stairs.

Carl let out a long breath as he backed up and sat back down on the couch. His head was starting to pound a bit but he didn't want to risk taking one of his painkillers while the Saviours were here so he just laid down and pressed his fingers to his temples trying to replicate Enid's magic touch.

After about ten minutes and a lot of crashing and banging from upstairs, Brent and Davey stomped down the stairs and Carl stood up and placed his hat on his head.

"Come on kid…you've got to come with us…" Brent said gesturing to the door. Carl made his way over but Davey was once again in front of him.

" _OK seriously? This fucktard is going to get blown to bits the second I get the chance…"_ Carl thought angrily.

"I want your hat." Davey said smirking.

Carl didn't even know how to respond. His mouth dropped open slightly with shock, "What?"

"Your hat, I want it. Hand it over."

"No." he said dangerously. His head was starting to throb again.

Brent shoved Davey in the shoulder, "Dude, the fuck is wrong with you? Leave the kid alone man. Besides, Negan likes him…"

Carl blinked hard at Brent. Was this guy actually standing up for him?

Davey sucked on his teeth and backed up. Brent pushed him towards the door with a hard shove.

"Come on kid…let's go."

Carl followed behind Brent and Davey as they walked down the streets of Alexandria. Carl could see Rosita with her arms crossed watching several men go through the cars that they had lined up by the entrance. He looked to the left and saw Simon and his father along with a few other Saviours walking ahead of them. They were headed towards Olivia and Enid's house.

Carl was relieved when Brent and Davey headed the same way as Simon and his dad. When they walked up he noticed that the garage door to the pantry was wide open and as he got even closer realized that every shelf inside was empty.

" _What the fuck? Where did everything go?"_ he thought to himself.

"Wow," Simon said walking into the garage, "these are some bare shelving units. Did you guys have a barbecue or something and not invite us?"

Carl looked around to see the stunned looks on everyone's faces. Apparently it was not intentional that everything was missing.

"This is sad," Simon continued, "I hope you're not trying to hide stuff from us because that generally doesn't go over very well."

"We have a lot of people," Aaron chimed in, "It's getting harder to find stuff and our focus lately has been on finding things that Negan might want. We're still adjusting to the new system."

"We were going to scavenge more today," Rick said, "If you just wait, we'll bring something back, we'll find more…"

"Awww," Simon laughed, "Relax! I'm not here for a pick up. Good thing, but that day is coming so you best do whatever you need to. Dig deep, go the extra mile, take some risks!" he said slamming his hands down enthusiastically on the shelf in front of him.

Carl almost laughed, _"Is this guy for real? Seriously, the first chance I get, I'm taking this mother fucker down!"_

"We will," Michonne said loudly.

Simon turned to look at her, "Well we will appreciate that!"

Simon started to head back towards the front gates and Carl followed along with the others but Michonne turned towards him and placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Carl, I spoke to Jeanine, she's been watching Judith. I told her to bring her back to the house. Can you go there for me?"

Carl looked over at the others. He wanted to go with his dad, but Michonne's face was very serious.

"Yeah…" he said slowly, "Yeah of course."

She touched her hand gently to the side of his face and then turned and jogged to catch up with the group.

Carl was walking past the infirmary when he heard it. Someone was crying. He walked towards the open front door to find the infirmary completely torn apart. Tara was sitting on the floor, her back against the wall. She was sobbing into her hands, her knees pulled into her chest.

"Tara?" he said quietly.

She gasped as she looked up. Her eyes were swollen and red, her face splotchy and wet.

"Carl…I was just…I…"

She shook her head and soon was crying again. Carl walked over to where she was sitting and sat down next to her. He gently placed his arms around her as she cried. She turned her face into his shoulder, her body shaking.

For a long time he sat with her amongst the ruins of what used to be Denise's things. Eventually her sobs became fewer and quieter. Her shoulders relaxed and she wiped her face on the sleeve of her shirt.

"Carl I…" she started.

"Tara it's alright. You don't have to say anything." He said trying to put a cheerful smile on his face.

She gave him a watery smile back, "Thanks." She looked around the room and let out a long sigh. "Oh man, I don't even know where to start cleaning up."

Carl stood up and reached his hands out to her, "Come on…I'll help clean the place up."

They spent the next fifteen minutes or so cleaning up the broken glass and righting the furniture back to where it was supposed to be.

"Where does this go?" Carl asked picking up a small bobble head figurine of a doctor from under the window. He held it out to show Tara and he saw her smile sadly.

She walked over, broom in hand and reached out for the figurine. "I was going to give this to Denise when I got back from the run with Heath…but I never got to give it to her."

"I think she would have liked it," Carl said softly, "Why don't you put it over the fireplace in the living room?" he suggested.

Tara nodded and headed through the doors to the living room. He finished dumping the broken glass into a plastic recycling bin by the door.

"Thanks Carl…that helps me out a lot."

Carl smiled, "No problem, I have to get going though. I need to look after Judith."

She nodded, "OK see you later."

Carl slowly made his way back to his house. He opened the front door and headed up the stairs to his room. His belongings had been throw everywhere. He quickly checked his secret hiding spot in the closet which luckily they hadn't found.

" _Seriously…I'm getting tired of constantly getting shit thrown around. I mean did they really think he'd be hiding out here anyways?"_ he yelled internally kicking one of his pillows across the room.

Carl walked across the hall and checked Judith's room, she wasn't there but surprisingly nothing in her room had been touched. It was almost like no one had bothered to look in there.

" _Brent probably checked this room…you know I'm going to feel a little bad if I have to kill him…"_

On his way down the stairs to the front door Jeanine appeared in the door frame with Judith in her arms. Seeing her made him immediately smile, and when her eyes met his she smiled and reached out her hands towards him.

He took her in his arms and squeezed her gently, inhaling her smell. Baby powder and lavender.

"Is everything OK? You all were gone longer than we thought you would be." She asked pulling the strap of the diaper bag over her shoulder to set it down on the kitchen counter.

"Yeah, we met another community and we stayed there for a bit." He wasn't sure how much he should be telling her as he didn't think most of the Alexandrians were aware that they planned on fighting back.

"Who are they looking for?" she asked stricken.

Carl bounced Judith up and down in his arms, "Daryl…apparently he escaped."

"Oh…and they really think he'd come back here?"

Carl smiled, "Well…no one said they were smart."

"I would have brought this little angel back sooner but she fell asleep at our place. Rule number one: Never wake a sleeping baby right?"

Carl nodded, "Yeah thanks. I was helping Tara clean up the mess the Saviours left anyways."

She smiled at him, gave Judith a quick kiss on the head and patted Carl on the back and left.

Carl felt Judith wrap her fingers around a strand of his hair.

"Come on pretty girl…let's get you something to eat."

\\_/\\_/\\_/

Carl was sitting in the living room, the silent baby monitor on the table next to him. His dad, Michonne, Aaron, Tara and Rosita had left to find father Gabriel after they discovered a cryptic note in the armory.

"I need to be doing…something…" he said aloud to himself. He clenched his hands and stood up. He clipped the baby monitor onto his belt and walked out the front door. The night was dark with only a sliver of moon peeking through the clouds overhead.

He walked quietly down through the streets of Alexandria. He wasn't sure what he was looking for really, more that he just needed to be moving. Judith had been a bit cranky and once she had finally fallen asleep he had hoped to accomplish something but had no idea what he could even do.

He passed the house that had belonged to Olivia, where Enid used to live, the rooms dark and silent. He stopped in front of the house for a moment. He silently wished that Enid's face would appear in the dark window. That she had come back, that she was waiting for him to find her.

The longer he stood there though the more he realized that he was kidding himself. A cool breeze raced through his shirt and he felt goosebumps sprout up and down his arms.

He turned away from the house thinking of heading back home when he saw it. Eugene's house was directly across the street from Olivia and Enid's place. The door was closed but there was a small red light flashing through the front window.

He pulled his knife out of its sheath and crossed the street and climbed the stairs to the front door. He gently turned the door knob and the door opened with a quiet creak. He lifted his knife and squinted down the dark front hallway.

He knocked three times on the wall out of habit. He figured the house was empty but these day you never knew and his dad had taught him to always be cautious. He turned around the corner into the kitchen and realized that the flashing red light was coming from the timer on the stove. The clock was flashing 12:00 and Carl figured there must have been a power surge and reset all the clocks in the house.

He was overcome with disappointment. He hadn't really expected anything life altering to be at Eugene's house but suddenly being inside the empty house with all of Eugene's strange things made him sad. He walked over to the where the light switch was on the wall and flicked it on.

The kitchen and living room were cluttered with random junk. There was an old radio on the dining table with half of its pieces neatly lined up in rows beside it. A pad of paper on the table led Carl to believe that Eugene had been trying to fix it. A large water jug with a bunch of hoses and bags was hooked up next to the kitchen. Another sheet of paper was taped to the outside of the jug that read "Water Filtration System". Lastly, there was a large box of old gears, pipes and wires in a laundry basket on the coffee table next to the couch. There was no note attached to this one and Carl had no idea what it was meant for. He picked up one of the pipes in his hand. It was hollow inside but there was nothing extraordinary about it.

He placed it back down in the basket and walked back towards the front door. He flicked the light switch and the kitchen was thrust back into darkness. As his hand lingered for a moment on the wall something caught his eye. He looked back at the stove where the clock was still flashing and realized that the microwave clock was still set to the right time.

"Can't have been a power surge if this is still working…" he said into the darkness.

He walked over to the stove and pressed the timer button and reset the clock to the same as the microwave. As he backed away his fingers felt something crinkle as they ran along the front edge of the stove.

"What the hell…?"

There was a piece of paper folded up and poking out of the oven door. Carl pulled the door open and several pieces of paper folded together like a booklet fell down into the base of the oven. Carl reached in and pulled it out towards him. He walked over to the light switch and turned it on. He opened up the folded paper and felt his eyebrow almost disappear into his hair as he read the first lines of Eugene's handwriting.

 _How to Make Pipe-Bombs_

Carl blinked several times and then felt a huge smile spread across his face as he looked over to the basket of pipes and wires in the living room.

"Holy shit!" he said loudly.

He looked back down at the papers that Eugene had hidden and saw that he had written out all the instructions for how to build pipe-bombs along with what tools were needed to do it. The last page was a map of Alexandria with markers for where to best place the bombs in case of an attack.

" _This is a game changer…"_ Carl thought to himself, _"If I can make these and set them up, it'll give us that much better of a chance against Negan…"_

He walked towards the basket in the living room but the baby monitor suddenly sprang to life as Judith started to cry.

"Shit…" he whispered, "I'll come back later."

He tucked the folded papers into his pocket, turned off the kitchen light and headed home.

\\_/\\_/\\_/

As Carl sat in the dark rocking Judith back to sleep in his arms his mind was racing with what he had discovered back at Eugene's house. He wondered why he had put the instructions in the stove.

" _Maybe he hid them when the Saviours came…maybe he reset the stove timer so someone would notice and come looking…so someone could figure it out…"_

As Judith sucked her thumb with her face against his chest he felt his heart start to race. What was he going to do? Was he seriously going to make a bunch of pipe bombs? What if he screwed up the instructions? He'd have to find a place to make them far enough away from everyone that if he screwed it up no one else would get hurt.

He stood up and gently placed Judith back down in her crib. She turned over onto her stomach and Carl could hear the faintest of snores. He smiled and backed out of the room as quietly as possible.

He headed back over to Eugene's house reading the list of necessary tools on the way.

"Carl? What are you doing over here?"

Carl whipped around to find Mikey sitting on his front steps.

"Oh, hey…" Carl said trying to sound casual, "What's up?"

Mikey stood up and crossed his arms across his chest, "Why are you going to Eugene's house?"

"Oh…ah, my dad said that…Eugene left something there for him and…he wanted me to get it for him."

Mikey walked down the steps towards him, "In the middle of the night?"

"Oh…yeah well…Judith kept me pretty busy all day so…" he said trying to think on the spot.

Mikey stepped closer to him, "Carl…" he said annoyed, "Don't treat me like an idiot. I know you guys are up to something."

Carl suddenly felt bad for lying. He hadn't spent a huge amount of time with Mikey but now that Ron was dead and Enid was gone, he realized that there wasn't really anyone else around that Mikey could talk to.

"You're planning on fighting back against Negan aren't you?" he asked looking Carl in the eye.

Carl didn't want to lie anymore, it was exhausting. "Listen…" he started taking a few steps towards Mikey and lowering his voice. "If I tell you everything, you can't tell anyone. Not even your mom."

Mikey's face lit up in the darkness, "Yeah man of course, I won't tell anyone."

"I could actually use your help, but I have to be honest…it'll be fucking dangerous." Carl said raising his eyebrow.

"Like…we could die dangerous?" Mikey asked seriously.

Carl nodded.

"Bring it on man." Mikey said pushing past Carl up the steps and into Eugene's house.

Carl couldn't help but smile as he followed Mikey through the dark door.


	20. Chapter 20

*Author's Note: Please forgive my lack of concrete knowledge on how to make pipe bombs but…I really don't want homeland security knocking down my door based on googling "how to make pipe bombs" lol please use your imaginations.

Chapter 20:

"So…what exactly am I looking at?" Mikey asked bewildered.

Carl stood next to Mikey in the dark living room of Eugene's house in front of the basket of pipes and wires. Carl pulled the folded papers from his pocket and handed them to Mikey to read for himself.

"How to make…" he read quietly and then looked up at Carl. "Holy shit…is this for real?"

Carl nodded and picked up one of the empty pipes from the basket, "Yeah…it's real."

Mikey flipped through the pages, looking up every now and again at the basket in front of them.

"We'll have to find a place to make these. We can't do it inside the walls," Carl said quietly. "If something goes wrong we can't risk anyone else getting hurt."

Mikey nodded, "Yeah. Do you have any idea where we could go? I don't…" he stopped for a minute, "my mom doesn't let me go outside the walls."

Carl suddenly realized that he was somewhat lucky. Lucky that he had been able to learn how to take care of himself in this new world, that he knew how to survive. Mikey, while being lucky enough to have had a place to live protected, also had the disadvantage of not learning how to fight back.

"Listen man, I can teach you how to fight and defend yourself…if you want to learn…" he said placing the pipe back down.

"You'd do that?" Mikey asked quietly.

"Yeah man," Carl said clapping Mikey on the back, "what are friends for?"

Mikey smiled and then nodded his head back to the basket on the coffee table. "So what's the plan then?"

Carl suddenly remembered the cottage where his dad and Carol had hid some guns when they first decided to stay at Alexandria.

"There's a small cottage not too far from here. Maybe a quarter mile away? It's perfect. It's out of sight and secluded so no one will stumble on us being there. We'll just need to make sure it's still clear of walkers."

Mikey nodded, "OK cool but how will we get there? There's always someone watching the gate now…"

Carl looked out the living room window at the walls around Alexandria and his heart pinched a little.

"We'll have to go over the walls…like Enid used to…" Carl said, "We can use some of the skinnier pipes to put through the holes and use them as a ladder."

Carl looked back at Mikey who was looking at the papers again. "Where is Enid anyways?" he asked suddenly looking up. "I haven't seen her in like a week…"

Carl felt his cheeks go warm, "Oh…she ah…she went to live with Maggie at Hilltop."

"What's going on with you two anyways?" Mikey asked raising an eyebrow.

Carl looked at the floor, "Uh…well…"

"Listen man, it's cool," Mikey interrupted. "I was never into her like that so don't feel like I'm jealous or anything. I mean, she was my friend but I'm more into blondes…"

Carl laughed loudly, "Well…in that case, she's…kind of my girlfriend now…"

Mikey nodded and smiled, "That's cool. Is she happy?"

Carl thought for a moment, "Yeah I think so..."

"Well I'm glad you're both happy. I mean, her and Ron…she never really seemed very into him you know? I think she was just using him as a distraction. I don't really even remember them ever…"

Carl suddenly felt conflicted. He felt a surge of confidence hearing that Enid had never really liked Ron as much as he thought she did but also bad that he had died the way he did. As much as he hated Ron for what he did to his face, he still had to watch his whole family die right before his eyes.

"Hey, it's alright. I don't need to hear it." Carl said quietly.

Mikey nodded and looked back to the papers in his hands. "So I think my dad has all these tools in the garage, I can work on sneaking them away when I get back tonight."

"What else do we need?" Carl asked looking over at the list.

"Gasoline, motor oil and shrapnel…"

"I've got the first two in our garage," Carl said, "…what can we use as shrapnel?" He looked around the dark living room and then suddenly remembered the plastic bin at Tara's full of broken glass. "Never mind, I think I know where we can get some…"

Mikey bent over to grab the handle of the basket, "We should move this to your place while it's still dark. Your house is on the end so it'll be easier to sneak out that way."

"If you can take this to my place, I'll go grab something we can use for shrapnel." Carl said heading for the door. "We'll meet up tomorrow morning and get started."

Mikey nodded and lifted the basket into his arms. Carl shut the front door behind him and watched as Mikey headed off down the street towards his house. Carl turned the other way and quietly made his way to what used to be the infirmary.

Tara was gone with his dad and Michonne looking for father Gabriel so he quietly ducked inside the dark house and grabbed the bin full of broken glass. When he got back to his own house, he found that Mikey had hidden the basket of pipes underneath some tarps in the garage. Carl added the plastic bin to the basket and then headed up the stairs to his room.

Carl suddenly realized just how tired he was and crawled into his makeshift bed only bothering to remove his boots. He pulled the baby monitor from his belt and laid it next to him on the floor. Judith was sleeping sweetly on her belly, her thumb stuck in her mouth.

\\_/\\_/\\_/

Carl had found his dad and Michonne talking excitedly in the kitchen the next morning, Michonne bouncing Judith in her arms.

"You're back? Did you find Gabriel?" he asked sleepily.

Rick looked at Michonne and smiled, "We found more than Gabriel…"

His dad had told him about the small army they had found and how they were willing to fight if they found enough guns for them.

His dad told Carl that he and Michonne would be going out searching for guns for the next few days and that he hoped that he was OK leaving him mostly in charge of watching over Judith.

"It's fine dad, really…"

"You say that, but I don't want you to resent me for always making you babysit." Rick said placing his hand on Carl's shoulder.

"I don't mind, honestly…but maybe I will ask Tara if she can trade off with me." He said thinking about needing to get away for a few hours to make the bombs with Mikey.

"Yeah of course, I'm sure she won't mind." Rick said smiling. "We'll see you in a few days OK? Stay safe."

"I will dad."

\\_/\\_/\\_/

Carl landed next to Mikey on the spongey ground outside the Alexandria walls, a backpack full of pipes, wires and broken glass strapped to his back. Mikey adjusted the straps of his backpack as he looked from side to side.

"I don't see any walkers…" he said sounding relieved.

"You have that knife I gave you handy?" Carl asked raising his eyebrow, "they can come out of nowhere…always have it ready."

Mikey nodded, "Alright…which way is that cottage?"

Carl pointed north, "I'm pretty sure it's this way, come on. It's not too far."

They walked through the trees for about fifteen minutes until a run down dilapidated cottage came into view ahead of them.

"There." Carl said.

They sped up a bit as they approached. When they reached the door, Carl knocked a few times to check and see if anything was inside but there was only silence.

"Were you expecting anyone to be home?" Mikey asked.

Carl shook his head, "No…but I always knock in case there's a walker inside. They'd be attracted to the sound."

"Oh…OK, gotcha…" Mikey said nodding.

Carl pushed open the door. The place reeked like rotten meat and mold. The light coming in through the grimy windows glittered with dust. He walked over to a long table and using his arm pushed everything off and onto the floor.

The two boys pulled off their bags and carefully emptied the contents out in neat piles on the table. Mikey laid out the instructions in front of them.

"Well…" Carl said slightly nervously, "Here goes nothing…"

They worked quietly for a while, following the instructions closely and triple checking every step. Carl was working on threading wires through the end caps as Mikey finished drilling holes through them.

"So…" Mikey said passing another cap towards Carl sitting at the end of the table.

Carl looked up at him, "so…what?"

Mikey shrugged, "How serious is it between you and Enid?"

Carl felt his mouth curl up at the side, "Ummm…pretty serious I guess…"

"Yeah?" Mikey asked and then pressed the drill loudly down through another end cap.

Carl felt his cheeks grow warm, "Yeah I mean…I love her. She's…she's amazing."

"Does she love you back?"

Carl nodded unable to keep his smile to himself.

"That's awesome man, it sucks she had to go live at Hilltop though. I mean it'll make your make out sessions pretty scarce…"

Carl lips were suddenly burning as he thought about Enid kissing him, his face growing hot as he thought about her naked body pressed against his, the way her lips parted and her eyes slowly closed as she climaxed…

Carl shook his head, "yeah it sucks."

Mikey was staring at him for a long time. "What?" Carl asked.

"Holy shit…you guys did stuff didn't you?"

Carl felt his face burn, "Maybe…"

Mikey put the drill down with a loud thud on the table. "Maybe? Like what? Did she let you touch her boobs? What base did you get to?"

Carl's forehead wrinkled, "Base?"

Mikey rolled his eyes, "Yeah…first base is making out, second base is touching, like you fingering her and she touches your dick…third base is oral sex and a home run is sex."

Carl laughed, "For real?"

Mikey blushed a bit, "Yeah I mean…that's what my brother told me anyways. He was a few years older than me…"

Carl saw Mikey's face darken, he didn't need to ask what had happened to his brother to know he was dead.

"Oh well…to tell you the truth…we had a home run," Carl said hoping this would distract Mikey from thinking about his brother.

Mikey's jaw dropped, "What? Are you telling me that you and Enid had sex?"

Carl pulled another wire through the hole in an end cap, "Yeah, a couple times now..."

Mikey leaned over the table, "No seriously…really?"

Carl nodded.

"Holy shit man! How was it?" Mikey asked excitedly.

Carl felt his mouth pull up into a smile at Mikey's enthusiasm, "It was awesome…like, honestly the greatest thing that's ever happened in my life."

Mikey smiled and slapped the table, "Oh man, that's crazy…was it awkward? I mean after? Wait…where did you two even?"

Carl proceeded to tell an enraptured Mikey about how he had accompanied Enid to the Hilltop, how they had gotten physical in the shed on the way there but had had no protection. How he had thought he was going to die going after Negan and how him and Enid had slept together for the first time when they were reunited at Hilltop. He told him about how she had snuck into his room the night they stayed over and how they hadn't been able to keep their hands off each other. How everyone had heard them and they were embarrassingly busted for it the next morning.

"Oh man!" Mikey said laughing, "That's hilarious! I mean it sucks for you guys…but haha oh my God talk about embarrassing!"

"Tell me about it…but at least it's out in the open now. I mean my dad isn't really happy about the idea but it's not like he can stop us anyways. He just wants to make sure we're being safe."

"Yeah I get that."

Carl cleared his throat, "OK you ready to start filling these things?"

Mikey let out a nervous sigh, "Ready as I'll ever be."

Carl filled each of the 12 pipes that they had with as much broken glass as he could while Mikey mixed together the combination of gasoline and motor oil. Carl's hands were shaking slightly as Mikey gently poured the mixture into the pipes. Carl took the end caps with the wire and slowly twisted the cap on making sure not to tighten them too much.

When they were all done Carl and Mikey stood back staring at the 12 deadly bombs that they had made.

"Should we test one?" Mikey asked.

Carl shook his head, "I don't think we should, the sound might draw walkers and that's the last thing we need right now is a herd showing up…"

Mikey nodded, "Here, we still need to put these on…"

Mikey handed Carl a bunch of battery packs with antennae.

"What's this for? This wasn't in the instructions was it?"

"No…this…this was my idea…" Mikey said blushing, "I figured we needed a way to set these off without having to be outside of the walls. The batteries will switch on sending a charge down the wire setting off the bombs if I switch on this controller."

"Is that the controller for your remote control car?" Carl asked impressed.

"Yeah…I'm too old for it now anyways. This way when those asshole show up, all we have to do is turn this on and BOOM!"

"You're a fucking genius!" Carl said practically shouting.

Mikey shrugged his shoulders but couldn't contain his smile.

"OK come on, we should set these up and head back, people are going to start wondering where we've gone soon…"

They packed up the tools and each of them took six bombs each in their hands and walked very carefully back towards Alexandria. The followed Eugene's map and placed all twelve bombs along the perimeter of the walls keeping in mind to stay out of sight of the guard on duty at the gate.

As Carl and Mikey finished with the last bomb and headed back to where they had climbed over Carl felt a strange familiarity wash over him. He looked around at the leaf covered ground and then around at the trees that surrounded him. Then he saw it and realized why this place looked so familiar. To his right was the hollowed out tree where he and Enid had hid from a small herd of walkers.

"You go one ahead," he said to Mikey, "I'll just be a minute…"

He watched as Mikey reached the wall and started to climb over. He turned back to the tree and felt his mouth curve into a smile as he walked over towards it. Somehow it looked smaller, and he had a hard time believing that he and Enid had fit inside together. He remembered that day so clearly. How she had started to open up to him about her past, about how she felt. He remembered how his face had gotten hot when he realized how close she was when hiding in the tree together. He remembered the sharp twist his stomach had made when she had whispered in his ear as the walkers went past.

Carl had wanted to kiss her so badly. His hand had touched hers for just a moment but it had sent a jolt of electricity through his veins. Her hair moving as his breathing quickened. Now she was his and he still felt the same thrill as the first time when he thought of her.

He walked up to the tree and pulled his knife from the holster on his belt. He carved their initials into the inside of the tree. He wasn't really sure why he did it, maybe because he wanted it to be theirs and no one else's. He backed away, his hand pushing the knife back down onto his belt and turned, walking back towards the tall gates of home.

\\_/\\_/\\_/

Carl lay staring at the ceiling in the dark. He couldn't fall asleep. Too much was going on, it felt like his adrenaline was constantly in overdrive. From everything going on with the Saviours to making pipe bombs and now hearing about another group to help them fight Negan…

" _Just shut off your brain…come on…think of nothing…"_ Carl thought frustrated, _"yeah…like that's going to work…"_

Carl closed his eyes and tried to slow his breathing. He tried imagining just darkness in an attempt to get his mind to shut off.

 _Tap tap tap_

Carl opened his eyes and looked over at the window. He almost couldn't believe it when he saw Enid's face smiling at him through the dark window pane. He jumped to his feet and practically sprinted to the window. He gave the window one strong push and it lifted allowing Enid to swing her legs over and land softly on the carpet of his bedroom.

"What…" he stuttered unable to wipe the goofy grin from his face, "What are you doing here? How did you even get here?"

She said nothing but placed her hand gently on his chest, the other coming up and pushed the hair back from his face. She traced her hand down the scarred skin…

"I can feel that…" Carl thought suddenly shocked that the skin of his injury was no longer numb. "How…?"

Carl looked past Enid to his reflection in the dark window and almost gasped out loud. His face was completely fine, both eyes intact and staring back at him in shock. He grabbed at his own face startling Enid slightly in his panic. He turned her and walked slowly closer to the window.

"I'm dreaming…" he said quietly, "this has to be a dream."

Suddenly Carl noticed how fuzzy everything looked, how the colours weren't exactly right. He felt his heart sink at the realization.

"Carl…"

He heard Enid whisper and turned away from his reflection. She was so close to him, her lips just inches from his.

Carl reached up and twirled his finger around a strand of her hair. It felt like silk in his fingers.

"What's wrong?" she asked wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I'm dreaming aren't I?" he whispered sadly.

Enid pushed her fingers up into the hair at the base of his neck. "Yes," she whispered looking up at him, "Do you want me to leave?"

"No!" He quickly wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him fearing that at any second she would fade away like smoke in the wind.

She giggled and he felt her hands pull his mouth to hers. Her tongue pushed its way into his mouth as her soft lips danced with his. His fingers found their way under the hem of her t-shirt and heard her sigh against his mouth as he lightly traced the curve of her small waist. He felt her pull him towards the bed and felt the mattress hit his knees. He opened his eyes briefly in surprise since he no longer had a mattress, but in this dream it seemed that it was still here.

"What's wrong?" she asked breathlessly.

"Nothing…I thought the Saviors had…never mind…" he pressed his lips to hers again and hooking his fingers under the hem of her shirt, slowly started to lift it up. Their kisses paused for a moment as she raised her arms for him to pull it over her head. Her long dark hair spilled down her bare back. He stared down at her pale freckled chest, her breasts partially hidden behind a lacy black bra. He felt a familiar pinching in his jeans as he stared at her.

"You are so unbelievably beautiful," he whispered tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Her chest and cheeks flushed pink and she closed her eyes slowly as she pressed her face against his palm.

Suddenly he felt her hand touch his erection over his jeans and his stomach gave a sharp twist and he couldn't help but let out a low groan as his eyes closed. When he opened them she was looking back up at him, her mouth opening as her face turned and her lips closed over his thumb.

His whole body shuddered and he sucked in a sharp breath. His member throbbed as she swirled her tongue expertly. He felt her fingers find their way under the hem of his shirt and he helped as she pulled it up and over his head.

Her fingers traced down his chest, then down his stomach to rest on the top of his jeans. He leaned down and pressed his lips gently to the side of her neck.

"Mmmm…" she breathed. His hand travelled up her smooth stomach and grasped her lacy breast. She gasped against his ear as he gently rolled her nipple between his thumb and index finger.

"Carl I need you."

He pulled back to look at her face, all flushed and hazy. He smiled and crushed his lips against hers and placing his hand behind her back lowered her onto the bed.

Her chest pressed against his as he settled between her legs, his hand tracing her collarbone and back down to her breasts. He trailed kisses down the same path as his fingers and using his forearm for balance reached under her to unhook her bra. It came undone on the first try and he quickly pulled it away from her tossing it onto the floor.

His mouth captured her breast and Enid let a moan escape her throat. He peeked up at her face, her eyes closed and her teeth biting her bottom lip. His heart was pounding in his chest making his erection throb in time with it.

His hands found the button of her jeans and his mouth trailed wet kisses down her stomach as he slowly lowered the zipper. He pushed himself up and grabbed a hold of either side of her jeans. She lifted her hips slightly to help him as he discarded her pants and underwear.

He took a moment to look at her, her naked body waiting for him, her eyes bright and hungry looking. She pushed herself up and quickly undid his jeans as she leaned forward to kiss him gently tugging on his lip with her teeth.

Carl pushed his jeans and boxers down and Enid fell back again as he kicked them off and to the floor. Her hands tangled themselves in his hair holding him to her. He sighed as his erection was freed from its constraints and couldn't help but let out a sharp gasp as his cock touched her thigh.

His hand followed her hip down and he reached that special place between her legs. His fingers gently slid up and down her folds, becoming drenched instantly with her wetness.

He let out a long shudder, "fuck…" He slid his finger inside her, and her hips pressed up against his hand, her head falling back as she moaned softly.

"Oh God…" she moaned.

Carl couldn't wait anymore, he needed to be inside her now. He pushed his finger deep inside her one last time and then pressed his lips to hers as he positioned the tip of his cock at her entrance.

He slowly pushed himself inside of her, their lips parting as they both gasped at the sensations taking over their bodies. He felt her fingers clench on his arms and slowly he began to thrust in and out of her. Her legs wrapping themselves around his waist allowed him to go deeper inside her.

Every time with her was incredible, his body completely overcome with the incredible sensation of filling her. Her fingernails pinched his skin as he quickened his pace. Her breathing becoming labored and shallow.

"Oh God…Carl…" she moaned.

Her eyes opened and connected with his and he felt like his heart skipped a beat as it pounded in his chest. Her legs started to shake and her eyes rolled back as her head pressed back into the pillows. He felt her walls clench hard around him and he couldn't hold back anymore. He felt his body spasm as he released into her.

For a few moments they just lay together, allowing their breathing to return to normal. He heard her sigh happily against his ear.

"Are you OK?" he asked.

She giggled, "I'm amazing."

He pushed himself off of her and rolled to the side, pulling her into his arms against him.

"I don't think I'll ever be able to get enough of that," he said brushing her hair off of her face.

She smiled as her hand traced his face, "I just wish this could've been real…"

Carl's heart suddenly sank as he remembered that he was dreaming.

Carl awoke suddenly, the room was dimly glowing gold from the rising sun coming in through the windows. His back was sore from sleeping on the floor of his bedroom. He turned to look at the blankets beside him but Enid wasn't there. She'd never really been there. He slowly lifted his hand to touch his face. The hard scarred skin where his eye should be made his heart sink. Quiet happy babbling was coming from the baby monitor next to him; Judith was awake.

He rolled out from underneath the covers and slowly pushed himself to his feet. Carl walked the short distance down the hall towards Judith's room and opened the door to find her standing in her crib. When she saw him, she smiled.

"Good morning Judi," he said giving her a sleepy smile, "did you have sweet dreams?" He pulled her up into his arms and she cuddled into his chest. Carl kissed the top of her curly head, "Yeah…me too."


	21. Chapter 21

Author's Note: Sorry it's taken so long to get a chapter out but work and life have been crazy busy. It'll die down in two weeks but until then please be patient.

Chapter 21:

Carl was sitting on the floor of the living room helping Judith as she tried to pile building blocks one on top of another. He'd stack up three or four for her and she'd knock them down with her chubby hand, laughing as they fell with a clatter.

Carl couldn't help but smile. He wondered if she knew somehow just how dangerous the world was, was she even aware of it at all. He envied her a little, she'd never know what life was like before all of this happened, she'd never miss it. Would he live long enough to see her grow up? She looked up at him with her big brown eyes and babbled.

"Oh yeah?" he replied to her, "You're really good at knocking down all my towers."

She clapped her hands together enthusiastically.

"Maybe we should start calling you 'the destructor'," he said laughing.

Judith picked up another block and threw it in his lap.

 _Knock knock knock_

Carl whipped his head around and pushed himself up to peer over the couch towards the front door. Mikey was standing on the front steps.

"Come in!" Carl yelled.

Mikey walked through the front door and made his way over to the couch, "Hey man, how's it going?"

Carl shrugged, "Just playing with Judith, she'll be going for a nap soon though."

"That's cool," Mikey said coming around and sitting down on the sofa, "Do you mind if I hang out? I'm dying of boredom…especially after yesterday."

Carl nodded, "Yeah, it's cool. Once Judi goes to sleep we can go up to my room and play some video games if you want."

Mikey smiled, "Yeah awesome."

\\_/\\_/\\_/

A few hours later Carl and Mikey were in a heated Mario Kart battle in Carl's bedroom. Tara had come by to take Judith after she had woken up from her nap so they were free to do as they pleased.

"Watch out Carl, red turtle shell coming your way…" Mikey said.

Carl wasn't quick enough and his car spun out and off the track making him fall way behind Mikey. "Son of a bitch!" Carl said as he used a star to gain back some of the gap.

Mikey's car passed the finish line, "Looks like you lose again, tell me…how does it feel to suck SO bad?"

Carl tossed the controller out in front of him, "Well I may suck at Mario Kart but just remember, I'm the one getting laid."

Mikey frowned, "Yeah, well I guess you are the big winner then."

Carl immediately remembered something that might cheer Mikey up.

"Hey, I forgot to tell you…" he said grinning, "there's a really pretty girl I met at the Kingdom for you."

Mikey's face immediately lit up, "Yeah?"

"And…" Carl said smirking, "she's a blonde."

"Dude, you're telling me this now? When we're on Alexandria lock down? What's her name?"

"Sarah. Her dad's the doctor at the Kingdom. I think she's like a year or so younger than us but I didn't ask. If I see Ben again, I'll ask him."

"Who's Ben?"

"He's one of the Kingdom's…for lack of a better word…knights? He was pretty cool. A few years older than us, like maybe 19?" Carl said. "Anyway he tried to help us…I hope he's OK…"

Mikey nodded and picked up his controller again to select the next course.

"So…she's pretty?" Mikey asked.

Carl nodded, "Yeah, really pretty. If I remember correctly, I think she had green eyes. I kind of made an ass of myself in front of her too so you'll probably look suave as fuck by comparison."

"What do you mean?"

Carl chuckled and felt his face go red as he remembered, "Nothing…I embarrassed myself pretty badly, and anyways I have a girlfriend already."

\\_/\\_/\\_/

Carl spent the next few days not doing much else other than playing video games, reading comics, watching Judith and cooking. It was nice to have Mikey around. Whenever Tara would take Judith for a while, Carl took Mikey into the garage and taught him how to shoot a gun, and how best to handle the knife he'd given him.

Carl couldn't help but notice that Tara seemed slightly dazed when she'd come by. She didn't say much and he often caught her just staring off into the distance. A few times he saw her holding the doctor bobble head in her hand, hidden in her shirt sleeve. He suspected that she was just mourning Denise. He asked her a few times if she was alright but she just shrugged him off and said she was fine.

He was washing some dishes in the kitchen when he heard the front door open behind him. He looked over his shoulder expecting to see Tara bringing Judith back but his dad and Michonne were walking through the door, huge grins plastered across their faces.

"You're back!" Carl said wiping his wet hands off on his jeans as he came around the kitchen island.

Rick took a few steps towards him and wrapped his arms around him enveloping him in a tight hug. Carl felt his chest swell as his dad pat him on the back of his head.

He pulled away and Michonne snuck in for a hug for herself.

"You look pretty happy." Carl said as Michonne pulled away, "What's going on?"

Rick walked around the kitchen counter and poured himself a glass of water. "We found guns, lots of them. We still need more but it's a good start."

Carl felt his face break into a hopeful smile, "That's awesome!"

"We found food too," Michonne said smirking, "All ready to eat military stuff. It's pretty good actually."

Rick was looking around the living room, "Where's Judith?"

"Oh," Carl said realizing, "She's at Tara's. She's supposed to be bringing her back any minute I think. I can go get her if you want."

Rick raised his hand to stop him, "No it's alright…I'll go get her. I've missed the little mess maker."

His dad opened the front door and made his way down the front steps and turned towards Tara's house down the street.

"So," Michonne said grabbing a handful of crackers and finally sinking down onto the couch in the living room. "What have you been up to the past few days?"

She propped her feet up on the coffee table and sighed as she relaxed.

Carl was suddenly conflicted, he'd accomplished a fair bit since they had left. He didn't think his dad or Michonne would be at all thrilled that he had been making bombs but on the other hand, he knew that they should know so that no one would accidentally set them off. Plus, he still felt bad for taking off on his suicide mission to the Sanctuary.

He walked around the couch and sat on the coffee table placing his hands on his knees.

"Carl," Michonne said sitting up, "Are you OK?"

"Yeah…I…" he started.

"Are you missing Enid?" Michonne asked leaning forward and placing her hand on his.

Carl sat up straighter and furrowed his brow, "What? No…I mean, yes I am but…that's not…I need to tell you something."

"What is it?" she asked.

Carl took a deep breath, "I…"

Just then the front door opened again and Tara and Rick walked in with Judith in his arms.

Rick motioned for Tara to have a seat in the living room. Carl moved from where he was sitting on the coffee table and sat next to Michonne. Tara hesitantly sunk into the arm chair across from them. Rick sat on the arm of the sofa next to Michonne, bouncing a sleepy Judith in his arms.

"What's going on?" Michonne asked glancing at Carl.

He had no idea what was going on and tried to assure Michonne that what Tara was doing there had nothing to do with him…at least, he didn't think it did.

"Tara said she needs to tell us something…" Rick said.

Carl could sense the apprehensiveness on his dad's face. He was bracing himself for bad news.

Tara was fidgeting nervously, her hands twisting themselves in her shirt sleeves. "I…I wasn't completely honest when I told you that we hadn't found anything, you know when Heath and I went on that long distance scavenging run."

"What do you mean?" Rick asked gently.

Tara looked at Carl for a moment, "I found another community. Right by the ocean."

Rick passed Judith to Michonne and stood up, crossing his arms over his chest.

"You found more people?"

She nodded, "They…they have guns. A lot of them. I saw it."

"What?" Rick almost yelled leaning forwards.

Tara shrank a little in her seat, Carl could see she was uncomfortable. She looked like a little girl being reprimanded for drawing on the walls.

"That group…the women I met," she continued quietly, "They have an armory, they have guns."

Rick changed his weight and moved his hands to his hips, "Why didn't you tell us before now?"

"I made a promise Rick," it was the first time that Tara looked confident in herself.

"What do you mean you made a promise?" Michonne asked.

Tara sighed, "These people…women. They're all women and children. The saviours killed all their men and any boys over the age of ten."

Tara glanced at Carl again and he looked quickly at the floor. He saw Michonne look at him out of the corner of his eye.

"So they ran…they ran and they hid. They kill anyone they come across on sight to protect themselves. One of them, she saved me. She couldn't kill me, she helped me get away, but not before I promised I wouldn't ever tell anyone about them. It's killing me to break that promise, but I know now…we need their guns and we need them now."

Carl saw Rick look at Michonne and then he caught his eye.

"How far away is this place?" Rick asked calmly.

Tara thought for a moment, "It's at least 50 miles away, I wrote the directions down on my arm…" she held forward a bunch of numbers written in black ink on her forearm.

Carl had to fight the urge to laugh, it would be so like Tara to write it on her arm instead of a piece of paper.

"OK…" Rick said slowly, "We'll leave first thing in the morning."

"Rick…" Tara said standing up, "We need to go in with a lot of people, and a good plan. They'll shoot to kill if they spot any of us. Their security…it's impressive…"

Rick nodded, "Let me round everyone up, and we'll decide on a plan of action."

Carl stood up suddenly, "Dad, I want to go with you."

'Carl no…you heard what Tara said, they'll be trying to kill us, it's too dangerous."

Carl sighed, "Dad, come on! You want to be able to trust me? Then you need to trust me too. I can do this. I can help!"

Michonne placed her hand on Rick's arm. Rick thought for a moment and let out a long breath.

"OK…you're right. But, you do what I tell you to do though alright?"

Carl nodded enthusiastically.

"Alright then…we should probably stop by the Hilltop on our way though. If we need people we could definitely use Daryl, Sasha and Jesus." Rick said heading up the stairs. Michonne stood up and followed behind him with a sleeping Judith in her arms.

Tara made for the front door when Carl called out to her.

"Tara…"

"Yeah?"

He smiled sadly at her, "You did the right thing…telling us."

She nodded, "Yeah, but it doesn't make me feel any better. I bet you're happy though…"

Carl's forehead wrinkled in confusion, "Why?"

Tara smiled, "We're stopping by Hilltop…you'll get to see Enid sooner than you thought."

She opened the door and walked out.

Carl felt a wide smile slowly spread across his face. He couldn't wait to see Enid's face as the gates of Hilltop opened. He had so much to tell her: garbage people, guns and tigers.

" _Enid's not going to believe me when I tell her…"_

\\_/\\_/\\_/

"I should go with you guys…" Mikey said leaning against the door frame of Carl's bedroom as he packed his gear together for the trip to Oceanside.

"You should stay here," Carl said as he wrapped his holster to his leg, "If something happens while we're gone you need to be here to trigger the explosives."

Mikey nodded but Carl could see he was disappointed.

"Listen," Carl said walking over to him, "It's not that I think you can't take care of yourself. You've learned really fast how to shoot and handle a knife but we're taking almost every capable fighter with us. While we're gone Alexandria will be defenseless. You should be here in case something goes down. I'd feel better if you were here to keep Judith safe."

Mikey straightened up, "Yeah man…of course. I'll keep her safe."

Carl opened his closet and removed one of the loose floorboards. He pushed a few bottles of baby food aside and reached for one of his chocolate bars that he had stashed before the Saviours had come. He knew Enid would like it. He tossed it into his duffel bag with his assault rifle and several rounds of ammo.

He threw the bag over his shoulder and placed his hand on Mikey's shoulder as he passed him. "Be careful alright?"

"You too."

Carl and Mikey made their way down the stairs and found Mikey's mom Allison standing in the living room talking with Michonne.

"Mom, what are you doing here?" Mikey asked concerned.

She turned and smiled when she saw them come down the stairs, "I'm going to watch Judith while they're gone. I always wanted a little girl," she said turning to Michonne for the last part.

Michonne handed Allison the diaper bag which she pulled over her shoulder and then took Judith into her arms. Michonne leaned forward and kissed Judith on the cheek.

"Carl, you ready?" she asked.

He nodded and walked over to plant a kiss on Judith's forehead.

"We'll be back soon," he said as he followed Michonne out of the front door.

Mikey and Judith both waved as they left and Carl climbed the stairs of the RV. Rick, Michonne, Tara, Scott and Francine were already inside. He gently placed his bag down next to the others and sat at the table. He could see Father Gabriel, Tobin, Aaron and Eric piling into a truck behind them.

"Everybody ready?" Rick asked as Michonne started up the engine.

A few heads nodded, Carl saw Tara fidget with her shirt sleeves. The RV jolted forward and soon they were speeding off down the empty road.

"You alright Tara?" Carl asked as she shifted in the seat across from him.

She nodded, "Yeah…" but her eyes didn't leave her lap.

"If all goes according to plan, no one will get hurt." Carl said managing a smile.

Rick turned around in his seat to face them, "If things go south…"

"It won't." Tara said forcefully.

"But if it does," he continued, "You don't have to feel bad."

Tara leaned back, "But I do feel bad…I will"

"Tara…you don't have to."

She let out a long breath and turned to look out the window. Rick, realizing he couldn't say anything more to convince her gave Carl a small smile and turned back around facing the windshield.

Carl's leg was shaking excitedly as they sped along down the road closing the distance between them and the Hilltop.

"You nervous or something?" Francine asked as she passed Carl grabbing a bottle of water.

Carl looked back from out the window, "What?"

"Your leg is shaking like crazy," she said jutting her chin towards him.

"Oh…" he placed his hand on his knee to stop it from bouncing up and down.

"I think he's just excited to see his girlfriend again," Michonne teased from the driver's seat.

Carl looked up in horror and could see her trying to hold back her laugh in the rear view mirror.

"Girlfriend? Who?" Francine asked sitting back down on the small sofa.

"Enid," Rick said smiling as he turned around to face them again.

"Awwwwwwww! How adorable!" Francine cried.

Carl wrapped his arms over his head and dropped his forehead to the table. "Let me know when we're there…" he said, his voice muffled by his shirt.

The RV sped along for a little while longer, his body bouncing with the road. Soon enough though they were slowing down and Carl finally lifted his head to peer out of the windshield. The tall gates of Hilltop were slowly opening before them. Michonne pulled the RV inside and the gates shut behind them. Carl could see Maggie make her way down from the vegetable gardens. His dad opened the door and they started to make their way out and into the sunlight. Carl grabbed the chocolate bar he'd brought with him out of his duffel bag before following the rest of them.

"What are y'all doing here?" Maggie said as she hugged each one of them, "We weren't expecting you for a while yet."

"Things have progressed very quickly," Rick said, "We've made some new friends who are going to help us numbers wise but we need to get them guns."

Maggie looked skeptical and crossed her arms over her chest. Carl noticed that her belly was looking slightly rounder and he couldn't help but smile. He also couldn't help but look for Enid who seemed to be nowhere in sight.

"Who are these people Rick?" Maggie asked.

"They're…strange…" Michonne said slowly, "but we need the numbers and they're willing to fight if we give them food and guns. Tara knows where we can find more, but we need a lot of us to go to make this work."

Maggie nodded, "Carl…"

Carl turned his head back to Maggie from craning his neck around looking for Enid.

"Yeah?"

She smiled, "Enid's in the trailer."

He grinned, "Thanks Maggie."

He started walking towards the trailer when his dad called out to him, "Carl! We're not staying long so…don't…don't…"

Carl rolled his eyes, "Yeah dad…alright…"

He sprinted up the hill and found himself at the foot of the stairs of the last trailer. He took a few moments to catch his breath and then walked through the door.

It took a moment for his eye to adjust to the dim light but when it did he found Enid standing with her back to him at the small kitchen counter.

"Maggie, I'm making tomato soup again for lunch…I hope that's OK."

Carl closed the door behind him, "I'm sure that'll be fine."

Enid whipped around, a wooden spoon in her hand stained red from the soup.

"Carl?" She yelled excitedly. He smiled at her and she dropped the spoon on the counter before running over to throw her arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around her waist squeezing her tight and nuzzled his face into her hair.

After a few moments she pulled back resting her hands on the back of his neck and staring up at him. "What are you doing here?" she asked, "Did you come alone?"

He shook his head, "No, we actually came to pick up Daryl, Jesus and Sasha. We need their help."

Enid's face dropped, "Sasha's not here."

"What? Where is she?"

"Her and Rosita…they went after Negan. They left yesterday…"

Carl didn't know what to think. Why would they go after Negan when they knew that they were all planning on fighting back?

"Did they tell you what they were planning?" he asked.

She shook her head, "I have no idea."

Carl brushed back a stray strand of her dark brown hair and tucked it behind her ear.

"I missed you." He said quietly touching his forehead to hers. She closed her eyes and breathed in.

She tilted her head up and her lips met his. Carl felt the hairs on his neck and arms stand on end as they kissed. His hands gently cupped her face as their kiss deepened. She pulled back and looked up through her eyelashes at him and smiled.

"I missed you too." She whispered. "Wait…" she leaned back a little and her forehead creased, "Why did you come here again? Why did you need Sasha and them's help?"

Carl explained how they had found another community willing to fight with them and that they had found guns but needed more. That Tara had been keeping another community secret that had an arsenal of weapons. That they were going to take them but invite them to fight with them at the same time.

"I'm going with you," Enid said turning and walking through the door to her bedroom.

Carl followed her, "No you're not!"

Enid was sitting on the end of the bed as she pulled her boots on. Carl noticed the Cherokee rose that he had given her wilting in a milk bottle on the little table beside her bed. He fought the urge to smile but his chest swelled a little.

"Carl, I'm going with you," she said standing up to face him, "You owe me this."

Her eyes were daring him to fight with her, but she was right, he did owe her for locking her in the armory the last time. While he didn't regret it because it had kept her safe, he owed her the chance to prove herself.

"OK…" he said conceding.

She pushed her knife down into its sheath on her belt and grabbed her coat.

"OK."

Carl turned and headed for the door, Enid right behind him. As they walked hand in hand back down the hill towards the RV, Carl couldn't help but stare at Enid's face; a beautiful mixture of strength, determination and beauty.


	22. Chapter 22

*I'm back guys! So so so sooooo sorry it's taken me forever and a day to update this story! Work has been crazy busy getting my students ready for competition and THEN for our recital. But it's all finally over and it's smooth sailing at work now so I have MUCH more free time. Hence, chapter updates! I got some free time today at work to edit. It's not the longest chapter but I wanted to get something out to you all. Thank you so much for sticking around and being so encouraging! As always, your reviews are what keep me going! Enjoy.

Daryl and Jesus were already with the rest of the group when Carl and Enid reached the bottom of the hill. It seemed that Maggie had already told them about Sasha and Rosita taking off.

"I should be going with you," Maggie said her hand instinctively coming to rest on her growing belly.

Rick shook his head, "No, we need you to stay here. Keep working with the people here and more importantly…keep an eye on Gregory. We can't trust him and who knows what he could get up to without you here."

Maggie nodded and looked over at Enid noticing that she was wearing her coat.

"Are you going too?" she asked.

Enid nodded, "Is that OK?"

Maggie paused for a moment but smiled and nodded, "Yeah, just be careful alright?"

Enid dropped Carl's hand for a moment to give Maggie a long hug. Carl couldn't hear what she said but Maggie whispered something in her ear.

"We ready then?" Michonne asked.

Carl grabbed Enid's hand as everyone turned and headed back to the RV. They climbed the stairs and Carl slid into the bench seat next to Enid as the van pulled out and headed back towards the main highway. He could see Enid watching anxiously as Maggie disappeared from view as the Hilltop gates closed.

"She'll be alright." He said quietly.

Enid nodded, "Yeah…I know."

Enid was looking out of the window of the RV as they hurtled along down the deserted highway. Her hand was gently resting on Carl's thigh, her head leaning against his shoulder. He had his arm draped around her and was enjoying the weight of her body against his.

Jesus was sitting across from him and when they locked eyes he smiled.

"Michonne," Tara said leaning over the passenger seat, "you're going to want to take a left up here…"

She pointed at a barely noticeable road and Michonne made the sharp turn onto the rocky overgrown laneway. They continued for a little while but soon the RV was slowing to a stop and the brakes squeaked loudly.

Enid sat up straight and Carl felt cold as her body left the crook of his shoulder.

"Are we there already?" she asked Michonne.

"No…" she said pausing and looking over at Rick.

"Shit…" he said and turned to look over his shoulder at the rest of them. His face was serious and Carl got out of his seat to look out the windshield ahead of them.

"Oh shit…" he murmured when he saw why they had stopped.

There was a massive herd of walkers a few hundred metres ahead of them blocking the road.

Tara leaned over Carl's shoulder as she looked out of the window as well. "They weren't here before…"

A knock on the RV door made them all jump and it opened to reveal Daryl standing over his motorcycle.

"So what now?" he asked leaning against the door frame.

"Did you bring the explosives from the highway? We could use them to draw enough of them away that we could get through" Jesus asked Rick.

He nodded, "Yeah but I was hoping to not have to use more than two or three at Oceanside. Save the rest for defending Alexandria…"

Carl paused and looked at Enid whose face had suddenly become somber. "Dad…"

Rick was still looking out of the window at the herd, his forehead scrunched up as he tried to decide what to do, "Yeah?"

"I…" he paused again, Enid turned towards him and raised her eyebrows questioningly, "I think I have something that might help…"

Rick and Michonne both turned around to look at Carl.

"OK?" Michonne asked slowly.

"Promise you won't get mad…" Carl said nervously.

Rick and Michonne looked at each other for a quick moment, "What is it?" his dad asked sternly.

Carl leaned back and glanced briefly at a confused Enid, "I…I found instructions in Eugene's house for how to….how to make pipe bombs."

Rick and Michonne stared at him without blinking for a minute. Carl felt Enid's hand tighten around his wrist.

Finally, his dad blinked several times very quickly and tilted his head, "Carl…don't tell me…"

"We made some…" he blurted out quickly before he could lose his nerve. He could see his dad's eyes slowly close as he tried to process this. Michonne was looking positively terrified.

"…..you made…pipe bombs…?" Rick said slowly opening his eyes again his fingers rubbing his temple.

"Is this what you were trying to tell me about this morning?" Michonne asked.

Carl nodded, "We made twelve of them and we rigged them up around Alexandria…"

"Wait…" Rick said raising his hand, "who's we?"

"Me and Mikey." Carl said shrugging.

Carl felt Enid's hand squeeze his own and she smiled briefly.

Rick urged Carl on with a look. "We placed them around the perimeter of Alexandria and rigged them to blow with a remote. Mikey made it out of his remote control racing car…he has it now, in case something happens while we're gone."

Rick and Michonne both sat back in their seats and for a few moments the RV was silent.

Carl could hear his heart pounding in his ears as he waited for his dad to start yelling, he was sure everyone could hear it hammering. What he heard next though was not what he expected. His dad was laughing.

Michonne looked over at Rick like he had finally lost his mind. Carl and Enid both glanced at each other quickly before raising their eyebrows at a hysterical Rick.

"So…" he said gasping for air, "so let me get this straight…" He took a deep breath, "You stow away in a truck and gun down our enemy's men trying to take him out, when we get to Hilltop you're so crazy with hormones that the two of you can't keep your hands off of each other," Carl could see Enid blush, "and when we get back home you're so bored that you decide to make pipe bombs…did I leave anything out?"

Carl felt his face flush like he should be embarrassed, but in truth he wasn't. He was proud of all of those things.

"Yeah…I think that's it…" he said slowly.

Rick started laughing again, "Oh man did I ever underestimate what it was going to be like raising a teenager…"

Michonne suddenly snorted and started to laugh as well. Carl could see the others around him smiling too.

"But I…" he started.

Rick cut him off, "I did not expect things to escalate so quickly from comic books to machine guns, girlfriends, sex and pipe bombs…but here we are."

Carl sat back in his seat again, "So wait…you're not mad?"

Rick shook his head, "No…but can you please tell me ahead of time next time you plan on being in the bomb squad?"

Carl nodded.

"Alright," Rick said seriously, "We'll set up one rig of dynamite to draw them away. Michonne back up a ways…"

Michonne threw the RV into reverse and backed up about half a kilometre down the road well out of the herd's way.

"Carl," Rick said as he stood up, "You and Enid stay with the RV in case anything comes this way alright? We're going to take the van and the bike through the woods. The RV won't fit through the trees and I don't want it sitting out here in case any Saviours come by."

Michonne was backing up the RV into a low ditch out of sight of the main road.

"I don't think anyone will come down this way but…just in case…I trust you to keep it safe alright?"

Carl smiled, "We will, thanks dad."

Rick gave him a hard pat on the shoulder as he passed him. Michonne passed him next.

"Don't get into any trouble alright?" she said seriously.

"We won't," Enid said confidently.

The others exited the RV and closed the door behind them. Carl and Enid moved to look out the back window and could see the others piling hesitantly into the van with the dynamite. Daryl's bike disappeared through the trees and the van followed vanishing from view.

"So apparently you missed me huh?"

Carl turned around to find Enid sitting on the small kitchen table.

"Of course I missed you," he said walking over towards her.

She laughed, "So much so that you were bored enough to make bombs?"

Carl laughed, "Well I had to occupy myself somehow…" his left hand rested gently on her hip.

She smiled slyly, "It was incredibly stupid you know…"

Carl nodded, "Yeah I know."

"You promised me you wouldn't do anything stupid."

He looked into her bright eyes but she was still smiling, her tongue gliding over her lips making them shine, "I did."

Her hands snaked their way under his t-shirt and pulled him closer to her between her legs. Carl pulled his hat off and placed it next to them on the table. He felt his Adam's apple bob up and down as he swallowed, her earthy smell filling his head.

She leaned forward so that their noses were almost touching, "I'm glad you and Mikey are friends."

Carl felt his eye close gently as her fingertips grazed impossibly lightly over his stomach.

"Yeah…" he whispered, "he's a good guy." He opened his eye to find hers looking at him, "but I don't want to talk about Mikey right now…"

She smiled briefly before Carl pulled her lips to his. His lips devoured her like he was a starving man, he could barely breathe, barely think because of the ferocity of their kissing. Her hands were wildly tangled in his hair, her legs wrapped themselves tightly around his waist holding him to her.

He felt the erection grow almost instantly in his jeans and pressed his hips into hers. She let out a sharp excited gasp as she felt it grind against her sex. His mouth travelled down her jaw and neck as his hands pushed themselves under her shirt and bra to capture her breasts.

He gently tweaked her nipple between his thumb and index finger and her breath hitched audibly in the quiet RV. He felt her hand gently rub over the bulge in his jeans and he suddenly couldn't form a coherent thought. He pushed her backwards down onto the table top as he bent his body over hers. His fingers fumbled slightly as he tried to find the button to the top of her jeans.

"Carl wait…" she breathed.

His heart was pounding but he stopped and opened his eye to look at her flushed face.

"What's wrong?" he asked breathless.

"We shouldn't…"

"What? Why?" Carl could hear how childish he sounded and immediately regretted it.

Enid smiled though as she pushed herself up onto her elbows, "We need to be focused, and I can't focus when…when you're kissing me. When you're touching me."

Carl couldn't help but smile a little. He knew she was right. He was trying to prove he could be more responsible and this wasn't a good way to go about doing that.

He pushed himself up and pulled Enid back to sitting. They took a moment to readjust themselves, Carl smoothing Enid's tousled hair behind her ear. Carl pulled Enid forward to sit in the front seats of the RV so they could better see what was going on outside of the windshield.

They were quiet for a while as their eyes scanned the empty road watching for any sign of movement.

"Do you think we'll have to fight them?" Enid asked quietly.

Carl shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know. I hope not. From what Tara's told us they don't seem like bad people. They sound just like us…you know, just trying to survive."

"But you'll fight them if we have to?" she asked looking at him seriously.

"I'll fight them if we have to. I hope it doesn't come to that but…Enid, it's us or them and I will choose us every time. That's the way it is now."

She nodded and looked down at her hands, "Yeah I know…it just sucks."

Carl reached out and grabbed her hand entwining their fingers, "It'll be OK…try not to think about it too much."

Her thumb rubbed against the back of his hand.

"Oh, here…" Carl pulled the small pistol that Michonne had given him out of his pocket, "You should take this just in case."

Enid took it in her hands tentatively, "I've never shot anyone before…"

Carl raised his eyebrow at her, "But I thought…you told me you'd killed before. Those two men who attacked you..."

Enid shook her head, "That was different, I didn't shoot or stab them. I was being attacked by those men and when I saw walkers coming towards us I used them to my advantage. I pushed them into the walkers and they did the work for me as I ran…but shooting someone and killing them…and all because they won't give us what we want? I don't know if I can…"

"Enid," Carl said lifting her chin with his fingers, "You're so strong. I have no doubt that if someone you love is in danger you'd use this to save them."

Enid's mouth curled up at the side slightly but her eyes were sad, "I'd do it to save you."

Carl pulled her hand towards him and kissed her knuckles, "I told you before but I want you to hear it again…that I'd fight a war for you."


	23. Chapter 23

*Author's Note* I'm soooo sorry everyone for taking positively FOREVER to post. I was teaching summer school which was stressful enough but then my laptop crashed and I had to reset it back to it's factory settings for it to work. Anyways long story short a ton of my files are gone and all my Microsoft apps INCLUDING the almost finished chapter I had written. Here is the rewritten version...it may not be exactly the same and may not be as good but I wanted to get this out to you. I really hope you enjoy it. BTW did you see the trailer for season 8 yet? OMG!

Chapter 23:

Carl and Enid sat for what seemed like hours in the empty RV hidden away in the woods. They were quiet for most of the time. Carl could tell that Enid was thinking of something by the way her cheek rested in her hand and the way that her eyebrows creased in the middle. He didn't want to pry, he knew she would tell him if anything serious was wrong. At least he hoped she would.

There was a soft boom that echoed off the trees a long way off in the distance and the van rattled just slightly. Carl and Enid both jumped and sat upright on high alert as they looked out the windows watching to see if any walkers came their way from the noise.

"Do you see anything?" Enid asked.

Carl squinted at a moving branch in the distance but then saw a squirrel leap out of the tree.

"No…nothing dead anyway…"

SLAM

Something slammed hard and loud into the passenger door of the RV causing Enid to give a small shriek of surprise.

Carl grabbed her hands and pulled her in one swift movement into his lap away from the door.

"You OK?" he asked his hand resting against her cheek.

Her eyes were wide and unblinking, "Yeah, it just scared me…"

Carl slid out from under her and looked down out of the RV window. A walker was clawing at the door, making its awful rasping noises as its teeth searched for something to sink down into. Carl started to roll the window down so he could kill it from above but as he got a better look he felt a lump form in his throat.

"What's wrong?" Enid asked.

Carl sighed as he pulled his knife from its sheath on his belt, "It's a kid…"

It had to be done anyways and Carl felt his hand cramp slightly as the blade sunk into the walker's skull. He used his other hand to push down on its head to get enough leverage to pull the blade back out. The walker fell to the ground, its decomposed face looking up at him.

Carl looked down and felt his breathing stutter. The walker couldn't have been any older than he and Enid were now. He couldn't help but think of himself as one of them. Would someone he loved be around to put him down if it ever came to that? Whether it was tomorrow or twenty years from now…someone would have to do it.

How many more people would he himself have to put down before his end came?

He felt Enid's hand on his shoulder, "Hey…you OK?" she asked quietly.

His hand closed over top of hers and he forced a smile onto his face, "Yeah…I just…I don't see kids very often."

She nodded and rested her head on his shoulder as she wrapped her arms around him.

SLAM

They both jumped up out of their seats, their chests pounding. The door handle on the RV jiggled. Carl nodded at Enid to pull the gun he'd given her out as he aimed the assault rifle at the door.

The door flew open and for a moment Carl was blinded by the light.

"Guys…relax, it's just us."

His sight adjusted to the light and Carl could see Tara's face coming up the stairs towards him. He immediately lowered his gun and Enid did the same.

"Sorry, we thought…we got spooked by one earlier. Thought there were more."

Tara pulled herself into the RV and grabbed one of the bottles of water from the cooler next to Enid.

"Did it work?" Carl asked as Francine, Jesus and Michonne all filed back into the RV behind Tara.

Tara nodded through a mouthful of water. "Like a charm, but it won't last forever so we have to be quick coming home."

Rick was the last coming through the door and nodded at Carl, "Everything OK while we were gone?"

Carl nodded, "Yeah…just that one but I took care of it."

Rick clapped him on the shoulder as he took back his place next to Michonne in the driver's seat. Michonne started up the engine and they pulled back out onto the highway.

Tara led them to the water's edge and they hid the RV, motorcycle and van out of sight in case anyone stumbled upon them and thought them abandoned. There was a rusted fishing boat by the dock but it could only carry a few of them over at one time. Carl and Enid waited with Tara, Francine and Daryl while the rest went across first.

Enid hadn't said much since they had left the teenage walker in the woods. She was avoiding his gaze and Carl was starting to think he had said something to make her mad. When Daryl and Francine were busy asking Tara about the layout of the Oceanside community Carl pulled Enid aside.

"Hey, are you OK?" Carl said placing his hand on her arm.

Enid nodded her head but her face didn't look like she felt fine.

Carl let out a long sigh, "I'm sorry if I said something to make you mad, just tell me what I did…"

Enid placed her hand over top of his, "No…it's nothing you did. I promise."

Carl felt a wave of relief wash over him, "What is it then?"

"Do you ever think about the people you've killed?" she asked looking at him very seriously.

He was taken aback for a few moments, then he realized she must still be thinking about their conversation earlier, "Yeah…"

It was all he could get out. She nodded sharply once, looked down and walked back towards the others. He wanted to say so much more to her but couldn't quite get his mouth to form the words he wanted. He wanted to tell her that sometimes he couldn't sleep because the faces of the people he'd killed haunted him in the night. He wanted to say as well that there wasn't a moment that he regretted killing any of them.

They climbed into the empty fishing boat awkwardly. Once again Carl felt like he couldn't do anything right. He sat holding his gun in the little boat as it made its way across the river, his leg bouncing.

"Nervous?" Tara asked him over his shoulder.

"Oh…" Carl forced his knee to stop jiggling, "No…just, anxious I guess…"

Tara patted him on the shoulder before she sat back against the motor of the boat.

Carl's knee automatically started to bounce again.

 _What are you doing? Enid needs you. You need to say something dumbass! She needs you and you're doing nothing! What can you even say?_

He suddenly felt pressure on his knee. He looked down and saw Enid's hand resting gently on his knee and it immediately stopped shaking.

He looked up and she was smiling at him. It wasn't a big smile but it was enough that it calmed him down, the tension in his body releasing. She didn't say anything but as he placed his hand over hers he mouthed the words "I love you."

Carl followed his dad and a few others into the small clearing that they had decided would be where they would hold the people of Oceanside until their demands were met. Tara had gone to try and speak to them peacefully about joining them in their fight against the Saviours, to let them use their guns but he doubted they would help them. He couldn't help but think of them all as cowards. Cowards for hiding away when they could be doing what they were and fighting back for their freedom.

A loud boom echoed through the trees as the coloured leaves fluttered to the dry ground.

"Alright this is it..." his dad said and Carl raised his gun. He looked over to where Enid was standing next to Tobin. She had her gun up and was ready, her stance powerful. She caught his gaze and gave him a quick nod.

Another boom sounded through the trees and then another. The leaves fell quickly from their branches from the vibrations. He could hear the screams of women in the distance and could see the smoke starting to rise up above them.

Before he knew it a group of women and children came running full speed into the clearing towards them. It was almost like they didn't even see them at first. One almost ran right into Carl but stopped dead on her feet just a few inches away. She fell backwards and pulled her friend or mother or sister back against her.

Carl didn't lower his gun, he didn't trust any of them. Even though they were women he wouldn't underestimate them, he knew too many powerful women in his life. He just hoped none were as strong as Michonne, otherwise they'd all be in trouble.

"We made a lot of noise," his dad said calmly walking around the huddle of women and children. "We want to wrap this up quick so you can send people to redirect anything coming this way. Tara said your forests are relatively clear so we won't take any chances."

Carl could see a few of the women look up at him and then look at the gun he was holding. He didn't want to fight them and he hoped that no one tried to start anything crazy and force him to shoot someone.

"This is just about what you have," Rick said again, "What we need..."

"Nobody's taking anything!"

A voice yelled out over Rick and Carl quickly turned to see Tara at gun point. "You need to let everyone go," she said. Carl could hear the quiet panic in her voice and he wrapped his hands more tightly around his gun.

"Leave right now,just walk away or this one dies."

Rick took a small step towards Tara and the woman, "Yeah we'll leave you alone...but we're taking your weapons with us. That's not going to change."

Carl locked eyes with Tara who subtly shook her head. He scanned the crowd again looking for anyone who might start something when he caught Enid's gaze. She was quietly inching forward behind the woman who had her gun to Tara's head.

She nodded sharply at him and he nodded back urging her to keep going.

"It's Natania right?" his dad asked the woman, "Put the gun down...let's talk about what we can change."

"No! Leave right now!" the woman said.

"Michonne, don't!" Tara yelled.

Carl looked over his shoulder at the place in the trees where Michonne was stationed. Tara obviously was worried that Michonne would shoot this Natania lady to save her. But he knew Tara wanted more than anything for this to remain peaceful.

"We just want to be left alone."

Rick took another step towards Natania, "We'll leave you alone, just let go of her now. Or...we'll kill you. None of us want that."

Carl could see that Enid was very close behind Natania now. He could see her looking at his dad. He must have been able to see her too because she nodded at him ever so slightly.

"They want us to fight the Saviors," the girl next to Tara said to the group. Carl couldn't recall what Tara had said her name was.

At the mention of fighting the Saviors, Carl could see the women glance at each other.

"We tried that, we lost. Too much...we're not going to lose any more," Natania said not taking her eyes off Rick. "Not our guns, not our safety...not after everything we've done to get here!"

"We're going to win!" Tara shouted over her, "With your guns...with or without your help!"

Rick stepped forward again, "Natania...put the gun down."

"You kill me and you die and my people take the guns, and nothing changes!" Tara pleaded.

Carl could see the women glance again at each other and then one spoke, "Maybe we should try..."

"Grandma stop!" the young girl whispered, "It's over! Just talk to them OK?"

"It's not over!" Natania yelled. Carl could see and hear the panic in her voice now. He worried she might do something rash at any moment. He looked at Enid who seemed to also sense the growing panic.

"They've forgotten...you've all forgotten! Some of you actually want to fight them? After everything? After everything I have to remind you? Yes, I am going to do this and then I'm going to die, but it's that important! This is your life all of you. Remember what it looks like! Remember what they did to us!"

Carl could see Enid slowly raise her gun and point it at Natania's head.

"You need to see this!" Natania shouted, "Open your eyes!"

"RICK! WALKERS!"

Everything happened so quickly. Carl heard Michonne's scream and suddenly the young girl next to Tara whacked Natania in the head and she fell to the ground. Carl could see Enid standing there, her gun still raised, her arms shaking.

Carl started to run towards her but his dad stepped between them and whirled him around to see the rotting corpses headed towards them out of the trees.

The stench was particularly strong from these walkers and he had to choke on his gag reflex to keep from vomiting. Shots rang out and as the dead fell to the ground. Side by side with some of the women from Oceanside they worked together. Carl couldn't help but feel uplifted. Perhaps they would agree to fight together.

As the last of them fell and his dad shook hands with a few of the Oceanside women, Carl could see Enid walking away into the trees. He pulled his gun over his shoulder and ran after her.

He found her a few hundred metres away her shoulder slumped against a tree, her arms around herself.

"Enid?" he called out gently.

She started and looked over her shoulder at him. "Oh...hey..."

He walked over, removed his gun and placed it next to the massive tree. He reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder turning her to face him.

"What are you doing out here...are you alr-?"

Suddenly she pulled his mouth to hers and his back fell against the tree. He could feel the leaves softly falling around them. Her hand reached up and tossed his hat off his head and he heard it slump in a pile of nearby leaves. Her mouth devoured him, her hands pushing their way through the layers of his coat, shirt and undershirt to reach the skin underneath.

"Enid...what are you doing?" he whispered as her mouth trailed down his neck.

He felt her hands unbuckle his belt and jeans, his growing erection starting to press against the confines of his jeans.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" she whispered as she faced him, her teeth pulling on his lower lip.

Her eyes were like fire. Carl couldn't help himself, when she looked at him like that it was like all logic and reason flew out of his head.

He spun her around and pushed her hard against the tree as he pulled her coat down her shoulders. His hands were unbuttoning her shirt when he felt her hand wrap itself around his cock.

He let out a long shuddering breath and felt her teeth pull gently on his earlobe.

"Fuck me Carl."

He felt her press a condom wrapper into his palm. His eyes flicked up to meet hers as her teeth pressed into her bottom lip.

"Whatever you say," he whispered quickly unbuttoning her jeans and pushing them down her legs as she shimmied out of them, her underwear coming down with them. She kicked her one boot off and removed her leg from her jeans as Carl quickly put on the condom, pushing his jeans down over his hips slightly.

He grabbed her leg under the thigh and steadied them against the rough bark of the tree. He rubbed the tip of his cock against her wetness.

"Please..." she whispered.

He pushed himself inside her, her finger nails digging into the exposed skin of his neck as he filled her.

He heard himself let out an animalistic groan. His thrusts were anything but gentle, Enid trying to keep her moans from travelling through the trees. He couldn't believe this was happening. Their families were only a few hundred metres away and there was nothing to keep them from being exposed. But...she felt so good.

"Fuck, Enid...I'm going to come..." he whispered, his finger tips digging into the flesh of her hip.

She shook her head, her eyes still closed, "Come with me Carl!" she whispered and pressed her lips against his. He felt her slick walls contract around his cock and her leg shudder from the force of her orgasm. Her face turned away from him and she pressed her forehead into his shoulder as he came. His thrusts losing their rhythm as he emptied himself inside of her.

They stood for a few moments as their breathing returned to normal. Enid pushed her head back against the bark of the tree and more leaves fell on them from over head. A few caught in her hair and he brushed them away.

She laughed quietly and then looked at him. "I love you so much," she said, her voice rough.

He kissed her gently. He pulled out of her slowly and heard her moan one last time. He gently lowered her leg back down and ran his fingertips gently up her bare thigh.

"I love you too Enid."

Suddenly her eyes went wide, like she had only just realized where they were.

"Shit! I can't believe we just did that." she said pulling her clothes back on and buttoning her shirt.

Carl pulled his pants back up, threw the gun back over his shoulder and put his hat back on. "I'm not going to lie...that was hot..."

Enid smiled coyly as she pulled her boot back on.

"Carl? Enid?"

It was Michonne's voice through the trees.

 _Shit...they're so going to know what was going on..._

"Coming!" Carl yelled back through the trees. "Come on...we have to get back."

Enid pulled her coat back over her shoulders, "Do I look OK?" she asked.

Carl stood back, "Well, you look like you just got fucked...so yeah, more than OK."

She teasingly punched his shoulder, "Come on! Help me with my hair!"

He smoothed her flyaway strands down and helped her adjust her shirt.

"Better?" she asked.

He nodded, "Better."

The walked back to the clearing but almost everyone had left, it seemed like they were all back at the Oceanside armory. The only one in the clearing was Michonne.

"Where have you two been?" she asked.

"I thought I saw some walkers out this way, Carl and I wanted to check it out before we left with all of their guns and they couldn't fight off another herd."

Michonne nodded but her face told Carl that she didn't believe a word that Enid had said.

"I'm going to be in trouble when I get home..." he whispered to Enid as they carried heavy boxes of ammo back towards the boat.

She smiled, "Yeah probably."

Suddenly the words came to him about what she had asked him earlier that day...about killing people...

"Enid...when you asked me earlier. I didn't know how to say it...I..."

She looked back at him, her eyebrows scrunched together.

He sighed, "It's not just the ones I killed...I think about the people I didn't kill too."

She stopped walking and just looked at him for a moment. Carl could see her blink back the wetness in her eyes. She nodded once and then continued walking towards the boat.

The rest of the way home Enid didn't let go of Carl's hand even when Michonne was staring daggers at him, Enid never let go. He rested his head against hers as the RV sped along the empty roads back home, his thumb drawing tiny circles on the top of her hand.


	24. Chapter 24

Author's Note: Hey everyone, I know it's been ages and ages and ages since I posted a chapter but I'm afraid this is the end. This is the last chapter for this story. After speculating since the summer/September of what would happen in the Mid-Season Finale of season 8 I've honestly just lost the will to keep going with this. It's just too painful to think and write about. I'm honesty still grieving and processing everything but I do plan on writing at least one (possibly two) alternate endings to the TV show story of the Walking Dead. The show is veering so far from where it should be going so the best way for me to be satisfied with it is to write an ending that I myself enjoy. Not sure when I will be posting that but it will be likely sometime in March 2018 so look out for that. Thank you to everyone who has been so patient with this story and given me such love for my writing. I appreciate you more than any of you know!

Chapter 24

The ground was still damp as the dew soaked through Carl's jeans at the knees and shins. This was it, he was going to die now. It would all be over, he just hoped it would be quick. He was afraid it would hurt. He was sure Abraham and Glenn had been in an extraordinary amount of pain when they had died. Carl just didn't want to suffer, if he was going to die he wanted it to be painless, or at the very least quick.

As Negan stood up and walked around behind him he felt a strange sense of clarity fill his mind. He could see so clearly kissing Enid and Judith goodbye the previous day.

"Protect her for me OK?" he had asked Enid quietly.

Enid had touched his check, Judith on her other hip, the diaper bag slung over her one shoulder. "Of course I will," she said, "You'll see her soon, this is just a precaution. You're going to win."

Carl wished in this moment now that he had taken the time to kiss her goodbye. She had had her arms full with Judy and the bag, and his dad had been watching them. He could feel his lips suddenly burn at the thought of how badly he had wanted to kiss her. He should have known it would be the last time. Her fingertips had lingered on his cheek a little longer than necessary.

Carl felt a sudden cool breeze as Negan lifted the hat off his head. His heart was pounding erratically. It was like his heart knew its beats were numbered and was trying to get a lifetime's worth in the few moments he had left.

He felt his eye close and could see his mom's face so clearly he almost started to cry. She was standing in a white dress, her long dark hair curling beautifully around her shoulders. Lori reached out her arms towards him and he felt his hand lift slightly as if to reach her.

His dad was screaming now. The sound of his agony filling Carl's head. Maybe he was already dead? Maybe it had already happened and he was somehow listening from the afterlife.

He would be able to see so many people he loved soon. His mom, Glenn, Beth, Herschel, Shane, Sophia…they would all be waiting for him.

"You said I could do it," Negan said loudly.

Carl's heart stopped, he hadn't died yet after all. The pain was still to come and he braced for it. Every muscle in his body tensed up and his lungs froze.

Judith's bright, sweet face flashed before him in the darkness, he straw coloured curls bouncing as she waved at him. His dad's fiercely proud face was next. He was nodding at him. Michonne and his mom were next to one another smiling at him. Enid was last, her soft mouth curled into a smile and her hazel eyes wide and lovingly gazing at him.

There was a roar in his ears and Carl felt the ground shake and move around him. Like a giant wind had swept past him.

" _I'm dead now…I must be. It wasn't so bad…"_ he thought to himself.

He felt something grab his hand and Carl forced himself to open his eye. He couldn't understand what he was seeing at first.

The chaos was everywhere. Saviours and the trash people were running away or shooting at something behind him. Then he saw it. The giant striped tiger tearing into the throat of the Saviour that had grabbed him and brought him to Negan in the first place.

"Carl!"

Carl whipped his head back around to see his dad with a rifle in his hand. Carl reached out and grabbed it from him. He could see Carol running towards him, her gun raised and shooting with several others he recognized from the Kingdom at the retreating Saviours.

His heart was pounding in his chest so hard he thought it might explode. He lifted the rifle to his face and turned it towards a small group of trash people who were closing in on Carol. He grabbed his hat off the ground next to him to keep the sun out of his eyes and followed his dad towards the gates.

A shot rang out and Carl felt the air rush past his neck. He whipped around to see a trash lady running towards him with her gun drawn. He aimed but before he could pull the trigger she was blown backwards and lay still on the ground.

Carl looked over his shoulder and couldn't help but feel the biggest smile spread across his face as he saw Enid lowering her gun. She smiled at him and ran the few steps over to him.

Before they could even say one word to one another Carl could hear Maggie over the sounds of gunfire.

"Carl! Enid! Come on, down that way!" she called pointing down the alley between two houses.

Enid nodded at him and they both turned and ran down the alley but no one was there. White smoke was billowing out towards them but they couldn't see any more enemies. The sound of gun shots were becoming less and less frequent.

Enid grabbed Carl by the arm, "What's happening?"

He looked all around them, "I think they're retreating…I think we won."

Suddenly he felt his stomach sink.

"What's wrong?" Enid asked, "Are you hurt?"

Carl shook his head, "Michonne…"

He didn't look back as he ran towards the house where Michonne had been perched with the rifle. He could see his dad come out from around a nearby corner and they both looked at each other knowing where the other was going.

As they reached the house Carl could see a body laying covered in blood on the street in front. A woman…a blond woman…

His dad looked up at him as they both realized it was not Michonne who had fallen. Relieved they took the front steps two at a time rushing through the house to find her.

"Michonne?" he heard his dad call.

Carl echoed his dad as they searched the first floor, "Michonne?"

Carl heard a thud from the second floor and they both raced for the stairs.

His dad leaned down over an almost lifeless Michonne. Her faced was bloodied and bruised, her eyes almost completely swollen shut. Her breathing ragged.

"You're alive…" Rick said almost in awe of her.

Carl could see Michonne try to smile but it hurt her face too much, "We…we…we're…"

She couldn't seem to get the words out.

"I know…" his dad whispered back to her.

Carl wrapped his arms around two of the people he loved most in the world. They had won this battle. Everyone he loved was safe. Rick, Michonne, Judith, Enid…they were all still safe, and that was enough for now.

Carl walked slowly back to his house from the infirmary where he had left his dad and Michonne. He felt somewhat disjointed, like he was somehow not really connected with his body. Perhaps it was because he had come so close to death less than an hour ago. He couldn't slow the hammering of his heart no matter how hard he tried. It was like it had been kicked into permanent overdrive.

He found himself staring at his front door and walked inside to get a drink of water. He felt the cool water splash itself over his hands as he filled a cup in the sink, took a long drink that drained the cup and then splashed water onto the side of his face that wasn't bandaged.

As he toweled off his face with the rag by the stove he heard a creak from upstairs. His eye lifted to the ceiling and he instinctively reached for his gun.

" _Someone's still here…"_ he thought. _"Probably one of those traitorous garbage people hiding out."_

As quietly as he could he pulled out his gun and checked that he still had bullets. Carl made his way to the stairs and one at a time slowly climbed up to the second level, knowing how to avoid the squeaking stairs.

All of the doors on the upper level were closed.

" _Fuck…which room are they in…?"_

Then he heard it again, a muffled creak from a loose floorboard and he knew exactly which room that trash pile was in…his.

Agonizingly slowly he made his way down the hall towards his bedroom, the door was slightly ajar and he could see a shadow moving along the edge of the door.

Carl leaned against the wall for a moment to collect himself. His heart was still hammering and it was making his hands shake ever so slightly. He placed his free hand on the door frame, took a deep breath and spun forward kicking the door open so hard the door handle went through the dry wall.

Both hands on his gun his breath caught in his throat.

"Enid?"

She smiled, "Hey."

Carl dropped his gun to his side, "I thought you were…I could have…nevermind…"

Enid walked forward a few steps, "Sorry, I knew you'd gone with your dad and Michonne and I didn't want to interrupt so I figured you'd come back here as soon as you were done. I didn't mean to scare…"

But she was cut off by Carl closing his lips around hers. His gun fell to the floor with a loud clatter. He felt her push his hat off his head as her hands pushed themselves into his hair. He grabbed her face with both hands and pulled her face back to look at her.

"I saw your face…" he whispered.

She looked up at him with concern, a small crease forming between her eyes, "What?"

"When Negan was going to kill me…" Carl could see the panic in Enid's eyes, she obviously didn't know about that, "I thought I was going to die. My life flashed before my eyes and you were the last thing I saw."

Enid's eyes had filled with tears and a single drop escaped and ran down her face creating a track in the dust that stuck to her cheeks. "Carl…"

She pulled him forward towards her again and kissed him hard. Carl brushed away the wetness of her tears with his thumb. He heard her sigh against his mouth and he brushed his tongue against her lower lip. Her tongue met his and Carl couldn't help himself any longer.

He felt himself pushing against her, stumbling a little across the bedroom holding Enid's face to his. Enid let out a small noise and Carl realized he had unintentionally pushed her against the far wall of his bedroom.

He steadied himself with his one hand pressed against the wall, the other pulling on Enid's waist so that their hips pressed together. He felt her hands pull on his shirt and then her fingertips were on the skin of his stomach.

He let out a shuddering breath and felt goosebumps spread across his abdomen. His erection quickly grew causing his jeans to become too tight in front. Enid's hands climbed up his chest pulling his shirt up with it.

Carl let her pull the shirt up over his head and for a moment they locked eyes. Neither needed to say anything, they both knew they wanted this, they needed this after today.

Carl's attention turned back to kissing along her jaw and down her neck, pressing his teeth gently against her soft skin. He heard her breath shudder as he tugged on the hem of her shirt. He pulled it off in one fluid motion.

She sighed against his ear as he traced his fingers along her ribcage. Simultaneously they both worked on unbuttoning the others pants and Carl stooped down to pull her pants down to her ankles. She used his shoulders for support as she stepped out of her jeans and Carl kicked his pants to the side.

Carl ran his hands up the side of Enid's soft thighs and grabbed her bottom. Her legs instinctively wrapped around his waist. He walked her slowly over to the pile of blankets he was using as a bed and set her down, her hair spilling out around her face.

She was wearing her black underwear again and for the first time in hours Carl's heart was pounding with a familiar rhythm. The one that only she could cause.

He pulled down her underwear and her back arched as it slid down her legs. In no time his fingers found her wetness and plunged them deep inside.

"Oh god!" she cried out, grabbing his face with both hands and looking right at him, her face flushed, her lips swollen and dark. Carl leaned down and trailed kisses down her chest to her belly button while his fingers worked. Enid's breathing became erratic and shallow, he could see her hands grasping at the bed sheets.

"Carl," she whispered, "take off your boxers."

He nodded, he couldn't wait anymore. He pushed himself over beside her and pulled his boxers off. He quickly grabbed a condom from the box by his makeshift bed and was ready in only a moment.

Carl rolled back overtop of Enid settling his weight between her legs and pushed himself inside of her. They both cried out, the satisfaction that Carl felt being together with her was overwhelming. His brain was finally starting to fire properly as he focused on her.

He loved the feeling of her legs squeezing his hips as he thrust against her over and over. She never looked away from his face, her hands wrapped around the back of his neck.

Their breathing became more and more laboured as they started to tire from the exhaustion of their love making. Carl could see that Enid was close as he eyes finally started to roll back and finally close.

"Oh my God…yes!" she cried out, her back arching up sharply and her muscles tightening and contracting around him. He let himself go and they collapsed together into the mess of blankets on the floor.

"See…I told you, you could do it." Carl said tucking a loose strand of hair behind Enid's ear.

She smiled shyly, "You were right. I didn't even hesitate. I just saw that woman shooting at you and it was over before I could even process it."

They were sitting, half dressed, in the pile of blankets in Carl's room. They had lain together for what had seemed like hours and strangely no one seemed to be looking for them. Carl was grateful for that. They were always rushing or sneaking around for privacy and for once it seemed like they'd finally found it amongst all the chaos that had happened that day.

Carl felt Enid rub the tip of her nose against his shoulder as she turned her face towards him, "How are you feeling?" she asked suddenly serious.

"I'm alright…" he said slightly confused, "why?"

She kissed his shoulder, "No I mean…about what happened with Negan…"

"Oh," he said quietly, "I don't know really. I felt somehow separate from my body as it was happening. Like I was watching myself from far away. I mostly remember seeing all of your faces flash before my eyes. Dad, Judith, Michonne…you. I only had one regret."

Her face looked up at him questioningly, "What's that?"

He placed his hands on either side of her face, "That I hadn't kissed you goodbye."

Enid leaned forward and softly touched her petal like lips against his. When she pulled back her eyes were soft but blazing, "Then always kiss me goodbye."

They smiled lovingly at each other and slowly pushing her back down into the sheets, Carl kissed her.


End file.
